You Didn't Think I Was Going To Get Away, Without Talking About THE WEDDING, Did You???????????????????????????

                                       From all the hoopla attendant to George Clooney's wedding to Amal Alamuddin, (my God, what a name!!!!!!!!) you would have thought it was the biggest thing since Lady Di and Prince Charles!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          MERYL was not there. Nor, I don't think was Amy Adams.  Or Blythe Danner.  So, how could this wedding be so important?  Even more astonishing, I was not there, loves!!!!!!!!  Hell, I was not even invited!!!!!!!!!!!!  I feel like Maleficent, the evil fairy in "Sleeping Beauty," and the Angelina Jolie film of the same name!   And you know what evil fairies do, when not invited to something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             But, even more important, girls, let's talk about Clooney, whom you and I both know we have all had crushes on for twenty years, ever since the early days of "ER!!!!!!!!!!"  Can you believe it has been that long, darlings??????????????//

                                               He was 33 when he began in that series, and now, he is getting married at 53!!!!!!!!  Uhm, hmmmmmmmmmm!  Let me tell you something, they may look as cozy and attractive as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones in their early days, but, come twenty years she'll look like Mama June, and his looks will be fading.  And I doubt whether they will still be married.

                                                   Why????????  Because, loves, despite the magic of Venice--a perfectly romantic place for a wedding; hell, I wouldn't mind having mine, there!  I am sure the couple stayed at the Albergo Caldo, Numero Cinqua Cinqua!  Cinqua!  Cinqua!!!!!!!!!!--this is a Hollywood front!  That's right! Clooney has, at 53, reached the point in his career and life, where his advisers have told him to get married--just like MGM officials ordered Vincente Minnelli!!!!!!!!  That's right, darlings!  I am saying that Amal Alamuddin is not so much Clooney's wife, as his Beard!!!!!!  There may be children from this marriage, but it won't be the usual way, it will be scientific, because Georgie boy ain't giving up dick for nothing!!!!!!!!!!!  Remember, you heard it first here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                      But, come on, who's kidding anybody!!!!!!!!!!  We, and everyone there know this!!!!!!!!!!!  It has been known for years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Let's leave pretending where it belongs for a change--in fantasy!!!!!!!!!!!!