As I promised, earlier this week, girls, this is the day Little Miss Rachael Sacks get hers. She is this week's winner of the Raving Queen Bitch Of the Week Award, and, while I am not sure if she will make Bitch Of The Year, come the end, she definitely merits a spot in the Top Ten!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, first, I just want to say--remember that TV Commercial for "Levi's Real Jewish Rye?' Where "you didn't have to be Jewish," to like it? Well, dolls, the same holds true for Princesses; who says you have to be Jewish???????? One of my most enduring friends, Angie, has referred to me, for decades, as a CAP--Catholic American Prince!
I don't know about that. But I do know a couple of things about Rachael that downplays the entire story she is trying to present to the world, at large!
She is pursuing a Writing Degree, at the New School. What's wrong, hon? Daddy's money could not buy you into the Ivy League????? Or you did not have the brains to get in? And if you were really talented, you would have gotten into the University Of Iowa, or the University Of California, Irvine, which are two of the best writing programs in the country! Or how about Bennington College, the alma mater of Brett Easton Ellis and Donna Tartt????????? Guess you just couldn't cut it, Rachael, not even with Daddy's money!!!!!!!!!!!
As for that West Village apartment, I knew that neighborhood, long before you were conceived. I don't care how great you think it is, it looks like a walk up to me, and who the hell wants that?????????
You hail from Bethesda, Maryland, and you say you ate McDonald's as a kid on the weekends??????? You know something? You look it! The way you dress is so out of touch with high end living in this town that Anna Wintour (whom I am sure you do not know who that is!!!!!!!) would dismiss you on the spot, just as MERYL did Anne Hathaway in "The Devil Wears Prada." And bragging about getting a Mulberry purse, at 70 per cent off? If you were really rich, hon, that per cent reduction would not matter!!!!!!!!! And Mulberry? How second rate!!!!! What's wrong with Prada, Louis Vuiton, or Christian Lacroix??????????
Oh, yeah, and real smart, writing about your masturbatory exploits. Honey, the likes of Philip Roth, Gail Parent, (author of "Sheila Levine Is Dead, And Living In New York") and Erica Jong , got there before you. It is all so Seventies passe!!!!!!!!!! How do you expect to land a financially adequate boy friend????????????????
Of course you're young, dear, so you don't stop to think about the future. Like that a diet of Diet Cokes, Skittles and sweet cakes will eventually morph you into an ugly, fat slob, which you are just pounds away from being, since you are already a little chunky right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! It shows already!!!!!!!!!!! You think you will own this town??????? It is going to eat you alive, and eventually send your whiny little ass scurrying back to Bethesda, or what ever suburban enclave you imprison yourself into.
No, Rachael, I wouldn't be you, for all the money in your Daddy's bank account.
You are SO nouveau, darling--money, but NO taste! And that is something you cannot trounce me on!!!!!!!!! I am, after all the Raving Queen.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I can be a bit of a bitch, myself, dear! So, just watch out that our paths do not cross on a city street. Because I just may haul off, and slap you across your bitch face!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations on being named Bitch Of The Week, Rachael!!!!!!!! It is the last
noteworthy distinction you will EVER get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How's that, girls?????????????????????
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