Girls, You Are Not Going To Believe This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Mother!!!!!!!!!! Make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Just days, darlings-days!--after I recount how Connecticut's Long Wharf is going to embark on a stage version of "Sophie's Choice", comes something even more ridiculous from the West Coast.

Sometime next year, at L.A.'s Geffen Playhouse (for David Geffen, I am sure!!!!!!!) there is going to be---ready?--s STAGE version of......."The Exorcist!!!!"

And some impressive talents are behind it. John Pielmier, who has been living off the proceeds of his only commerical hit from 30 years ago, "Agnes Of God," is penning the drama, thus returning to the sort of religious hysterics that made him famous in the first place, in the hope that lightning will strike twice. It won't, I can tell you, and if it comes to New York, can the city, let alone theatergoers, stand another 'Spider Man' type fiasco? Even if the director is John Doyle, praised in some quarters, but not mine, for his revisionist staging of "Sweeney Todd" (though I liked his "Company"), I really don't think this can fly, as, whether one regards the film as a classic or campfest, it is a lot to compete with. The movie has become iconic in our consciousness, and to redo, or undo that, is at very best a thankless task, one that should not even be done.

But theater is full of egotists, and these certainly will not be stopped. On one level, I have to say, if it comes to New York, I have GOT to see it. It could be the biggest horror flop since "Carrie The Musical," which I unfortunately did not get to see!!!!!!! On the other hand, I might not get to see this at all, because, if this does go through, I am telling you here and now--I WANT TO AUDITION FOR THE PART OF REGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, I can say, "The sow is mine!!!!! Fuck me!!!!!!!!! Fuck me!!!!!!!!!
Lick me!!!!!!!! Lick me!!!!!!!!" Hardly Pulitzer prize dialogue, but certainly attention catching. This could net me a TONY award.

So the word on this one is caution. If it flies, without me as Regan, you know it is bound to fail. Not to mention, who could compete with the very real performances of Ellen Burstyn, Jason Miller and Max Von Sydow.

Oh, and the actress who plays Mrs. Karas!!!!!!!! I just LOVE her!!!!!!!
Coming up out of the subway alone, and saying my favorite line--"Dimmy? Why you do this to me, Dimmy? You leave me all ALONE to DIE!!!!!!!!!" She is simply brilliant!
Maybe I could play this role instead!!!!!!!!!!

Be good to your mother, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!