Girls This Week, We Have Two Bitches For The Price Of One!!!!!!!!!

                                Every so often it happens, darlings.  And ignore the third guy, off to the right; he is only guilty of being in the same frame.

                                  But, first, let me say, I feel tremendously sorry for the Delacorte revival of "Into The Woods."  Here it was, heralded as the most widely anticipated theatrical event of this Summer, and look how it has fizzled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Not even Sunday morning bacon has been as
burnt as this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   The reason for this comes from our two winners of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award--Timothy Sheader and Liam Steel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Now, you have heard me already on what they have done to the show.  Their arrogance, their crust....indeed!!!!!!!!!  I am not going to repeat myself, except to say, just LOOK at them!!!!!!!!    Mr. Sheader, the tall one, is worthy of those immortal words from Karen Black as Connie White in Robert Altman's "Nashville"--"Oh, come on Haven; he can't even comb his own hair!!!!!"  So, how could he be able to direct a Delacorte production of a Sondhiem classic???????
Apparently, he can't, for reasons, I will get into.  As for Liam Steel, I cannot figure out what he is--a leprechaun????  a hobbit???????   a gofer for coffee for Sheader???????????

                                    It seems like everyone is weighing in on them and their abominable production.  In an odd kind of way, I think more has been written about it, than had it been actually good!!!!!!!!

                                      Only it's not.  As I said, in an earlier post, these two, after this, will never eat lunch in this town again!!!!!!!!!  They will, instead, be banished to the Island Of Failed Directors, now inhabited by Julie Taymor and Diane Paulus!!!!!!!  My, that isle is filling up!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         It sort of echoes Michael Riedel's remark yesterday in the Post, which I just loved, something to the effect that if Sheader cannot cope with mounting a show in Central Park, he is not talented enough to mount a puppet show, down in Tompkins Square Park!!!!!!!  Nice touch, Mike!!!!!!!!!!! But, remember, I got there, first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          The word, according to Riedel, and others I have heard say, is that even those on the show are disgusted.

                                             Donna Murphy cannot stand her costume.  Can you blame her???, as I pointed out, in an earlier post?????????  What I cannot understand is why someone of Donna's calibre, who is essential to this production--and one of only TWO reasons to actually see it--just didn't shove the costume back at Emily Rebholz, and refuse to wear it?????????  That is what I would have done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I gather Amy Adams is not thrilled with her outfit, either, which is most unflattering to this most radiantly beautiful of actresses.  The word out there is that as soon as the show  closes, for good (because, forget about a Broadway move!!!!!!!) Amy is just going to pack it up, resume her movies, and block this experience out.  Go, Amy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               The set is a physical challenge for the actors.  It has been said by some that, when they are positioned high atop its third tier, they cannot see the audience....they cannot see anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  How dare you do this to "Into The Woods," you two Redcoat Bitches????????????  And how could Oskar Eustis allow such a travesty????????  He may want a Broadway transfer, but he ain't gonna get it, here!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    As for Sondheim and James Lapine, the word is that they are being overly polite.  Well, you know me, darlings, the Raving Queen has no room for politeness when it is NOT called for, so I say to Jim and Steve--tell us how you REALLY feel, which (and this is what I have heard) is that they are unhappy with what has been done to their show.  For the actors' sake, I would avoid an injunction to shut it down, BUT if a Broadway transfer reaches even the negotiation stage, and I were Sondheim and Lapine, I would do all in my power, to stop THAT!!!!!!!!!

                                                   But I don't think they have to worry.  Because two Brits who thought they were hot stuff came over here, thinking they would mess with theatrically savvy New Yorkers, who know their  Sondheim, better than these two, are through, as of September 1!!!!!!!!

                                                     Congratulations, you bitches!!!!!!!!!! Mine will probably be the last distinction of any sort that you receive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        However, to end, on an up note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        You will notice, that of all the things and people mentioned deprecatingly about this show, none concern Jessie Mueller.  That is because she is the shining light of this production, as she was of 'On A Clear Day.'  And I have recently heard her sing "On The Steps Of The Palace," and oh, my God!!!!!!!!!  That VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            However, as I was talking with a colleague recently, Jessie is in an interesting conundrum.  Here she is, the toast of Broadway, but she keeps walking off by  performing in shows, where she stands out, but the shows are not hits, and do not run long enough for her to be as fully seen, as she ought!!!!!!!!!!!  Too bad a Cast Recording of 'On A Clear Day' was never recorded, because it would give those who did not see it ( as well as Jessie fans) the chance to hear  what she, and the young David Turner, did to save that show. You would have the benefit of hearing the beautiful score, without suffering the abysmal book--or what had been done to it.

                                                                I said, at the time,that David Turner was as fresh and delicious as a red velvet cupcake, from the Magnolia Bakery.  Well, Jessie is as luscious as a cup of Vanilla Wafer Banana Pudding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                  The one right  thing my two BOTWS this week did was to use Jessie!!!!!!!!!!!   Only, who will get to see her???????????????

                                                                      Fly these two back to London, and lock them in the Tower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                        Chop, chop, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!