Auld Lang Syne, Darlings, Auld Lang Syne!!!!!

Well, girls, these are the last words you will hear from me in 2009, and thank God for that. Kiss this year goodbye, and point me towards tomorrow. Not that all was done for love, but a lot wasn't, including dealing with some fucking sons of bitches whom I hope vanish in some way during the coming year. But that is just me being a bitch, darlings.

What have we learned from 20009? Well--

1. That I am SO FABULOUS darlings. I am telling you, SO FABULOUS!

2. That while Grotesque Creatures still exist, and got something of a downfall during 2009
they can and will be destroyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. That if Jennifer Jones--Jennifer Jones, darlings-- can die, what chance do the rest of us have?

4. That Meryl Streep and Amy Adams are DIVINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. That Julie Powell taught us that men can reclaim the kitchen for themselves!!!!!!!!11
6. That The New York Times is no longer the arbiter of literary taste, as they proved this
year they don't know kiss-all about it. The arbiter from now on is MOI!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. That the older one gets, girls, you cannot be without your compact!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8. That I need a husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. That fools are not to be suffered gladly!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. And that you are all my fabulous girls out there, so a happy 2010 to ALL!!!!!!!!!!!


That is about it, darlings! Have fun and be safe whatever you do this evenings, and remember I will be here for another year to guide you through not only my life but what you can do about yours, darlings!!!!!!

Happy New Year, Loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, This Is A Special Anniversary Of Sorts!!

Girls, as might be expected, it is an anniversary, only I would know, since it is all about moi. Few things on here are not, darlings!!!!! It goes back 45 years, when I was in fourth grade and in that bitch Norma Brodsky's class. Norma Brodsky, who could not deal with a student of superior intellect in a class full of dummies, and who had not comprehension on how to deal with a child who was ready for Dickens and Melville, as I was that year, darlings. And I had already gone through the entire Childhood Of Famous Americans series. Well, on this day 45 years ago, began a phase of life that still continues, lambs; it is when I got my first pair of glasses. Girls, it was so exciting--first of all, because it was a new accessory, and even at that age, darlings, I recongnized the importance of accessorization. I told you I was ahead of everyone else. It also made me feel intellectual, because back then I thought only intellectuals wore glasses, and Iwanted to be among the intelligensia. Of course, TODAY I know that is not true; some of the world's prize dummies wear glasses. Neverhtless today I have been wearing them for 45 years.

Some readers, having gleaned my darker passages, feel I have a chip on my shoulder. Let me clarify that, darlings. I have NO regrets about the post high school phase of my life, but have bitter eternal resentment towards those first twelve years, and how they were handled. The consequences, of course, were that, had they been handled better, had I been accorded the treatement I SHOULD have, I would have gone farther in life than I would, and would by now have the fame and adulation I crave. But I am not dead yet, darlings, which means I am not going to stop craving it, until I get it, and you can complain all you want about this chip on my shoulder, but let me tell you, lambs, I will bitch you down until you are dead. So go on, hons, bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It looks like I am going to clock out at only 107 or 108 books for 2009, which is down from last year's record breaker of 114. But a new year begins on Friday, and as Grace Slick said at Wooodstock, "It's a new dawn!"

See you at auld lang syne, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Well. Girls, I Am Back....Sort Of!!!!!!!!!!!!

The year is winding down, darling, and of course things are still not running smoothly. Have to try to have my endocrinologist phone in a perscription for thyroid med, or I am going to have to go to his office tomorrow to beg for one! "The Lovely Bones," which I considered seeing a second time, may no longer be playing at Linclon Square, so to hell with that. And I have been laid up for two days; Sunday with the trip from Hell back to NYC, and then a migraine/sickness the next day, which meant cancelling a dental appt. So now I am blogging, have got to get something in my stomach, and then high tail it into the city. Darlings, I hope all this drama does not bode for 2010; this year was rough enough, I do not need more!!!!!

And New Years Eve! It may just be dinner with the Girls at Good Stuff, and that is it!!!! When you have no husband, what is the alternative? But, darlings, I am not giving up because I know, girls, I am still fabulous, and someday it will be rewarded. In the meantime, I have to run, because there is just so much to do today that I will have to get up at my usual work time tomorrow. So much for vacations being relaxing; though, at least I am not dealing with Grotesque Creatures!!!!!

Happy Countdown, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Bieber Is A Bitch!!!!!

That's right, girls! Bieber, not beaver. I am talking about the Bieber bus company, which brought me down here to King of Prusia PA, and was supposed to take me back home to NYC, and still might, only we do not know when. The latest hopeful sign is a 6:10 express, which will put be back in the city at the standard 8:10, which puts the prospect of Dignity and choir pretty much out of reach this week. But if those two rude bitches working the King of Prussia office had had their act together, and not so much ATTITUDE, this could have been avoided, and instead of driving back and forth to the bus stop all day, we could have planned an extra day hear, knowing I would not be leaving till 6:10 PM. Well, I sure will next time, that is IF Bieber is still running things, because, dolls, when I get through complaining they may not be. And those two scabs are going to be fired if I have anything to say about it. I am telling you, you do NOT mess with a New York City bitch, and believe me I am one NEW YORK CITY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!

So let's hear a bitch for Bieber, the bitchingest of bus companies! And that is not a compliment, darlings.

Hope to see you in New York, loves!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Am Coming Back, Like Dolly Levi!!!!!!!

Well, girls, please God--help!--this afternoon I should be enroute back to New York, which hopefully will get me there in time to sing in the choir, which needs my show stopping Broadway voice, lambs, to carry on. And won't James look SO pretty????? I am telling you it has been quite a holiday, what with children, "Sherlock Holmes," and Santa Baby, while not slipping a sable or a man under my tree, slipping enough under there to make it a worthwhile Christmas. And now back to the dentist tomorrow--ugh--and then a whole week to blog with my girls, and put some cleaning touches on the apartment, and fill the kitchen with an assortment of dishes. Now I have mastered wine opening, I am ready for beef bourgenon and chickens awx champignons!!! So watch out, darlings, I am still on the lookout for a husband, and armed with the ammunition to get one.

Completed "Wolf Hall," which is book #105, and now working on #106, which is "Orlando" by Virginia Woolf. Just do not think I will make it to my record breaking 114 last year, but let us hope I can make it to some movies and a hair appointment, girls!!!

So this is my last missive to you in PA, loves. When next you hear I should be back in the nabe, armed and ready to go!!!!!!

Happy Holiday Week, loves!!!!!!!!!

Girls, We Have Survived To The Morning After!!!!!!!!

Darlings, what a charming time it was!!! The roasted vegetables were the sensation of the day, and les petits enfants were aglow with the joy of the Christmas Holiday. Girls, I want to remind you that soap stains your skin while DOVE creams your skin, so use that beauty bar, darlings, to keep that skin nice and creamed. But not like creamed onions.

Are we ready to wind down? Not yet, what with some books to finish, a movie to see, and let me tell you, down here in this suburban neighborood, you might as well be the set of "The Lovely Bones." How many George Harveys are around here, I wonder? Hmmm? How about that, lambs?

But enjoy the day, and when I get back to New York, believe me, as Grace Slick once said at Woodstock, "It's a new dawn!"

Merry post-Christmas loves! And don't forget it is the anniversary of when that bitch Patsy killed her beauty queen daughter Jon Benet Ramsey!!!!!!!

Toodles, loves!

Merry Christmas, Darlings!!!!!

Well, girls, here we are, the Festive Christmas!!!!! No stopping it from coming it came, as the Grinch says. Girls, we are looking forward to our celebration, to the fact that we all have made it through this year to another Christmas, and to the presents, and the arrival of les petits enfants, which, girls, after a visit with them, will make me feel SO glad I am homosexual, and cannot have children!!!!!!

But a Christmas greeting to all my readers out there; I love you all, and know you just love my fabulousness, darling. Here is hoping I can activate some changes will I return to NYC --even a Catholic singles group, if it will land me a partner!!!! There has to be someone out for me, and that is my most fervent Christmas wish. So in the meantime, cuddle up to those you do have and cherish them, while I drink my spinsterhood away via a bottle of Dom Perignon!!!!!

Merry Christmas, loves! And yes I am posting this dressed in my red plaid flannel nightie!!!! Picture that, girls!!!!! Darlings, I am SO GOROGEOUS!!!!!!

Love to all, my lambs!!!!!!!!!!!