Expanding The Game Of "Gay Gaslight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           I have mentioned this game before, girls!  It's the one I do with my crazy, alcoholic upstairs neighbor, who I call "Big Boy!"  I stand at the foot of the stairs, leading right up to his floor--his apartment is just above ours--and I call out, in my resonant, Broadway tones--"Oh, do it to me, Big Boy!  Oh, shove it in me, Big Boy!  Big Boy!  Big Boyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

                           Big Boy is, single, and, so I am afraid still stuck in that closet.  Which is why I think he drinks.  My idea all along is that this mantra--which comes verbatim from "Portnoy's Complaint," by Philip Roth--will reach out to him, and help him find his potential.

                            I am not sure that it has.  But I have another idea which might speed things along. Adding to the above routine, I am thinking of donning the Liza make-up and costume from "The Act," and, dancing on the stairs, like she, do that classic number from the show, "City Lights!"  Remember it, darlings-- "Fairs and socials ain't no pluses,
                                          I saw more on cross- town buses,
                                          Brightly lit by pretty City Lights.

                                          "Hold that udder, and churn that butter,
                                            Me, I'd rather shoot some gutter,
                                            Dimly lit by pretty City Lights."


                            I mean when has anyone, let alone Big Boy, last heard lyrics like that?  If this doesn't propel him out of the closet, nothing will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            And as for you who are out, already, let us look at Liza's unforgettable moment--when she was GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But someone out there, please tell me---how do I apply that eye make-up???????????