Darlings, The Season Opener Should Have Been Cybill Shepherd As Paula Deen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I simply cannot wait for that one, girls, because that will be a hoot!  Cybill playing a heavyset  blonde Upper West Side celebrity chef (just like Paula, blonde and heavyset, though heavier than Cybill, dolls, let me tell you!!!!!!!!!!!!) who lashes out at a  hoodie Black kid, because she thinks he is going to rape her!

                                    Even in this town, how far fetched is that?  I cannot wait to see this one!

                                     Which goes a lot toward saying I did not much care for "Surrender, Benson."  (What is this, a riff on "Surrender, Dorothy," which the Wicked Witch sky writes over the Emerald City in "The Wizard Of Oz?"  What is that all about?  Olivia Benson is NO Dorothy!!!!!!!!!!!)

                                       Nor is she much of an actress.  Trying to go beyond her limit, in what was simply, at one point, a redux of William Mastrosimone's play, "Extremities," I did not believe Olivia/Hargitay for a second.  Two things made this part of the episode snap, crackle, and pop--Pablo Schrieber's (the younger brother of Liev Schrieber, and the snarkiness of Lauren Ambrose as the ADA who got him off, and whom I had hoped was going to get her just deserts by Lewis. Alas, unfortunately, her parents did; her father killed, her mother raped, tortured, and left hanging in a closet.  But wait.  Lewis is taken away, still alive, and so is Lauren.  I have the feeling we have not sen the last of either

                                          This easily could have been too separate episodes, because, once this story ended, after the first hour, it went into another, with no connection to the former.  This one was based on the Castro House of Horrors in Ohio, where three kidnapped women had been hid for ten years, with children conceived, etc. Things started nightmarishly, with a child being abandoned in Times Square with an Elmo, but after that it was pretty routine.  Agatha Nowicki (who played Katie in the acclaimed episode of several season back, "Totem!!!!!!!!") was on hand as Kayla, an impaired young adult, and while she was superb, I think she has found her franchise niche.  The fact that she is doing virtually the same role here, tells me  the Law And Order staffers have recognized that whenever they need a young actress to play an impaired young adult, they call Agatha!!!!!!!!!  Good for you, Agatha!!!!!!!!!!!!  It guarantees work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Dramatically, this was a confused mess, all over the place.  I have seen better reenactments on "Investigation Discovery."  And no connection between the two stories. So, why bother to air a two hour episode????????  Either save the second one for another night, or make it clear two separate episodes are being aired in the same evening. Which is just what it amounted to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Of course, Olivia survives, and some say she is going for the Emmy gold!!!!!!!  But don't fool yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Once Cybill does her Paula Deen thing next week, she will
have that award wrapped up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Let's all eat Southern cooking while we watch, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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