Candlemass, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Watch out, darlings, because the Hour of Thirteen is closer than you think!  That is midnight tonight, on Candlemass Eve, when the witches sacrifice a virgin!!!!!!!  You think the economy is tough??????  Try finding a virgin in this day and age!!!!!!!!!!  Just to be safe, I am not venturing out of my home, once it gets dark.  My virginity is rather fluid, girls--like Doris Day's!!!!!  It comes, and goes!  So I might look REAL good to the witches come 11:45, and they don't yet have a sacrificial victim!!!!!!!!!!

                                 The other part of the legend says that, on this night, the witches mock the rituals of the church!!!!  I don't really know what that means; besides, after all the scandals the Catholic Church has perpetrated upon itself, can it be doing any worse than the witches?????  I think the witches could be lagging behind, at this point!!!!!   From what I can tell, all the witches do is wear black, instead of white, and use REAL body and blood, instead of sacramental!!!!!!  OK, I don't condone murder, but color reversal pales in degree next to sexual abuse of children, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    But a Happy Candlemass Eve to all, and celebrate safely, any way you please, in the privacy of your home.  Whether you light candles, sacrifice a virgin, deflower one, or watch "Horror Hotel",
have yourselves a wicked old time, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Cackle!!!!!!!!  Cackle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Cackle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!