Tuesday, July 21, 2020

"Eat It, Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



                               Girls, I am telling you, for cooling off, and having a barrel of laughs, at the same time, you have GOT to see the climactic scene of the 2017 original, "Happy Death Day."

                                Darlings, the film is "Campus Camp," a combo of "Groundhog Day" and "Scream."

                                The place is Bayside College in Somewhere America.  A killer is on the loose, and serial killer John Tombs is known to be in  the area.  Of course, in Hollywood movies, when you put two girls together as roomies, one of them has to be a psycho.  In this case it is Lori Spenger (played by Ruby Modine, who just happens to be Matthew Modine's daughter!).  Lori has low self esteem issues, even though she is a nursing intern,  Her roomie, Theresa "Tree" Gelbman, played by Jessica Rothe, is conventionally blonde and pretty--everything girls like Lori want to be!  Now, girls, we all--and I can attest to myself--have had to deal with this kind of resentment at some point in our lives, but we never went to the point of Lori, did we?  At least, I did not.

                                  Lori calls Tree a "stupid little whore," and a "cheap slut."  But the sad thing is, Lori wants to be a cheap slut, too.  Tree is, indeed, because she is having an on campus affair, with a married professor, Dr. Gregory Butler.  But Lori wants him too, even though, the asshole prefers Tree.  So, Lori tries to play the plain, nice girl, wish Tree a "Happy Birthday," gives her a red velvet cupcake, with white creamed icing and a candle.

                                  Tree doesn't eat it, and continues dying, reliving the death over and over.

                                   In the best scene, the last, Tree bursts in to her room, determined to get out of town.  Lori acts all concerned, and hands her the cupcake, but Tree remembers back, and now knows Lori is the killer.  She can't believe Lori is getting all worked up over a guy, but let me tell you, plain girls have it hard.  There is a fight that, had these been A-list actresses, would have rivaled "The Turning Point."  Tree takes the cake from Lori, and holds it, saying to prove it is not poisonous, by taking a bite.  Lori makes excuses, so Tree says she will take it to the police.  Lori shoves Tree, locks the door, and when they are on the bed, Tree shoves the cupcake into Lori's mouth, uttering the classic line, "Eat it, bitch!"  As Lori tries to get the cake out of her mouth--near a window, of course, Tree grabs a chandelier, which just happens to be above the bed, coming at Lori, feet first, as Lori goes flying out the window.

                                   These seconds are priceless.  She hovers in the air for seconds, then drops, and splatters all over the front of the sorority house, causing a future pledge, Emily to scream in hysterics.  You can bet Emily won't pledge this sorority.  Even if she does return to Bayfield College.
Which I doubt.

                                     So watch out for Red Velvet Cupcakes, girls!

                                      The only question I have about this movie is, where was Andrea Martin?????
                                      You just GOTTA love it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 comments:

  1. Hey, us ordinary-looking girls have to get our attention wherever we can lol

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  2. In that photo, the actress playing Lori looks alarmingly like Maya Rudolph: if I ever get to see this gem, I won't be able to shake that idea from my head. Can you imagine if young unknown Maya had done this? It might have been even more of a hoot!

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  3. Victoria,
    Ruby Modine is actually quite attractive,
    when made up. She played down her looks
    for Lori, though I never thought her
    unattractive, just not a cookie cutter
    type, like Tree.

    But now I am suspicious about red velvet
    cupcakes. My suggestion is you be the same!

    ReplyDelete

  4. P.S.

    Victoria,

    Apart from being murderous, Lori, unlike me, never learned to
    discover the fabulousness in herself. When I wake up each
    morning, I tell myself I am Lee Radziwill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

  5. Dearest,

    You are SO right. I just saw
    a picture of Maya, and she does
    have Lori's evil stare. You are
    right; it would have been a hoot.
    I wonder if she was seen for the role?

    BTW, I thought you saw this with me!

    ReplyDelete