These 'Bullets' Are Blanks, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       The dancing hot dogs are adorable--and ingenious.  Marin Mazzie belts out songs suggesting that, in just a few years she will be ready to take on something like "Mame."  And Karen Ziemba, in Act Two, delivers a rendition of "A New Day Coming" that recalls Ethel Merman's debut in "Girl Crazy." back in the 1930's.  These, plus the first act finale, with throngs of dancing chorines, costumed like leggy porters, in a number that recalls "On The Atchison, Topeka, And The Santa Fe," from "The Harvey Girls," and "On The Twentieth Century," are the highlights of "Bullets Over Broadway."  But it is not a hit, because too much of it is predictable, been seen before, and, basically, is lacking in "pizazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                      With its theater setting, I suppose the idea of trying to musicalize this Woody Allen film was inevitable.  The idea of using period songs is inspired, but the way the songs are placed, and who they are given to, does not always work.  I mean, ending the show on,"Yes, We Have No Bananas?"  Couldn't they come up with something better??????????  When the curtain fell, I said, "That is the ending?"

                         Nick Cordero, as Cheech, the very literate Mob Member, is one of the best performances of the evening.  I was looking forward to seeing Zach Braff (who, I believe, had a hand in writing this) onstage, but whatever luster he brought to his film and TV appearances was lacking. He is cute enough, yes, but he does nothing with it.  And poor Betsy Wolfe. After being a superb Rosa Bud in the recent "Mystery Of Edwin Drood," (with Jessie Mueller as Helena Landless!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to be handed the thankless role of Ellen Shayne, Braff's wife!  Sure, she sings great, but who cares?  She has no character to play!

                           I remember the movie being funnier and tighter.  And, let's face it, darlings, Susan Stroman is not the Savior of Musical Theater.  She is not Michael Bennett, Jerome Robbins, or Bob Fosse.  Not even Tommy Tune.  Her work here is predictable, almost hack-like; when the dancers dance like a miniature glockenspiel in their ensemble number, it is visually arresting for about a minute, then you realize there is no spontaneity or innovation behind it. Hey, Julie Taymor, you better make room for Susan on the Island Of Lost Directors, because, I think, if Susan keeps dishing this kitsch out, she will end up there.  I never thought I would be saying this, but, having recently seen the revival of "Pippin," I would venture that Diane Paulus MIGHT have a future--a future Susan was once thought to have, but, honey, her boat has sailed.

                          "Bullets Over Broadway" is entertaining, colorful, impressively produced.  It is just not exciting. Maybe if I were a 10-year-old seeing my first Broadway show, I would be impressed, but, girls, as we know on here, that ship has sailed too, and I am not one to be had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             'Bullets' shoots nothing but blanks, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!