Now, What About Lila Wingo????????????????????

                              I will say one thing for reading "The Prince Of Tides," it helps one get in touch with connections to oneself.  Just as I wondered how much of me is Savannah, I wondered if there was any Lila in my mother.  As Tom says, he would not be the first son to be wrong about his mother.

                              My mother made some mistakes.  But she was not Lila.  Sometimes I wish she had been; Lila knew how the game went in the town she lived in, and my mother hid away from it.  By the time I reached junior high, I knew those children from the President streets got all the attention and focus, and I pleaded with my parents to move there.  My mother's only response was to say, hysterically, "You don't understand!"  These people can buy and sell us!"

                              And that's my problem, how???????????????????

                              Who knows what would have become of me had my mother possessed Lila's instincts.  I could have ended up becoming an emotional wreck, like Savannah.

                                Or, like my childhood friend, Doug, whose mother truly was Lila, selfish to the core, and willing to sell out her own children for a better life for herself.  To her, I would say, today, look how things turned out, you witch??????????????????

                                 Lila, because of a hired worker's obsession with her, led to she and her children being attacked and raped during a storm, when the father is away.   Both on film and in print, this is the most harrowing sequence, and I am sure Lila blamed herself forever for it.  But, while she thought it strong to not talk about it, it cost her her children's lives, almost lost Savannah's, and all for the shame of keeping a reputation so she could join the Colleton League.

                                  Colleton was on the mainland.  The Wingos lived on Melrose Island, off the main land, but were regarded as White Trash.  Partly because Henry Wingo was just a blue collar fisherman.  A brute of a man, recalling to me my Uncle, Bill Liddy.  I felt sorry for the Wingo children, and what they went through, and I should feel sorry for what my cousins went through.  I do, to a degree, but would moreso had not some of them, Judy (just like her no good father) especially, treated me so abysmally during my young adult years.  Not to mention what my Uncle did to my mother and I at her lowest time--when she was dying of cancer!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Forgive?  I wish I could!  But I can't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Same with Lila.  One reason the Colleton League looked down on  her, too, was she was so much more attractive  than they.  She had poise, bearing, and with the right wardrobe, could pull class off, better than those Southern harridans could!  And they knew it!  So, this was another reason for keeping her out!

                                    I could forgive Lila a lot.  But when she sold herself in marriage to Russ Newberry, after kissing up to his dying wife, Isabelle, who had been nothing but a bitch to  her, and whose husband, Russ, slapped Tom hard across the child's face, threatening to run his family out of town if he ever told about the striking, that was it, for me.  I could not handle someone who would sell both their self-respect and children for social gain.  Just like my deceased friend's mother.

                                    In the end, all it brought them was grief.  My mother may have made some mistakes, but she was not Lila.  To this day, I have gratitude she lived to see me graduate from college--and with honors!  I knew how important that was to her.

                                      I always had a premonition I would lose her early, so I kind of bargained with God to let her see me graduate college.  And I thank Him.

                                       Kate Nelligan nailed Lila in all her maternity and monstrosity.  She ended off walking away with the movie, and an Oscar Nomination.

                                         Just as Lila commands attention on every page of the book in which she appears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!