Girls, Already I Can Tell You.....This Is The GAY Book Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 If there is one thing that characterizes many gay men, including myself, it is a yearning for glamour.  The history of such is filled with many, but Janet Auchincloss, and her daughters Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, and Princess Lee Radziwill reign supreme.  That they were not two of Truman Capote's Swans is surprising to me.  Though Truman and Lee, beginning with her acting phase, and ending in 1977, had something of a friendship.  How that friendship ended is one of the disappointing tidbits not mentioned in this book.  Along with the omission of Marge Simpson, and her sisters, Patty and Selma Bouvier, and the Spinster City apartments.  Really, since all things here are Kennedy connected, the 1975 murder of Martha Moxley deserved at least a reference.  But, alas, no.

                                Some of the book is downright shocking.  It actually attests that Janet conceived her daughters, Jackie and Lee, by spooning her supposedly impotent hubby's (Hugh Auchincloss) sperm, from which she had to extract from a supposedly impotent man, into her vagina.  Further, it asserts that Lee--LEE, whom I revere--actually--oh, to think of it--actually, like ordinary mortals, went to the bathroom!  Which meant Jackie and Janet...can such things be believed?  Although, from Lee, we get a home tip--each time Lee was through with the facilities, a maid would appear out of nowhere, and insert a gardenia, into the toilet.  For freshness, Lee maintains.  So, girls, tell your maids to get going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   But, my God!  La Caravelle, Le Pavillion, Tavern On The Green, The Colony Club, Miss Porter's,(where Jackie and Lee went, and I wish I had gone!!!!!!!!!!!!) the story of the Beales and Grey Gardens, the designers, the textures and fabrics....all are recounted here!!!!!!!!!

                                     And those Mother-Daughter teas at the Plaza, which Janet held till the girls were well on their way to middle age.  Here is a tip from Janet, darlings--Do not invite total strangers into your house, and let them sit on your good, antique furniture.  I can speak to the truth of this--every time Auntie Alvin, hardly a stranger, visits us, a bug or two is spotted soon afterwards.  It frightens Baby Gojira, Ramsey, and Ramsey, Jr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The heartbreak of the assassination has been written about countless times, but this is the first rendering I have read of it, and it was certainly a horror show for all involved.  To think PTSD was not even a concept, back then!  And how about Jackie losing her first child, Arabella, then Baby Patrick, before scoring with Caroline and John Jr?  And Lee losing a child, before scoring with Anthony and Christina?  Not to mention Jackie's painful, cancerous death, her mother, Janet's, and later, John Jr.'s and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy's deaths in that plain crash, in 1999.  Thank God Jackie was not here to see that.  It would have killed her, for sure!

                                        It is moments like these that one is deeply moved, and this books reads like Joan Didion.  I wonder if Jackie and Joan ever met, or hung out?  It would almost seem appropriate, as the pair seem like soul sisters, united Daughters Of Tragedy.

                                         But, maybe because I am a bit Capote-esque myself, it is Lee who fascinates me.  How she evolved from the chubby frump on the cover jacket, to the symbol of glamour she stood for, and to which so many gays aspired, is told movingly against the background of always having to be in Jackie's shadow.  It must have been daunting.  Even though Janet always referred to her as "My Lee," Jackie was clearly the favorite.

                                          Lee was the stylish, creative, adventurous one.  She was also younger, which meant she had permission to be less conventional, and lead a freer life.  I mean, she became a real Princess, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Aren't we all???????????  With all she stood for, and, in light of her time with Capote, it is amazing to me Lee did not become one of the century's great fag hags!!!!!!!!!!!!   We all idolize and admire her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I guess she was conventional, enough.

                           Just look at Jackie and Lee. Glamour personified, atop the most decorated camel in history. And get a load of the colors, and the fabrics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            This book will arouse gays' appetites to be Jackie or Lee.  I am going with Lee, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  To do that, dine at La Grenouille, Harry Cipriani, or whatever is left that passes for glamour in this town, now!

                             Not much is left. Jackie and Lee got there first.  Two beacons that shined brightly!

                             Now, it is up to us, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!