Darlings, How Delightful To Start The Morning, With "The Masks!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  "The Masks" is a 1964 episode from Rod Serling's classic anthology series, "The Twilight Zone."  It stars Robert Keller, as dying patriarch, Jason Foster; Virginia Gregg, as his daughter, Emily; character actor Milton Selzer as her husband, Wilfred Harper; Brooke Hayward (yes, darlings, Brooke--this alone makes it a must see!!!!!!!) playing daughter Paula, and, as their son, Wilfred, Jr. future 'Laugh-In' funnyman and Peter Pan Peanut Butter spokesperson, Alan Sues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I have to address these two first!!!!!!!!!!!  Brooke Hayward, known still for her almost 40 year memoir of her family, "Haywire," one of the best, and most beautifully written of its kind ever written, is fascinating to watch.    This may be one of the few chances, girls, to see her act, and she is not bad.  The resemblance to her mother, especially with those eyes, is quite striking. As for Alan Sues, oh my God, he is almost unrecognizable, because, at least, when this was shot, he was SO heavy!!!!!!!!!!  If he had tried to do that Peter Pan commercial back then, darlings, he would have gotten himself stuck right in the kitchen window!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        This story is simply perfect for everyone's inner bitch.  It certainly got to mine, and I am just dying to play the role of Jason Foster, with, perhaps, my overbearing cousin, Judy, as Emily!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Jason Foster, ensconced in his New Orleans mansion, is dying; he is old, and it is time. He has invited his relations and inheritors--daughter Emily, and her family--from Boston.  It is clear there is a history of mendacity between them all; Tennessee Williams would have felt at home, among them all!!!!!!!!!!!!   As it turns out, during his final hours, Foster intends to test them all. It is Mardi Gras, the wildest time in that town, and, after serving them a fine meal, he proposes something--that, until the clock strikes midnight, each wear a mask he has picked out from them.  These masks, he tells them were given to him from an old Cajun gentleman, and are said to have "magical properties."   Uhm, hmmmmmmmmmmm!
Get ready, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Each mask he selects reflects what he says are the OPPOSITE of their true characters.  For Wilfred, who is avaricious and greedy, he selects one he says is not.  Same with Emily, whose vice is self-absorption and hypochondria, daughter Paula, whose is vanity, and son Wilfred, Jr, whose is sadism.

                                              The masks look pretty creepy, darlings, and, far from reflecting the opposite of the Harpers' true natures, I think each shows them exactly for what they are.  And this turns out to be true!!!!!!!

                                                 As the clock ticks closer to midnight, their discomfort over wearing these things increases.  But their greed keeps them in check; Foster has stipulated that if the masks are removed before midnight, the only thing they will inherit is a train ticket for each back to Boston, where they came from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    They comply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Midnight strikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And now the fun begins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     Mr. Foster has been wearing a skull mask, representing Death, but he is still Alive. When he removes the mask, his face is calm, unblemished, and he dies, before them all, the sort of peaceful death we all should be lucky to have. His physician, Dr. Samuel Thorne, who has shown up, reflects on how Death is "peaceful..no fear...no horror."

                                                        Now, each of the Harpers, who are now rich, as they inherit everything  Emily's father, left them, remove their masks, and guess what, dears??????????  Mr. Foster left them something else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  They may get all his material riches, but, due to Cajun magic, the images of the masks are permanently emblazoned on each of their faces--and they will have to look like this the rest of their lives!!!!!!!!!!!  They will be rich, darlings, but who the hell will go near them?????????????

                                                           Don't you just LOVE it, girls?????????  My Inner Bitch sure does!
I would love to enact the role of Mr. Foster, with my overbearing cousin, Judy, playing the role of Emily, and giving it to her good!!!!!!!!!  Especially after what she and her no-good father did--to me, to my mother, to all of us!!!!!!!!!!!   And, though said father is deceased, I do not forget, plus the sins of him have certainly been visited on the daughter!!!!!!!!!!!  Not her siblings (who never gave me a lick of trouble) just this harridan who thinks she has risen so far above her social station, but whose breeding to begin with will always drag her back down into the trash she is!!!!!!!!!!  Let her get a lawyer, darlings, I am not done yet!!!!!!!!  Just wait till I write my book!!!!!!!!!!!!  It will make Julia Phillips sit up in her grave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                            But "The Masks" is first rate entertainment for all my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indulge your Inner Bitch, loves, and watch it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              It's better than Lucky Charms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!