Girls, What Exactly Is Wrong With Salisbury, CT??????

Well, darlings, let me tell you, the first thing is the town is named for a low class form of steak. You know, the kind companies like Swanson and Armor used to manufacture as TV dinners, back in the day when those of us who were young and inexperienced thought TV dinners and such were SO sophisticated. The meal often came with this piece of steak, which I wasn't sure what it was, but it looked like a piece of..well, you know, dolls! Always accompanied by a dollop of dehydrated potatoes and corn. And until the advent of New York TV and radio broadcasts, and then being turned on by Jacqueline Susann, so many of us thought this was sophisticated. Until we discovered nightclubs, loves!!!!!!!

Apparently, the citizens of Salisbury are at this same low level of sophistication. It seems there is a Divinity living among them--named Meryl Streep--and they just do not know how to behave among such upper echelon citizenry.

Scandalous rumors have been emerging from this town--not really confirmed by anyone, of course--that Meryl, who won an Oscar last month for "The Iron Lady" is known in Salisbury as "the Nasty Lady." They claim she is mean, disdainful, and will not associate with the townspeople.

Now, I can just imagine what is going on. These are townspeople, who, when they see her go by, call out so everyone can hear, "Hi, Meryl!!!!" I mean, who would want that???? Let me tell you something, when the Virgin Mary appeared to Bernadette, back in 1858, she didn't exactly say, "Hey, Bern, how's tricks?" or "Honey, I hear those nuns are REAL nasty!" She just quietly and unobtrusively appeared. Which is how Meryl wants to appear in town, and should be accorded such.
Instead of of shouting out to her like common louts, suggesting to everyone that they are on a first name basis with her, when in fact they are not, they should simply, if she happens to be seen, prostrate their bodies on the ground in adoration, until she passes!!!!!! That is how to accord the Divine Meryl, until, like the Virgin with Bernadette, she deigns to visit you! I mean, honey, I haven't had lunch with her, yet, but do you see me pestering poor Meryl??????

You would think people in Connecticut--the home of Yale, Miss Porter's and Darien--would know better. Either those Salisbarians practicing this behavior are real low end, with no honest to God class, or they are simply fools, embarrassing themselves, their state, community, and Meryl!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then there is this unfounded rumor that no one is to send anything to the post office addressed "Meryl Streep;" it has to be "Meryl Gummer." While I am sure Meryl loves to be referred to as "Mrs. Gummer," considering her professional name, I cannot imagine her turning down professional mail, when she has to look at it for business purposes. Guess that post office's version of Selma Plout (a character from "The Andy Griffith Show") is cooking up that rumor, because they all want Meryl to be Just Folks, when in fact she is......Meryl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You gotta hand it to Meryl for living in a burg like this. And Salisbury ought to be glad for the value and prestige she brings the town! If Meryl should happen to say "Bye Bye," Salisbury can kiss all that revenue goodbye!!!!!!!!!!

Get with it, you idiots!!!!!! If you expect Meryl to live among you, treat her with the deference she prefers. Otherwise, you deserve to be treated as the idiots you are!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for my living in Connecticut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!