Watch out, darlings, because the Hour of Thirteen is closer than you think! That is midnight tonight, on Candlemass Eve, when the witches sacrifice a virgin!!!!!!! You think the economy is tough?????? Try finding a virgin in this day and age!!!!!!!!!! Just to be safe, I am not venturing out of my home, once it gets dark. My virginity is rather fluid, girls--like Doris Day's!!!!! It comes, and goes! So I might look REAL good to the witches come 11:45, and they don't yet have a sacrificial victim!!!!!!!!!!
The other part of the legend says that, on this night, the witches mock the rituals of the church!!!! I don't really know what that means; besides, after all the scandals the Catholic Church has perpetrated upon itself, can it be doing any worse than the witches????? I think the witches could be lagging behind, at this point!!!!! From what I can tell, all the witches do is wear black, instead of white, and use REAL body and blood, instead of sacramental!!!!!! OK, I don't condone murder, but color reversal pales in degree next to sexual abuse of children, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But a Happy Candlemass Eve to all, and celebrate safely, any way you please, in the privacy of your home. Whether you light candles, sacrifice a virgin, deflower one, or watch "Horror Hotel",
have yourselves a wicked old time, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cackle!!!!!!!! Cackle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cackle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And don't forget to have your candles blessed in church tomorrow!
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ReplyDeleteThat's right! The Feast Of St. Blaise! I believe it is throat blessing with candles! If I have any hope of singing Fantine, I'd better get to church fast! Thanks for the reminder!