Tuesday, February 7, 2012

"You Crazy Catholics"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




This succinct remark, darlings, was stated by Monsieur last Easter, at the conclusion of my annual, and his initial, screening, of "The Song OF Bernadette." (No, darlings, we are not there yet, though the time is drawing close!!!!) As the film ended, and I laid there, heaving and sobbing tremulously, Monsieur uttered the above. I told him, he does not know the half of it!!!!!!!!!

Growing up in any faith has its own brand of theatrics, but Catholicism is certainly unique. Nowhere is placed such a premium on suffering; I am always quoting Gladys Cooper's line in 'Bernadette', "My body is pain wracked from stone floors," when pleading exhaustion.

Then there is Mary Magdalene, carrying the spices to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus on Easter morning. No matter how the books confirm it, the idea still persists that she was a prostitute. This is due not only to sexism within the hierarchy, but to those of us clinging to the hope that if a "woman of sin" can be sanctified and heaven bound, then hope is possible for any of us!!!!!!

Every actress worth their salt has played a nun--from Jennifer Jones to Meryl Streep. It is almost a litmus test for acting. And even some men--there was a company of Dan Goggin's musical, "Nunsense," that had all the nuns as men in drag!!!!!! Despite that I would have LOVED to have been in this, it is interesting to note that the results, which I saw, did not come off as humorously as they ought.
Maybe things need to be revved up a notch--like "The Sound Of Music," with Charles Busch or Brini Maxwell as Maria, and Harvey Fierstein as Mother Abbess!!!!!! What a rendition of "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" that would be.

Saints, mystics, visionaries, possessed--we have them all!!!!!!!!! And the Pope's jewel collection is perhaps the only one to outdo Elizabeth Taylor's!!!!!!!!!

My approach and prescription for Catholicism has always been a good strong dose of Jennifer Jones, backed up a dollop of my all-time favorite cleric, Father Guido ("'Ay, how you doin'?") Sarducci!!!!!!!!!!! No confession would shock HIM, loves!!!!!!!!

So, yes, I guess Monsieur is right, we ARE a bit crazy!!!!!! I, personally would not have it any other way!!!!!!!!!!

We're hazy, we're crazy--GET USED TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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