Quelle Catastrophe, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       Sweeties, I am telling you, you would not believe how rough it has been on the domestic
front.  Last night I arrive home, where I am informed by Monsieur that due to their being a
neighborhood service outage at TimeWarner,  we had no telephone, computer, or television!!!!!!

     I mean, how am I supposed to survive????? And what am I going to do about all of you???
So, I am writing frantically, or dancing as fast as I can, as the case may be.  As of this morning, when
I left for work, we were without service, and had been for over twelve hours!  I know what I would'
like to tell TimeWarner, and I know Monsieur will express his dissatisfaction in terms of financial
remuneration.

      Could you believe I had to get through an evening with no "Law And Order," "Snapped",  or
even Judge Judy?????  As Monsieur said, now he and I would have to talk to each other, which is
easy enough, anyway, as we do a lot of talking.  I was so desperate I went hunting for a deck of cards,
board games; you know, entertainment antiquities of the kind we had when I was young, and none of
these techno diversions existed.  But there was nothing to be had!  I am telling you, I may go the store
tonight, and bring home a RISK game.   And I never even liked RISK!!!!!!!!!!

      TimeWarner, I am telling you to get your act together. Thank God, we had the DVD of the
original "Paradise Lost," the 1996 documentary detailing the case of the West Memphis Three.  Like
watching a surreal Altman film.  Not  the most upbeat thing in the world, darlings: I think we will settle
for "The Sound Of Music" this evening.  Hell, I will even settle for one of Monsieur's entries in the "Another
Gay Movie" series!!!!!!!!  Time will pass, and the items at least will be cute!!!!!!!!!!!

        How spoiled and bourgeois we have become by our conveniences.  My ancestors must be
laughing their heads off.  And me, who at one time was content to do nothing but sit in a chair all
evening and read!!!!!!!!!!!!!

         As Oswald said at the end of "Ghosts," "Give me the sun."  I say, TimeWarner better give us what we are paying for, or there will be riots in the streets from disconcerted patrons who do not otherwise know how to amuse themselves.

          Which makes RISK a more valid option.  Though, personally, I would prefer Mystery Date!!!!!!!