"My Dear, Is There Anything You Can't Do?"

So said Eleanor Parker, as the Baroness, to Julie Andrews, as Maria, in "The Sound Of Music." And, of course, MY girls know the response. Maria says, "I'm not sure I'll make a very good nun." And the Baroness, says, "Oh, if you have any problems I'll be happy to help you!" Bitch!!!!!!!

Why bring this up? Well, the additional news from the Rialto, is that Philip Seymour Hoffman, under Mike Nichols' direction, is going to be playing Willy Loman in "Death Of A Salesman," come this February. The funny thing is, while I am not enamoured of Hoffman as an actor, and though he is young, I DO think, if aged properly, he has the technical resources to pull this off. Andrew Garfield is going to be playing the pivotal role of eldest son, Biff, which gives me cause for worry; he is too pretty, how much stage skill does he have, and I think he lacks the chops for the role. The good news, darlings, and a selling point in seeing this production, is the casting of Linda Emond, whom we just loved in "Julie and Julia"--a movie for all MY girls!!!!--and whom we continue to love as Dr. Sopher on "Law And Order", playing the crucial role of wife Linda Loman, which she will nail to the wall!!!!!

So, why am I leery about going???? Darlings, for my generation, during its educational/theater training, "Death Of A Salesman" was always thrown at us!!!! I cannot recall an English or theater class I took that did NOT include it. It IS a great play, and it was THE play of the postwar American generation, and, as most of our teachers were of that generation, they shoved it at us, every chance they got. As time goes on, and the generations give way, I think that will be less so. But right now, we have to deal with another production. I even stage managed one during college!!!! Which does not change the fact that this, for my money, is the most depressing play ever written. I mean, next to it, 'Long Day's Journey' is upbeat!!!!!! And as some of us get older, and our mortality looms more, so erodes emotional stamina. Which is why I avoided the brilliant revival recently of "The Normal Heart;" having seen the original, when younger, at my present age I was not sure I could take it. And I feel the same way about 'Salesman', even though--for all my "experience" with it-- I have never seen a live production!!!! As a theater person, I feel almost obligated, but do I really want to put myself through this????

You will, of course, darlings, know what I decide. But there could have been a way to guarantee mine and others' attendance in a second.

And that would be if Willy Loman were to be played by the one performer, who, to paraphrase the Baroness, "can do anything!!!!"

Yes, darlings, I am talking about.......Meryl Streep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, wait a minute!!!! First of all, to quote Maria, Meryl has already done "a very good nun" in "Doubt," and she loves a challenge!!!!! Remember when she played the male Jewish rabbi in the opening of "Angels In America?" Could have fooled me!!!!!! And how about Ethel Rosenberg???? Darlings, we just loved her as Ethel!!!!! What a sizzler!!!!!!!!!!!

Meryl could get inside Willy Loman's head like nobody's business. When she appeared on "The View," I still remember Star Jones saying to her, on air, "Honey, you are the only White actress I know who could convincingly play a Black woman!" I would like to take Star's statement just a bit further.

If Meryl was cast in a role, where the director said to her, beforehand, "Meryl, for this role, you will have to grow a penis," I am telling you, honey, she COULD do it!!!!! And you just know it would be the best penis EVER!!!!!!!

Meryl may not agree. And I am sure, having worked with Philip, she will support him in this, and go and see him in it. But I wonder if she has ever given a thought to herself in this role???? And I am sure, darlings, I am not the only one out there who has, either!!!!!! And, like I said, Meryl would be the one to get us 'Salesman'-wearied folk to this one more time!!!!!!!

Heaven help us!!!! Another "Death Of A Salesman"!!!!! Beat this horse until it is dead!!!!!!

How about a little wake-up refresher, with Meryl???????????????

And, girls, you just know her curtain call would be FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!