Girls, I am telling you, it was just too much!!!!!!!!!! This was supposed to be my triumphant return to the Alpine Movie Theatre in Bay Ridge, after 15 years!!!!!!!!!!!! The last movie I saw there was--I can actually remember--Woody Allen's "Everyone Says I Love You!' in 1997!!!!!!!!!!!
I figured my return would be on a par with Dolly Levi coming back to Harmonia Gardens!!!!!! Except, darlings, for me, it was more a whimper, than a bang!!!!!!!!!!
Because Monsieur and I, and some others, went to see "The Possession," the biggest hoot of a horror movie, with the emphasis on hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like the song in "Gypsy" says, "You Gotta Have A Gimmick!" The gimmick here is, basically, a Jewish version of "The Exorcist." Imagine, the Hasidim community as heroes!!!!!!!! That is what you get here!!!!!!!
But this movie begs so many questions. The first is, why did Kyra Sedgewick, riding high with "The Closer" take on this crap????????????????? The second is, why wasn't I seen for the role of Emily, the possessed child????? Honeys, this is right up my alley!!!!!!!!!!!! She writhes, she screams, she leaps onto Daddy, and all kinds of stuff comes out of her mouth!!!!!!! I am telling you, I could do this part with my eyes closed. I just about do, every day, at work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first thing this movie made me realize is the need for good agent representation. Too bad the actors herein did not see that!!!!!!!!!!!!
But there are other mysteries. Why wasn't the dybbuk played by Barbra Streisand??????? And how come the score of "Funny Girl" did not, at any time, emanate from the possessed child's mouth?????????????
And you should have seen the Hasidim, especially Matisyahu, as Tzadok!!!!! Strictly from Central Casting, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better to have brought Henny Youngman back from the grave, and hired Tovah Feldshuh to be the exorcist. No dybbuk would mess with her!!!!!!!!!! Not even Barbra, because she knows who the better "Yentl" is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The sad thing is, contemplating these questions the movie raises for me is actually more entertaining than actually watching it!!!!!!!!!! And when we got out, I thought about heading to Manhattan to nosh down at the Second Avenue Deli--which is not even on Second Avenue, anymore!!!!!!!!!!
"The Possession" is such a hoot, it should be billed as a comedy!!!!!!!!! And based on a true story???????? Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!! Even Isaac Bashevis Singer, in his grave (may he Rest In Peace!!!!!!!) wouldn't buy that one!!!!!!!!!!!
But there is no doubt this movie possesses sensory stimulation!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to have Monsieur cook me a Kosher brisket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With compote, for desert, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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