Darlings, I Haven't Had This Much Fun In Forty Years!!!!!!!!!

Girls, back on November 24, 1970, when I was a high school sophomore, ABC Movie Of The Week aired something called "Crowhaven Farm." I saw it only once, but those of us who did, never forgot it. Well, honey, I can tell you, it is now on YouTube, so have a forty year feast, because, lambs, it is a hoot! It's also rather good.

Hope Lange plays an unfulfilled, barren career woman, who inherits a farm in rural Massachusetts. She and her unfulfilled artist husband (who may or may not be impotent) played by Paul Burke, who was Lyon Burke in "Valley Of The Dolls," move there, and before you know it, Maggie (Hope's character) is hearing cries in the night, and experiencing visions from the witchy past.

Things really take off when Mercy Lewis (Virginia Gregg) and her niece, Jennifer (Cindy Ellibacher) come on the scene. Oh, brother!!!! What a piece of work these two are. A pair of real witch bitches. Or bitch witches. And poor Cindy, you can see how desperately she wanted to be Maureen McCormick or Eve Plumb, (I would bet she even auditioned for "The Brady Bunch") but she was just too second rate. Even here, with her trying vainly to do a 70's rip on Abigail Williams from "The Crucible," she comes off wooden.

This movie throws in everything--pedophilia (which I am amazed got on the air), a bit of "Rosemary's Baby" and a bit of "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson, what with its death by pressing, (being crushed by stones, placed atop a wooden board over the victim's body) which is what I think made this film so memorable in the first place. Nothing creepy like this had ever been seen before, and seldom since.

So, having watched it last night, I can say "Crowhaven Farm" holds up!!!! You will love it, darlings, but I am telling you, it confirms all my fears--none of that "Green Acres" shit for me!

Neeeeeeeew York is where ah'd rahtuh say. I get allerrrrrrrgic smelling hay!