Surprise, Surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Darlings, let me tell you, this book was nowhere on my Reading Radar.  In the first place, I do not read a lot of non-fiction, and, second, if I do, it has to be on a topic of special interest to me.  Which this was not.

                                    I admit to some hesitation, as I picked up "The Boys In The Boat.  But it had been recommended by a friend whose opinion I value, and so I began.

                                    I just could not stop reading.  Because Daniel James Brown just does not tell a story of nine young men lucky enough to compete in the Berlin Olympics of 1936, and that they came from a then Podunk town called Seattle, Washington, he manages to link this with world events, like Hitler's rise to power, and a pioneering woman filmmaker named Leni Riefenstahl!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   So, the book is more encompassing than one might expect.  And, just as the rowers speed up in completion, so does the book steam up in momentum, as one gets closer to the pivotal event.  I read the last hundred pages with my eyes flying across the page, drinking in every image and reference presented to me.   What an unexpected surprise!

                                   Where I was not surprised was the book's confirmation, which I had already formed, that I was never cut out for such activity.

                                    When it comes to boats, I will do "The Sound Of Music" scene--but that is it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two Bitches For The Price Of One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               It was really a blah evening last night, as we settled in to watch TV.  'SVU" repeated one of my least favorite episodes, "Chasing Theo."  I was not sure I had seen it, until Adriana DeGirolami, as Nanny Gloria Rodriguez came into the picture.  As soon as she appeared, something registered with me.  Once the boy had vanished, I knew she had taken him.

                                This was really A Tale Of Two Bitches.  Let's start with Nadine Lachere, played by Rachelle Lefevre.  Oh, my God!  As Amanda Rollins said, "She won't get Mother Of The Year."

                                 What is it with this bitch, the first of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award Winners?????  When first seen, she looks like she is trying to impersonate Julianne Moore in a kimono that is so short the B-girls in "Miss Saigon" would hesitate before wearing it!!!!!!!!!!  I mean, showing your kooch before............???? 

                                   She lives in one of these stunning Soho apartments which I could not figure out how she afforded, because there was no evidence she did anything but have drug fueled sex parties, and collect art.  With a six-year-old boy in the house, she simply zones him out with white noise, while she romps and plays all night like some slut.  And she calls herself a good mother???????????

                                   I hated Nadine!  Then, when her ex-lesbian partner, Fran Conway, played by Zoe McLellan, showed up, I discovered that she was a doctor, and Nadine is living off her--nice, bitch!!!!!!!--and
that Fran is actually the better parent, but, with doctor's hours, and she not being the biological parent, she has no real claim to Theo.  She was, however, planning to sue for custody, so good for her!

                                  Even with the kid missing, Nadine thinks it is all about her.  What the hell; she has no career, she does nothing!!!!!!!  Even fifties housewives cooked and cleaned; Nadine knows less about such things than the two Edies!!!!!!!!!!!!!   At least, Big Edie knew how to boil corn on the cob!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Nadine has no moral compass!  So, even when Theo is found, Child Services is going to do an investigation on her.  Take the kid away from her, but quick!  She is trash, masquerading as New York chic!  This phony should never be allowed near children.  In former times, she would have been burned at the stake as a witch, and I would have lit the match!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    This episode proves that having a strong moral compass can have its downside.
So, here comes Gloria Rodriguez, Theo's nanny, played by Adriana DeGirolami.  She is the flip side of Nadine!

                                    Gloria, to her credit, cares about Theo.  And the same goes for Theo. In the opening sequence, when she is seen preparing the child's food, and tucking him into bed, one can see Theo bonds more with Gloria than with Nadine.  I don't blame him!  The problem is Gloria is one of these right wing Hispanic Catholics who feel they have to remedy wrongs they are not entitled to.  She disapproves of Nadine's lifestyle--I agree with her!--and the mother's decision to move far away from America, where Gloria will never see him again, so what will happen to him?????????  These are points worth considering, and I am not saying Gloria is wrong to think this out.  But, she crosses the line, when she enlists her brother, Oscar, played by Rafael Benoit to collaborate with her on a faux kidnapping scheme, so she can get Theo across the Mexican border, and to her family, where she thinks he will be better off.

                                     In a manner of speaking, he might!  Gloria and her brother live in Queens, which is one of the pulsating boils of the universe!  No child should grow up there!  Let me tell you, I have seen less homeless in Queens than any borough I have been in.  You know what that tells me???????????  Even the disenfranchised don't want to go there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Who the hell do you think you are, Miss Gloria Bitch?????????  Just because you have a Catholic shrine at home, you think you can pass judgment?  If you had been really smart, you should have figured out that, with Nadine being such a mess, Child Services would have inevitably stepped in, anyway!  But your moral compass was seething like a mercury thermometer about to blow!!!!!!!!!!!!   Chill out, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Take a cue from Jackie Hoffman's Mamacita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Two flip sides of the same bitch coin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And from a second rate 'SVU' episode.

                                          You never know when and where a bitch will appear, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           But one always does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Hitchcock Once Said Of 'Tippi' Hedren, "Find Me That Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            I tried my best, girls, but I could not find the picture I wanted.

                            First I want to commend GEICO's advertising staff for thinking creatively, and getting more and more away from that disgusting lizard, who is so arrogant he would DARE to upstage Gojira!!!!!!!!!!!!!  As if anyone could.

                             Now--

                             There is this GEICO ad currently being aired.  A mother and daughter are shopping in a choctchkas shop. The daughter says something about GEICO, and the mother says, "I should take a closer look, at GEICO.

                                This moment is pure cinematic magic.  The camera zooms in, there is some underscoring, and the look on the mother's face is pure MERYL STREEP.  I mean, anyone who can accomplish this on a mere commercial should be looked into.

                                 I am not a casting director, but if I were I would want to know the name of this actress immediately.  She should get more work, because what she does here is beyond impressive.  It is downright brilliant.

                                  Alas, I could not find a picture,  But I have a word to this actress, if you are out there.  If you see this, copy it, and take it to your next casting call!

                                  People out there are watching, and while I chronicled it, I am certain I am not the only one whose attention has been caught!

                                    Maybe I should be a casting director!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mamacita Stole The Show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            I knew "Feud--Bette And Joan" would not be high art, but I am so happy it is CAMP of the highest grade.  Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange are having such fun playing the two divas that Jackie Hoffman's role as Mamacita comes off like MERYL STREEP!!!!!!!!!!!! That is right, girls.

                            Anyone who has been on here long enough knows the story.  How Joan Crawford discovered this otherwise obscure suspense novel--"What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?"--by an author no one ever heard of--Henry Farrell--and saw pay dirt in it for she and Bette.  The rest is history, and that is what was enacted last night, and will continue to be, in the next seven episodes.

                            Not that there were not some mistakes along the way.  Oh, my God; Catherine Zeta-Jones as Olivia De Havilland?  She did not look or sound anything like her.  hey, Cath, just because you won an Oscar for "Chicago" over a decade ago, does not mean you aren't washed up now!  I mean, your hubby was so desperate to work he camped it up as Liberace!  The difference was somewhere underneath all that was an actually good performance.  What have you done lately, sister, huh???????  Ryan Murphy is gay, so you couldn't have given him head to get the part!!!!!!!!!!  Who the hell came up with you, anyway??????????  And where were you dragged out from?????????

                             I hope we see children portraying Julie Allred and Gina Gillespie, who played the child Jane and Blanche.  Not only does it provide context, and sets  the whole thing in motion, but  those of us who know young Blanche's iconic line, "I won't forget!  You BET I won't forget!," realizes it foreshadows the big revelation at the climax, om the beach!

                           Next To Jackie Hoffman, Stanley Tucci scored with his portrayal of Jack Warner.  Like MERYL he is always willing to not look like Stanley Tucci for the good of the role, and it paid off here.  I LOVE when he said "I won't work with her again!  Never!"  I know what he means.  Alfred Molina did a spot on rendering of butch director Robert Aldrich, who signed his signature to what would become one of the faggiest (and we LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!) movies in film history.

                          So, "Feud--Bette And Joan" is off to a galloping start.  Whether it retains its momentum shall be seen.  But the brilliant parody of Saul Bass and "Vertigo" in the titles and opening credits was sheer brilliance, and set the tone perfectly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Gotta go, girls!  Have to rub my face in an ice bowl, laced with Witch Hazel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I'm Alabammy Bound!!!!!!!!!!! Won't Be No Hung-Up Homos, Hangin' 'Round!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                              At least, it is not the entire state, which is what I first thought, when I heard the story.

                             Disney is about to release its live-action remake of "Beauty And The Beast," featuring a well cast Emma Watson.  I had no intention of seeing it, as I thought the cartoon original, back in 1991---my God, that is 26 years!!!!!!!--was perfection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, what is the point?

                               Now, I have not seen the remake, but there has been all this talk about some sort of "gay moment"--though no one yet knows what that is--on the part of the character of LeFou, played by actor Josh Gad.  Maybe he has the hots for Gaston--hell, who doesn't???????--but this enough to make the Henagar Drive-In, in Huntsville, Alabama, cancel the film's engagement.

                                 First of all, who would want to see this lush looking film in a drive-in, anyway!!!!!!!!  Maybe Mama June and crew, who have no artistic standards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I love the person who says, "If I can't sit in a movie with God or Jesus sitting by me, then we have no business showing it.  We are first and foremost Christians."

                                   Really?  Was Jesus sitting beside you, when you voted for Donald Trump, whose mantra of hate has been spitting from him, ever since he took office?  Is it very Christian of you, darling, to hate a Disney film, because you hate gays?  You don't have to like them, but is it morally right to disparage them?  Would Jacinta or Bernadette?  You bet they wouldn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    And how is LeFou gay?  Because he is a bit flamboyant?  Then the blame must be laid on Disney, who, in trying to be innovative, is, at the same time, being offensive.  Of course, it is a rock and a hard place.  It is just as offensive to portray him as a flamer as it  would to =depict him as a great big closet case.

                                   The funny thing is, nobody gets riled up when watching Edward Everett Horton or Franklin Pangborn play live action versions of this character in Thirties films?  Were people more forward thinking, or just blissfully obtuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Seems the populace--at least of Huntsville, Alabama, is just plain ignorant!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Harper Lee, Carson McCullers, and Truman Capote would be appalled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't Read This, And Then See "Manchester By The Sea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                    Girls, I am telling you, if you do, then that is some kind of masochistic venture, because after doing both, you may want to slit your wrists!

                                     "The Little Red Chairs" is not for the squeamish, or depressed.  It had always been on my reading radar, but I kept hearing about this horrible torture scene that forced many to put the book aside.  So, I hesitated.  Is the torture scene horrible?  Yes, but, at least, with the book, you can put it down and take a breath, rest, and process it.  However, I would not want to see this dramatized.  If "The Little Red Chairs" becomes a film, no matter the cast, under no circumstances will I see it.  Like I avoided the film version of "The Kite Runner."

                                       The heroine, Fidelma, is one of literature's great, tragic heroines.  What she goes through, and how she survives is a testament to Irish strength--that whole Scarlett O'Hara thing--but O'Brien is also not afraid to indict Irish countrymen for outdated moral standards and sexual rigidity.  That rigidity is somewhat tested by another character, masquerading as a healer, while actually having been a participant in the murders of hundreds of Serbians.  He is that most dangerous of sociopaths--altogether charming.

                                         Alas, once the revelations come out, punishment for both he and Fidelma is fast and furious, especially, considering Ireland's out dated attitudes to women, for her.  Yet O'Brien's language, gritty when needed, is also beautiful and poetic.  That, and the plight of Fidlema, and its ultimate outcome, is what kept me glued to "The Little Red Chairs."  It is a spiritual, yet deeply disturbing work.  It should be read, but make sure, dolls, you are in the right emotional frame, when you do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Had No Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              You all remember The Fifth Dimension, darlings, and, of course, their remarkable singer, Marilyn McCoo.  While listening to her the other day, on my favorite classic of theirs, "Love's Lines, Angles And Rhymes," I wondered what had happened to her.  When I found out, I was astonished.  I had forgotten how easy it is to forget that time moves on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               She was born on September 30, 1943, in Jersey City, New Jersey.  She is now 73 years old, has been married forty years to hubby and group member, Billy Davis, and occasionally they still perform!  Which means she did her best work in her twenties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                This makes sense, of course, because I was in my teens, when they were climbing these charts.  But I have this blindness, or naivete, about time's passage.  Until I attended my twenty-fifth year high school reunion, I thought I was the only one who had aged; everyone else I expected to look exactly as they did, when we were in high school.  What an illusion buster that was.

                                Much the same with Marilyn.  I expected she would be as fresh and radiant as she was on this album cover.  I am sure she looks great, for her age, but I wonder how she sounds.  With the voice she had, back then, she could have sailed solo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Time moves on, girls, and Marilyn certainly reminded me of that.  But it also preserves memories, and here is the best--Marilyn performing the classic "Love's Lines, Angles And Rhymes!"

                                  Enjoy, darlings!  It still "touches the heart, in many directions!"