Darlings, Let Me Tell You, There Is Nothing More Deadly Than The Lethal Spinster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    The reason is simply because it is impossible to detect what is going on within.

                                     During my churchgoing years at home, in New Jersey, I would see, at every Mass I attended, a trio--two women and a man--who were obviously siblings, living as adults, and not married.  I found out they were The Doyles.  They did not live exactly in Highland Park, NJ, but on its periphery, somewhere between it and Edison.  Yet they attended St. Paul's 5PM Mass every Saturday.  My father and I were there, but I would notice them, not only because I was keenly observant--still am, girls!!!!!!!--but because they fascinated me.  One especially fascinated me--a tall, angular, short haired woman, the hair going gray, and colorless cats-eyeglasses.  Because she seemed the most spinster like, I dubbed her "Miss Spinster."  But I wondered about them all--how they spent their lives outside of church, what did they do, how they could be content with such an existence.  I should have written stories about them, but I was buys writing other things at the time--screenplays, and a musical! --so I did not have the chance to do so.  Still, when I look back, I think of the Doyles, who are probably gone by now, and buried.... where?   And how did things end up for them?  Especially Miss Spinster!

                                       The spinster can conceal a lot, which is why I say they are the deadliest among the human species.  One of the best examples, character analyzed above, is Miss Adela Strangeworth, the protagonist of Shirley Jackson's brilliant short story, "The Possibility Of Evil."  She goes about her town, knowing everyone's secrets, and writing anonymous letters to them, telling these folk what she knows.  Eventually, she does get a comeuppance, but I wonder if she learned anything......??????????

                             Then, there is Karen Black, as "Julie," the first segment, and really a favorite of mine, from the 1975 telefilm "Trilogy Of Terror."  It is based on Richard Matheson's short story, "The Likeness Of Julie," which I am trying to track down, and read, because, in the story, Julie is not an adult woman, but a young college student.  Karen Black here plays a spinster English teacher--and why must all spinsters be English teachers?  Can't they teach math? --who is not all that she seems.  Think of this as a mixture of "Fatal Attraction" and "Misery," but the spinster angle is maintained throughout, and its lethality is shown in all its glaring glory, with Miss Black speaking hardly above a whisper.

                                                                             

                                But the one that takes the cake, hons, is Grayson Hall as Miss Judith  Fellows in John Huston's 1964 film version of Tennessee Williams' play, "The Night Of The Iguana."  She is a repressed lesbian, which adds an extra layer to her spinsterhood, and you have to see her for yourselves.  If I have the scene right here, this is on the bus where she threatens Richard Burton that she will "take steps" if he lays a hand on her pupil Charlotte, played by the perpetually nubile Sue Lyon. OF course, Fellowes wants Charlotte for herself, so you have to see the whole film, girls, where Hall chides Lyon--"Charlotte!  Charlotte!  You defied me!   You DELIBERATELY defied me!"  I am telling you, it is just too much, and no one wants to mess with this spinster.   But Grayson is a hoot and livens the film up enormously.  This is the role I want to play in a stage production!  Again, I hope I have the scene right, because nothing beats Grayson's rendition of "Three Little Fishies," or "Happy Days Are Here Again!"  I am telling you, hons, you just GOTTA hear it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

                                 Nevertheless, she is as deadly as the rest.  If your interest is spinsters, check these out.  If you know of others, let me know.

                                   And just who is the spinster's arachnid cousin?  Why, the Black Widow spider, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Don't get bitten, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!