Like The Song Says, Darlings, "It Takes Two," But It Took Two To Ruin This Show!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               
                                      Who the Hell are Timothy Sheader and Liam Steel??????????  They are a couple of egocentric hacks who have already ignited the ire of New York Theater Queens, who simply adore Stephen Sondheim's "Into The Woods."  And now that their results have opened to the critics, they are going to incur such wrath from everyone, they will never, to coin a phrase made famous by Julia Phillips, eat lunch in this town again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      These two do not know beans (essential for THIS show, darlings), when it comes to Musical Theater.  They have not so much staged "Into The Woods" as rewritten it, and, if I were Sondheim or James Lapine, I would sue their asses off, so they would never make this mistake again!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       They have concocted things that are not even in the script!!!!!!!!!!  Like the Narrator being a little boy, who, at curtain's rise, runs away from home, after a parental dispute.  Who turns out to be the child of the Baker and Wife, which eliminates the whole point of them taking the journey--they were seeking to HAVE a child, not one they already HAD!!!!!!!!!!  And would you believe the whole thing (shades of Judy Garland's "Wizard Of Oz!!!!") turns out to be all a dream of the little boy/Narrator??????????

                                         Hey, Messrs. Sheader and Steel, get the fuck off the New York Stage!!!!!!!

                                        You have already heard me on Emily Rebholz' costumes!!!!!!!!!  Disgusting!!!!!!
These are fairy tale characters, not souped up urban contemporary street thugs!!!!!!!!!  Where is the charm, where is the whimsy, so that the underlying lessons within the lyrics of Sondheim's score can be learned??????

                                           And when it comes to the score--one of my favorites in his canon--it has gotten
second shrift behind the visualized conception that I cannot believe John Lee Beatty is responsible for.  Maybe he just wanted a paycheck, and was following orders!!!!!  If I were told to design this way by Messrs. Sheader and Steel, I would have just told them to shove it!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Hey, guys, guess what???????  I don't even work on the show, and I am doing that, anyway!!!!!!!!!  So, there!!!!!!!  And what are YOU gonna do about it???????  Nyaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          And the overshadowing of the score is compounded not just by the staging, but by having assembled people whose voices cannot sing it!!!!!!!!!  Denis O'Hare and Amy Adams should have known better!!!!!!!!!  Or had some good vocal coaching!!!!!!!!!!!  While the ones who can--like Donna Murphy and Jessie Mueller--are done in by the aforementioned production elements!!!!!!!!  Either way, everyone here is screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           All of which demonstrates why there is a need for purism and purists in theater, and Musical Theater, especially!!!!!!!!  Thank God people like moi exist, so that charlatans like Sheader and Steel can be put in their place, and tossed into the backstage gutter, where they belong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            What was the most anticipated Summer event has been destroyed!!!!!!!!!!
If I were Sheader and Steel, I would hide right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Because, if they are seen about now, they will be stoned to death by disconcerted purists, like Mrs. Hutchinson, at the close of Shirley Jackson's classic short story, "The Lottery!"

                                                   Just a stone's throw, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!