Wasn't Femme Fatale Friday Fun Last Night, Girls???????????

                                       I am telling you, you never such a group of such nasty bitches, as graced the TV screen last night.  They are only outdone by an all-male cast on Fire Island, performing "The Women" by Clare Booth Luce; I am telling you, you never saw such bitches!!!!!!!!!  Even if the Luce estate deems this illegal; believe me, girls, I know it has been done.  Just like Edward Albee's estate disallows all-male casts of "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?," for those who think it is really about two gay male couples.  Which, as one half of such, I think is a lot of hooey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       But such fun last night!  Though I have to say, maybe there is too much of a good thing!  Because, by the time we got to "Wives With Knives"--the title alone made me tingle with anticipation-- I was starting to nod out in bed!!!!!!!!  I glanced at the show, but could not tell you what it was about!

                                        However, "Facing Evil," a brand new program, is a hoot!  Hosted by Candice De Long, sporting a flip, almost bouffant retro Marlo Thomas as Ann Marie hair style--which you have GOT to see to believe--and a wardrobe that makes her look like a sack pf potatoes, this show was a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!
Candice, honey, since you are visiting women in prisons, you owe it to yourself to dress a little better.  Remember, these women have been deprived of the outside world for ages; don't you think they would like a little peek at what is going on now, in the world of fashion????????? As their conduit to that world, Candice, you owe it to yourself to spruce yourself up for these ladies!!!!!!!!!  Or non-ladies, as the case may be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           The bottom line--Get your act together, Candice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            It was a big night for Candice, darlings, who also ushered in the new season of "Deadly Women," sporting that short, pixieish cut that makes her look as though she is auditioning for a community theater production of "Peter Pan," but, honestly, whom are we kidding????????  The theme of the show was "Mommy's Little Helpers," women who are mothers, but are too lazy or cowardly to do the murders they want to do themselves, so they get their teenage children to do it!  And the prize went to this Indiana woman, Hilma Marie Witte!!!!!!!!!!  Let's start with the name, Hilma!!!!!!!!  Who the hell ever heard of that????????? No wonder she turned out the way she did!!!!!!!!!  She had two sons, Eric, 16 and John. 14, who was nicknamed "Butch," but looked about as butch as when I go out for a night on the town!!!!!!!!

                                            Hilma's husband, Paul Witte, was real scum, if she is to be believed, abusing both she and the children!  She got Eric to shoot Daddy at point blank range, then arranged, with the help of both boys, to make it look like an accident.  Paul, I have to admit, looked and seemed like a sleazebag, but when all we have is psycho Hilma Marie's word, can anyone be sure???????  Bu, wait, it gets better!!!!!!!

                                            No one was ever charged with this death, because the accident claim was bought hook, line and sinker.  And if Hilma had played her cards right, she might never have been caught.  But get this--facing loss of their home, Paul's mother agrees to take in Hilma and the boys--her son's killers, darlings!, only she does not know it.  Things might have just gone hunky dory, if old Hilma  hadn't gotten greedy and started ripping off Elaine Witte's checks--forging the money for herself.  Elaine was no shrinking violet; she was one smart cookie!!!!!!! When she spotted discrepancies in her statement, she knew what was going on--and she ordered Hilma and the gang to leave!!!!!!!!!!  But Hilma had something else in mind.  Driving  her younger son, Johnny "Butch", to drink and drugs, she convinces him to murder his granny--whom he was fond of, and had no issues with--with his crossbow.  Which he does, while she is asleep, at close range, insuring a slow and agonizing death.  This was only three years since Paul Witte died, and once, Elaine kicked the bucket, police started poking around, and before you know it, Johnny (not so butch, darlings!!!!!!) cracked, spilled the beans, and got them all convicted!!!!!!!!!!!!  The boys got voluntary manslaughter, and prison with a time limit!!!!!!!!! But Hilma Marie got Life, and she ain't going nowhere!!!!!!!!!  Party's over, Hilma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Again, who would name a child Hilma??????  But it rhymes with Wilma, and in the next highlight, on "Facing Evil," Candice, with her Marlo Thomas redux hairstyle, interviews Shirley Jo Philips, a real piece of work, convicted of murdering her best friend, Wilma Plaster!!!!!!!!!!   How is that for a last name????????  Plaster!!!!!!!!!  Wilma sure liked to go out and get plastered; the two women, who lived in Missouri, liked to go out evenings to honky tonk places, where they would drink, dance, and listen to country music!!!!!!!!!  I mean, it's rural Missouri, what else is there to do????????  It seems the two women were genuine friends for a time, till things went sour, when Shirley accused Wilma of stealing from her.  Before you know it, Wilma vanished, and days later, pieces of her turned up in bags all over the place.  Evidence pointed to Shirley (who was convicted, given first Death, then Life!!!!!!!!) and suspicion pointed at Shirley's then (the murder happened in 1989!!!!!!!) thirty two year old son, Glenn.  Who was never charged with anything!!!!!!!!!!

                                              But get this!!!!!!!!!!!!  Five months before Wilma left this world, Shirley's own mother, whom she described as "hard and abusive," vanished, and was eventually found dismembered.  Uh huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Looks like Shirley, or Glenn, or both, have a way with cutlery!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yet no one was charged in the mother's death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Glenn, by now, must be around 55, and I can just picture him--a real lowlife, Philip Seymour Hoffman lookalike, sitting in his trailer in the trailer park, dressed in scrungy underwear, watching trash TV, and scarfing down Cheez Doodles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               And, girls, I am telling you, you just have to see Shirley Jo sitting there, smiling at Candice, like some New Age Granny, and lying through her teeth!!!!!!!!!  About everything!!!!!!!
She did not fool me one bit; I am telling you, if she is ever released (which I don't think will ever happen)  and you turn out to be neighbors to her--MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  However, I don't think Shirley is going anywhere!!!!!!!!!

                                                No wonder I could not keep up with "Wives With Knives," after all this excitement!!!!!!!!!!  I still think its title may be the best part of the show.  Kinda like "Vampire Lesbians Of Sodom!!!!!!!!!"

                                                  Remember the "Fall River Hoedown," from "New Faces Of 1954!?"  It says "You can't chop your Mother up in Massachusetts!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                    Well, darlings, if Shirley Jo is any indicator, in Oklahoma, you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!