Darlings, I Am NOT A Mormon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, girls, there were few surprises last night during the TONY Awards, but there were SOME. Let's start with those first.

The first is that "War Horse" beat out "Jerusalem" for Best Play, and its directors beat out "Jerusalem's" director. I did not see that coming, loves!!!!!!

The second was Frances McDormand. Oh, my God!!!! OK, Fran, you want to make a point by receiving the prize dressed as your "Good People" character, fine. And maybe you have eczema, or are self conscious about your arms. OK. So you cover over a nice dress with a denim jacket. Not the best thing, but understandable. But for God's sake, dear--comb your damn hair!!!! And put on some make-up!!!! You can bet gay men, and especially gay hairstylists (men) were cringing throughout Frances' time onstage. I do not know who does Frances' hair, but I can tell you this--IF said person is not the owner of the emporium, he is going to be raked over the coals by his supervisor this morning!!!!!!
The third TONY surprise was something only a specialized audience saw. And that was those of us gathered at Ellen's Annual TONY Party in Bay Ridge!!!! To cap off the evening, and thank our charming hostess, Monsieur and I got up and performed the "Caroline The Cow" number from "Gypsy," with me (who else?) as Dainty June, and Monsieur as Caroline!!!!! It was a showstopper, as I knew it would be, and Monsieur was SO skilled, doing all his "Moo's" on cue!!!!! I am telling you, he was SO good that if he weren't a man (which, thank God, he is!!!!!), he would be ready to assume the only other great theatrical role that requires good Moo-ing skills--the title character in "The Killing Of Sister George."

Now, back to the show at hand. OK, for "The Book Of Mormon;" the talent is there, but the show still did not do anything for me. Chris Rock's analogy about this show's victory being like taking a hooker to dinner was pretty apt, you have to admit!!!!! So was the victory of Sutton Foster and "Anything Goes;" both she and the cast shined in their number!!!!! You just can't beat Cole Porter!!!!!

I had predicted John Laraquette, who I felt was fine, but like that entire production, was not mind blowing. The cast did its damnedest in the "Brotherhood Of Man," with Daniel Radcliffe sashaying his cute little booty all over that stage, honey, but it did not blow the roof of the theater, as it ought.

They crammed everything into this show--"Spider Man" (bad!!!!!) 'Priscilla' (FABULOUS--with another surprise, one of the original Weather Girls to sing the signature classic "It's Raining Men!!!!!") and "Company" (very good, but too abbreviated; I know this score, so I knew where it was cut, and I would rather have seen an uncut rendering of the opening, title number, which, I think, is more representative of the show!!!!)

Frances, we love you, and are glad you won, but when it came to DRAMA last night, what ruled was "The Normal Heart!" Damn right!!!! Sure, you can put a horse puppet onstage (take THAT, Julie Taymor!!!!), but Power To The People!!!! Right On!!!!!

It was one of the best telecasts in years. And wasn't Neil Patrick Harris SO cute??? I mean, patting his little butt??? Hope your Aunt Fanny, who diapered that butt, Neil, was not watching, because she might not understand what you use it for now!!!!
Even if she is a geriatric spinster weaned on BLT's and secret readings of "The Well Of Loneliness!"

And Judith Light--great actress, but did you catch her garb??? That red, with her washed out look, with her hair down, made her seem like Baby Jane Hudson trying to do the Alexis Smith role in "Follies." And how about Patti Lupone?????
Not a peep outta her???? How did the producers manage that?????

A good time was had by all, including yours truly, who is not even hung over. Except now I really have to consider seeing "The Normal Heart," and make sure I see those ticket selling nuns in "Sister Act", which is the Catholic "Some Like It Hot!"

Neil, we love you, but next year, darlings, I want to host the TONYS. Start a Facebook campaign right now--just like Betty White!!!!!!!

The Raving Queen will rule!!!! See you on the Rialto, darlings!!!!!!!!!