New Evidence Of Mermaids' Existence Makes Having The Coney Island Parade This Year Crucial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             What do I know about science, darlings???????  Not only did I not take Advanced Placement Biology, I never made it to Chemistry!!!!!!!!!!! So, it seems hardly likely I would watch something on a channel called "Animal Planet."

                                 But I am greatly tempted to!!!!!!!!!   I keep seeing these ads for it, announcing a program that gives credence to the idea that mermaids do exist!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The first thing I am sure some of my girls will want to  know is--do they go topless, wear pasties, or sport colorful, safe, Disney-like designer bras??????????

                                     I can't tell you.  I have not seen the footage confirming the existence, nor do I know where they are supposed to exist.  Off  the coast of New York harbor, in the Hudson???????  I really don't think so, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Once upon a time, I thought the only mermaids in existence were at Florida's Weeki Wachee, in the Underwater Follies!!!!!!!!!!!  I even nursed fantasies of becoming one!  Yes, dears, I did have a lot of fantasies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Remember that old movie, "Night Tide?"  It was set in a rundown carnival, and Dennis Hopper played this guy who was in love with its mermaid attraction...who may or may not have been real!!!!!!!!!  If this is on the verge of becoming a reality, if mermaids are coming forward, after years of silence, then it is all the more reason that the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island be held this year!!!!!!!!!!  You better believe it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Are you listening to this, Dick Zigun???????????????????????????