What A Piece Of Work This Week's Winner Is!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, after the horror of last week, I thought it was time for a fictional Bitch Of The Week. Actually, this is someone I have had my eye on for a long time as a contender, as far back as when I first started the column. The timing just did not seem right, but now it does. And while we LOVE our fictitious bitches, THIS one is pretty nasty, so what we love in this instance is not the person being portrayed, but the actress who portrays her.

Let me explain.

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is Miss Charlotte Bayes.

She was first introduced on Sunday evening, October 19, 2003, when a then brand new series, "Cold Case" broadcast its fourth, but first groundbreaking, episode, "Churchgoing People." It was groundbreaking in two ways--it was the first truly GREAT episode, and it was the first where the killer turned out to be female.

The story went something like this.

In the present day, circa 2003, a disheveled woman is found wandering a cemetery, very close to her deceased husband's grave, and clutching his newspaper obituary. She is Charlotte Bayes, a woman in her sixties, suffering from Alzheimer's. She is cared for by her grown son, Ryan Bayes (Jimmi Simpson), who lives in the house with her. With her memory going in and out, she is beginning to have recollections of the tragic death of her husband, Mitchell Bayes (John Walcott), an insurance salesman by week and a church organist/choirmaster (and he is straight, darlings; can you believe it???) on weekends. On the night of February 3, 1990, Mitch's body was found in Kensington, a rough section of Philly, frequented by junkies and prostitutes. His body was found beside his open van, he had been beaten, with crack vials, poppers, and dirty magazines, left around him. It would appear he had been prowling for action, found his Ms. Goodbar, and things went wrong.

But the case went cold, because no one could really prove the cause of Mitch's death, and the cop then assigned to it had a drinking problem, so really was not on the ball.

In 2003, detective Lily Rush decides to reopen the Bayes case. She gets opposition from son Ryan, and his sister, Tina, who has a history of emotional problems, stemming from this incident, and has been estranged from her mother and brother because of it, for eight years. Lily (Kathryn Morris) cannot seem to crack the case. No one will talk, and while Charlotte may want to, her memory is getting more and more uncertain, so her window of opportunity is fast closing.

As things go on, son Ryan looks more and more like the prime suspect--the implication being he killed his Dad to in some way protect his mother, whose favorite he clearly was. Tina begins to want to find out the truth, because she was always convinced her father was not hooking up with prostitutes. She was right. And so, finally placed in an interrogation room, Ryan lays bare not only what happened on February 3, 1990, but also the sham that was his parents' marriage, and the domestic Hell he and Tina had been living under since birth.

By the time the kids were teens, the marriage was on the skids. Charlotte proved to have a VERY dark side, being a verbally and physically abusive spouse, especially when fueled by her craving for alcohol. She would scream at and belittle Ryan and Tina for hours, and physically attack Mitch, which she would have done, anyway, but which Mitch clearly took upon himself, in order to prevent Charlotte from turning it upon the children. By the time of the fateful night, Mitch and Charlotte were sleeping in separate bedrooms, with his door bolted by several locks, to prevent her from coming in at any time during the night and rabidly attacking him. Mitch began to reach out to Judy Enright, a church congregant, and member of his choir, who had a secret herself--her husband was permanently disabled, in a wheelchair, so intimacy was out of the question. As it was with Mitch, for different reasons. So the two began to see each other. Judy undoubtedly knew the truth about Charlotte, and very likely counseled Mitch to take the children and leave. But he was in a rock and hard place. A born manipulator, Charlotte would turn the tables on him, not to mention abused husbands go even more unreported than wives because of social stigma--looking down on a man who cannot "control" his wife.

But things fell apart on that fateful night in question. Mitch drove young Tina to a sleepover with her friends, intending afterwards to break things off with Judy Enright, as Tina knew about it, and he could not bear his daughter to be ashamed of him. At home, Charlotte was with Ryan, who was supposed to go to a high school dance. Charlotte offered to teach him some moves. But they were interrupted by Mr. Enright, who confirmed Charlotte's suspicions about Mitch and Judy, calling Mitch a "cheating sinner." This sent Charlotte into a rage, and compelled her to drink, and she abusively insisted Ryan stay home with her. When Mitch returned home, soaked, on that rainy night, he was upset Ryan was not at the dance, and stood up to his wife. Pushing Ryan out of the way, she grabs a fireplace poker, and, calling Judy Enright "cheap Christmas trash," saying he and Judy are "a disgrace to good, churchgoing people", Charlotte bellows after Mitch in hot pursuit, smashing a mirror and other things along the way in her deranged anger. (Of course, being afflicted with alcoholic rage, not to mention Borderline Personality Disorder, Charlotte has no idea that HER behavior is a disgrace to good, churchgoing people, as well.) Mitch tries to get to his bedroom and lock the door, but Charlotte is too fast for him. Reaching Mitch, she stands over him, saying she will not be disgraced, and, before Ryan's eyes, beats her husband to death, with the poker. Then comes the classic moment, where the blood soaked Charlotte, framed in dark light, says evilly to her son. "Ryan...get the van." Charlotte makes young Ryan dispose of the body, and stage the murder-sets it up as being a hooker dalliance gone wrong. But this evil creature is found out at the end!!!!!!!!!

Despite her Alzheimer's, Charlotte is lead away to jail. Mitch and Tina are reunited at home, with each other to comfort for assurance. Girls, I am telling you, this scene, set to Madonna's "Live To Tell," with them embracing, and then Tina seeing the ghost of her father, Mitch, handing me a chocolate milkshake, had me in tears!!!!!!!!!

Is it any wonder Charlotte Bayes would make Bitch Of The Week????? When I first saw this story, one poster suggested it reminded him of Dave Pelzer's book, "A Child Called IT." I subsequently read that, and Catherine there is even worse than Charlotte--not only is she less income and educated, but her abuse is even worse. It is amazing that, like Charlotte, it did not end in murder.

Charlotte could only be as impressive as the actress playing her, and, in this role, Isabella Hoffman, former star of "Dear John" and "JAG", turned in an Emmy calibre performance. In just under an hour, she is required to portray a seemingly submissive suburban wife, an abusive harridan, and an Alzherimer's victim. When I saw this episode the first time, and knowing "Cold Case's" formula for showing the past and present, I was certain the Alzheimer Charlotte was played by a different actress. On second glance, I saw it was Isabella!!!!!!! What a remarkable job, and one she will long be remembered for!!!!!!!!

So, we hate Charlotte, but girls, we love and admire Isabella for having the gift and the courage to make her so real. Congratulations, Isabella, for creating one of the prime Bitch(es) Of The Week--one that, after eight years, still stands out among so many!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, darlings, that Charlotte is one piece of work!!!!!!!!!! But she is through!!!!!!! Take the key, and lock her up!!!!!!!!!!!!

What goes around, comes around--on TV and in REAL life!!!!!!!!!!!!