Darlings, I Yelled "Zasu Pitts" Out The Bus Window!!!!!!!!!! "Zasu Pitts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                       There isn't much in the virginity department I have left to lose girls, but one was lost yesterday, when, with my beloved, I took a trip to The Hamptons.  Now, before you go thinking I spent the day with ANNA at her place, hanging out with the rich and famous--which is how it SHOULD have been--let me give you the REAL truth!

                        We took a bus tour!

                        But it was wonderful!  The day was perfect. the weather lovely, and, though the whole thing, start to finish, took over thirteen hours, it was well worth it!  I even managed to snag a couple of books, at a bookstore in Sag Harbor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          So, what was the Hamptons like?  Gorgeous, and emanating wealth like you wouldn't believe!  But, darlings, the pretension!  All the women were like these blonde, manicured Stepford Wives; remember the song "The Ladies Who Lunch," from "Company?"  There they were, in droves, so now I know where they go in the Summer!  The lunch we had along the street was scrumptious, and I am telling you, I loved Sag Harbor more than Southampton.  Not that the latter did not have the lushness you would expect.  But in SAG Harbor, I felt I could breathe.  I though of Little Edie in Southampton; no wonder she wanted to get out of there!

                        I would buy in East Hampton, where all the celebs, who love publicity, are, darlings!  I would fit right in!  You know how much I just LOVE publicity!!!!!!!!!!!  Especially my own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Now...remember my favorite scene in "Annie Hall," where Woody and Diane are standing in line to see Bergman's "Face To Face," and there is this pompous academic spouting off about Marshall McLuhan?????????  Well, on our bus, there was this vastly less educated guy, with the most annoying voice, spouting off about everything.  The topics I could filter out, but his voice as so annoying!  I wanted to chloroform him, on the spot!  He was with some older guy--neither was what you would call young--whom we could not figure out if he was the father or a boy friend.  Maybe Big Mouth has Daddy issues.

                         We found out  he lives in Brooklyn, and when the bus pulled in, at 8:30 PM, I prayed he did not live in Bay Ridge, and that I would never see--and especially hear--him again!  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But, darlings, spend a day in The Hamptons!  For those who remember the old show, "Queen For A Day." this is where you can feel just that!

                              Whether you are gay, or straight, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!