I Absolutely Will Not Stand For This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Girls, when I saw the end of "Behind The Candelabra," that fateful Memorial Day Weekend, I thought it was the most campy aerial stunt since the musical number, "The Man In The Moon," from "Mame."  Only not nearly as good.

                                      In some sort of ersatz fantasy sequence, Matt Damon sits alone in a darkened theater, with Liberace onstage, amid glittering stars, as he and the piano seem (as I recall) to float up to Heaven--where he had better look out, because his Mama is waiting for him, and you just know she is going to give him an Eternity of what-for, concerning his behavior on Earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       It was a cheesy end, to a cheesy movie, that would be better off being forgotten.

                                        No such luck, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Jerry Weintraub, who produced this film wants to mine more money out of this crap by--are you ready????--bringing it to Broadway live as a musical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I hear Hugh Jackman is being talked up for the lead!!!!!!!!!!!!  Could Neil Patrick Harris be far behind, as Scott Thorson?????????????

                                         Imagine seeing that cheesy ending done onstage!!!!!!!!  If a helicopter and chandelier can be managed, airlifting a camp actor and a piano should be no problem at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Instead, there are several problems.  First, since the film was such a piece of crap, who would go to see it live, at what Broadway charges today?????????  Second, the idea of Liberace singing defies credibility.  In "Funny Girl," yes, because Fanny Brice herself could sing, but Liberace's skill were his fingers skirting across that keyboard.  Hugh Jackman, I have no doubt, could camp it up, but to have someone singing in that "Liberace voice,"--it is almost as grating as having to listen to Harvey Fierstein!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          And I can tell you ONE thing--fresh from her TONY triumph (where she is still wowing them!!!!!!!) in "Pippin," Andrea Martin is a shoo-in for the role of Liberace's mother!!!!!!!!  Bet her numbers will be real showstoppers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Pray, girls, that this project never sees the light of day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Even Diane Paulus has sense enough to stay away from it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!