I know yesterday was Christmas Day, and many of you were busy unwrapping your baubles from Van Cleef And Arpels, but it was also a Thursday, and I would wager more than one of you out there were wondering what happened to Bitch Of The Week. I actually had a special Christmas Bitch picked out, but that will have to wait till next year, as the day has passed. So, consider this triple header a sort of belated Christmas gift to all my readers who revel in bitchery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again, it all comes back to "American Horror Story--Freak Show." Let's start with Del, The Strongman, played by Michael Chiklis. He may look hot on the Silver Daddies web site, but come on, he is a troll in the gay arena. I just love how this show is sneaking homosexuality into it--in 1952, Florida, no less!!!!!-- where gays were strung up as equally as Blacks. Still must be, judging from how things are going on, down in Ferguson, and up here on Staten Island!!!!!!!!! But don't get me started. As far as Del is concerned, he has found a gay watering hole called "High Noon" (what a hoot!) a couple of towns over, where he goes for solace. He doesn't get much, because, for starters, look at him, and for another, better looking, and equally evil homos, such as Dandy Mott and Richard Spencer, keep turning up, to ruin his act!!!!!!!!!! And potentially expose him, which is one way he might get his comeuppance.
He cannot be forgiven for the murder of Ma Petite! He is going to rue the day he did that, and it will happen in one of two ways. Either he will be exposed for the homosexual that he is (which, in 1952 Florida, is NOT a good thing; even more then, than now!!!!!!!!!!!) or, as in a fitting homage to the Todd Browning movie of 1932, "Freaks," he will be hunted down by the others and physically castrated, which was not allowed to be shown in the MGM film, (with him singing "falsetto" at the end!!!!!!) but which I want to see shown here! And also, lest we forget, Ma Petite, though deceased, could still have a hand in his comeuppance. This is, after all. "American Horror Story," dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, there is Richard Spencer, the conniving Hollywood agent wannabe, who, in tandem with Daisy (Emma Roberts) is just a pair of grifter out for what he can get. Daisy is beginning to show signs of empathy with those she is living with, as Fortune Teller Esmeralda; she could not bring herself to kill Ma Petite, and Spencer didn't have the balls to, so her made Daisy do it. So you both have to give these two credit.
It took me awhile to realize that Denis O'Haire is playing Spencer; at 5'8", they must be shooting his character from specific angles, and with smaller props, to make him seem taller--like MERYL in "Julie and Julia"--because, let me tell you, I have seen Denis O'Haire on stage, and he is not the towering figure that Spencer seems to be.
Now, he has a secret, which is almost every gay man's fantasy, except when actually confronted with it, when it becomes a handicap. You've heard about the "Irish curse," darlings?
Quite the opposite here! What am I talking about? In plain English, dolls, Richard Spencer has a thirteen inch cock--hey, wasn't that what John Homes and Harry Reems were supposed to have had???????--and every time a hustler is confronted with sucking it they...well...gag!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can bet he hangs out at "High Noon," too, and is just pure evil; he may not have had it in him to kill Ma Petite, but he would eliminate just about everyone else. And that includes Daisy, whose fate I am beginning to worry about. But, have no fear, with his moustache, which he practically twirls in silent movie fashion, Mr. O'Haire's Spencer is too villain extraordinaire not to get a comeuppance. And you know what it is going to be. Either he will be killed and exhibited bodily, with his enormous member, or it will simply get cut off! Good riddance, either way!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which brings us to our third contender, Lillian Hemmings, the curator of The Museum Of Morbidity. Butter wouldn't melt in this bitch's mouth, brilliantly played by the great Celia Weston.
I can't be sure if she has killed anyone, but she is not above taking murdered goods--whether she knows or not. Lillian is your typical female curatorial type--and have I known them in my day, darlings!!!!!!!!--manipulative and controlling--at least those they are able to--with no scruples about how they acquire their.....acquisitions. Lillian is due for a comeuppance, which I think is going to be a homage to that of Olga Baclanova in "Freaks"--something is going to happen to her, where she goes from Museum Curator to Featured Attraction!!!!!!!!!!!! A fitting end, wouldn't you say???????????????????
One last thing. That Del is not much of a strong man. We all know that Jimmy, the Lobster Boy (played by the marvelous Evan Peters) is the son of Del and Ethel, The Bearded Lady, wonderfully played by Kathy Bates. But, then, when isn't she wonderful? Well, let me tell you something about Jimmy's conception, which this show may or not may not reveal. Ethel is a good deal butcher than Del, and I am sure, during whatever passion they were aroused to, (which was a mistake) Ethel tied a huge dildo around herself, threw Del down on the bed...and fucked him royally. Or, maybe Ethel and Del are also hermaphrodites!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In any case, nine months later, it was Del not Ethel, who pooped Jimmy out of his male vagina!!!!!!!!!!
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!! Those claws must have hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, there you have it, girls....three Bitches for the price of one! I cannot wait for us all to dish about the fates they are meted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kisses, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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