Who would have thought it, girls? Bruce Jenner, on the cover of Vanity Fair????????
Excuse me, but that is Caitlyn now. Caitlyn Jenner. Pretty name, but why such a complete change. Why not Berenice? Or Bernita? My parents had the most sophisticated friends in the Fifties--this couple named Bernita and Giles. Not "Bob And Carol And Ted And Alice" sophisticated--this was the Fifties, after all, and my parents were not sexual swingers! Oh, my God, no!!!!!!!!!!
But the sophistication of this cover is astonishing. Several weeks back, I posted a piece where I showed Jenner looking like he was halfway through being made over into Joan Didion! Not good! But, now, with this hair, the softened make-up, the lighting, and the sophisticated Forties bra and panties look, I am telling you everyone is going to be buying Playtex this Summer. Their stock is going to go through the roof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I applauded Jenner's stand! But I never thought he could look THIS good!
Like the song says, darlings, "But if you think that you can be an actor, see Mr. Factor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Caitlyn" will never look this good again: she might as well buy up a thousand copies of the magazine so she can paste a fresh photo over her actual face every morning from now on. She looks this good (well, perhaps not "good" as much as "plausible") in Vanity Fair ONLY because she had the diligent services of a phalanx of artists that follow Annie Leibovitz everywhere.
ReplyDeleteAnnie Hackovitz hasn't actually touched a shutter button or worked a photo since she shot Bette Midler in a bathtub twenty years ago. Blindsided by the move to digital photography, she nearly went bankrupt from paying so many "assistants" to do all the real work for her. She now has a greyhound bus loaded with computers, techs, retouchers, and makeup/lighting artists that follows her to every gig. If you watch her self-promoting youTube videos, note how an assistant always needs to turn the camera right way round in her hands: she can't tell the lens from the screen otherwise.
Anyway, that league of Annie Assistants made "Caitlyn" look believable, with help from Vanity Fair staffers. Ms Jenner certainly won't have them available in her boudoir every morning to repeat this little makeover, so it should be interesting to see how she manages on her own going forward. Gawd help her if she starts taking tips from stepdaughter Kim K. Tho to Kim's credit, she's learning: loved when last night she "accidentally" set afire the horrific nylon & feathers sack dress hubby Kanye "designed" for her.
ReplyDeleteAt least "Caitlyn" does not look as Joan Didion as before. But how long can he/she maintain it? I had no idea Annie had backed out; is it health, or laziness? If I were Caitlyn, I would save that Vanity Fair; she will never look that good again!