This Should Be ME, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Now, first of all, let me explain!  I am not saying that I should be BARBRA, especially on the eve before her triumphant Brooklyn return, because, to a large extent, I already AM BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!   Yes, I would love to wear the dress, depicted above, that she wore in the famous Central Park concert.  In fact, I just may, when I replicate it.

                                          But I am talking about something else!!!!!!!!  Girls, you are not going to believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I just found this out this morning!!!!!!!!!  Do you know what Director (as opposed to actor) Clint Eastwood's next project is going to be????????  Are you ready?????????????

                                             It is going to be a remake--yet another!!!!!!!--of "A Star Is Born!!!!!!"

                                             Originally, the word out there was he was going to cast Beyonce Knowles in the lead!!!!!!!!  The way I understand it, Beyonce dropped out. She is a smart girl. She must have seen the Garland classic, and maybe even the new script, and knows a property she should NOT go near, when she sees it.  And let me tell you, after the impressive performance Mariah Carey gave in "Precious," you can bet she is not going anywhere near this nonsense.

                                               The first thing I have to ask is--why???????  Why do we need another "A Star Is Born?"  When the non-musical film, with Janet Gaynor, first appeared in 1937, it seemed almost inevitable it would get a musical remake, once the right performer came along. And she did, in spades--Judy Garland!!!!!!!!--which makes the 1954 version (my birth year, loves!!!) for many of us the definitive version.  Almost a quarter century later, another musical  talent of gigantic stature--Barbra Streisand-- made her own version.  You can bet she was not afraid of stepping into Judy's shoes. Hell, she wasn't even going to try.  She was going to put her own stamp on it--and she did!!!!!!!  It might not have been the classic of Judy's, but it was unmistakably BARBRA'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Where Garland kept the classic closing line, "This is Mrs. Norman Maine," BARBRA closed with a frenetic rock type song which ended freeze frame with the closing lyrics "Are you watching me NOW?"  How very BARBRA!  It can't be denied.

                                                     The fact that Beyonce was sought by Eastwood already has me worried; they are going to resort to the crap music of today, rather than do it as a period piece, and go back to the great Arlen-Gershwin score.  But, then, no one seems to know of a performer out there, who could do this justice.

                                                        Well, I do, darlings!!!!!!!!  That's right--ME!!!!!!!!!  I can still tear into "The Man That Got Away," and I know I could handle the entire "Born In A Trunk" montage.  Plus, the update would be, instead of Vicki and Norman, it would be Victor and Norman!!!!!!!  That's right!  I would close the picture by walking out onstage and saying "This is Mr. Norman Maine!" And then maybe sing "My Man!" Or "The Music That Makes Me Dance!"

                                                           THIS is the only acceptable way to remake "A Star Is Born."  Not with that "Spring Awakening" crap, which you couldn't pay me to rehearse, but a GREAT score by GREAT composers.  With an Oscar nomination waiting for me, at the End!!!!!!!!!!!!   And how about Jake Gyllenhaal, as Norman?????????  I could find plenty of motivation THERE, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                             But, seriously now, do we really need another "Star Is Born?"  And Clint Eastwood is not George Cukor, nor is he really familiar with showbiz razzmatazz!  Now, if Bob Fosse were still around, and HE was going to do it, I would say maybe it stood a chance.  But Clint?????????  Forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                               I may be a bit long in the tooth for "Gigi," darlings, but I could still do "A Star Is Born!!!!!!!!!"

                                                               But only if it is done on THIS star's terms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!