Darlings, I Am Sorry To Report That Sitting Through The Production On Stage IS Actual Misery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Depending from whose perspective one views it, "Misery" may be construed as a stalker's happiest/sadistic fantasy, or a celebrity's worst nightmare. The Stephen King novel, one of the best in his canon, even among non-King readers, (and which hearkens back to "The Collector," by John Fowles) had its elevated status consolidated by the release, in 1990, of Rob Reiner's still perfect filming, with iconic performances by James Caan, and, especially, Kathy Bates.

                          Alas, this "Misery" is NOT iconic.  When we walked in to the theater, sat down, and saw the set, my beloved said to me, "That snow looks SO fake, like draped blankets."  I said to him, "It's theater; go with it!" Yet, by the time the curtain came down, I found out he was right.

                            The entire production seems fake, not to mention a big letdown, what with William Goldman watering down an already brilliant screenplay, bad interpretive choices by director Will Frears that leave Laurie Metcalf at sea, and Bruce Willis left behind on the pier.

                               Willis cannot act on stage, plain and simple. Oh, he projects well enough, but there is no color and shape to his line readings.  Everything comes out monotoned, and sounding the same.  Maybe this is his way of conveying illness, anxiety, terror, whatever.  A first year acting student could do better.

                                 As for Metcalf, she is literally trapped in an  impossible situation--an iconic role she tries to muster her own interpretive skills into, but gets done in by having no one to act against, not to mention bad directorial choices, and an inferior script.  What can poor Laurie do?  Not much, which is why even she does not come as well as she could.  Maybe this is why Elizabeth Marvel left the show; she saw what she was up against, and would not suffer fools gladly.  And maybe this is why the show is performed without an intermission; I swear, before the reviews came out, I read it was being done with one; the break came right after the hobbling.  Which makes sense, dramtically, but gave audiences a chance to run out the door. Here, without an intermission, the audience is as captive as Paul Sheldon.

                                 My soul hope is that Laurie is being paid boot loads of money. She earns it, just for getting through the evening.  This must be draining to her soul, so I pray at least her coffers are being fulfilled.

                                  Leon Addison  Brown, as the sheriff, Buster, is so good, in comparison to everything else, he might as well be Morgan Freeman. And comes off like him, here.  When Annie shot him on stage, I was truly surprised at how many audience members gasped. Doesn't anyone know this story?

                                    The big surprise--and it WAS a surprise--was the contrived ending concocted for this mess, with Wills delivering a monologue not even half as long as the one Sammy Williams did in "A Chorus Line," yet he can barely get through it, while the ghost of Annie hovers in the light from behind the curtain, intoning the signature line she intones altogether too many times throughout the evening--"I am your number one fan." It did not work!  Suspense? Tension? Terror? Forget it!!!!!!!

                                      I am not a fan of this "Misery." When the lights came up, it put me out of mine, girls!  And not even Misery, the pig, on stage!

                                        He could have out acted everyone in sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Like the song said, "Ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!"