"Yes, Mother! I Know I Have No Talent! I Know All I Have Is A Body! And I AM Doing My Bust Exercises!!!!!!!"

                                    So said Sharon Tate, as Jennifer North, in the 1967 screen classic, "Valley Of The Dolls."  And are we doing OUR bust exercises out there, darlings?????????  You better believe it!

                                     It sort of underscores the story of Arpad Miklos, born Peter Kozma, and a chemist in his native country of Hungary.  Now, few chemists I know look this good, or chiseled, so let's say he had other things going for him.  He came  to America, and, in 1995, began his career as an actor in porn films, appearing in both gay, and--now brace yourselves, girls!!!!--straight films!

                                    On Sunday, living in Manhattan (I would guess Chelsea!!!!!!!!) eking out a living as a porn actor combined with escort work, the 45-year-old was found dead in his apartment, an apparent suicide!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       The first thing I thought was, how sad--in several ways!  Another victim of the sex industry!  It may have made him a star, so to speak, but obviously tore at the fabric of the psyche!  Now, I have never been on a film set like this in my life, but I have chatted over the years with some who have, and let me tell you young'uns--it is not all fun and games, as you see on the screen!  It is not all that, I understand, financially lucrative, which means the salary is usually supplemented with modeling and/or escort work--and then you are old, outta the biz (unless you go behind the camera!!!) and, in some ways, not much better off than Fantine!!!!!

                                       The second thing was--while Miklos was undeniably good looking, and certainly had  the goods for the biz, like so many in it, he is so generic looking, it is difficult to tell him from others of his type.  I had to wonder if I had ever seen him in anything, and, to do that, I researched his filmography, and came up with one title--a 1995 film (made early in his career) called "At Your Service."  The story, such as it was, took its cue from the "nude house cleaner gimmick."  My honey, Eric Evans, shows up at Arpad's pad, to clean--
and ends up more bottoming out for Arpad than getting his living room vacuumed!!!!!!  You know, the same old, same old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Actually, Eric is the one who gets vacuumed!!!!!!!!

                                        Arpad made enough of a splash to land a career, but, like others I have heard, it is not enough!!!!!!!!!  You think, darlings, what with having a gorgeous body and doing all sorts of on camera acrobatics, it would be a cinch for these guys to find someone!  Well, honeys, it's not!!!  Because, inevitably, what the guys they meet want is the fantasy they have seen on screen, and not the reality which may differ in some ways.  Plus there are health and social issues--even if embarking on a relationship, how does the non-porn star feel about their boyfriend cavorting with  others for a living?????  Not to mention (I don't care how much health clearance these film companies say they do!!!!) bringing home certain health risks that could prove from mildly annoying to irrevocably damaging?????????  Like Carly Simon once said, and, darlings it is the truth, "a legend is only a lonely boy....when he goes home alone!"

                                        There was a note found.  And I am not saying any of what I have just said was the reasons for Miklos' death.  But it is a context for the risks--both physical and psychological--one takes if they venture into this aspect of show biz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I am sad for Miloks, not because of his looks, not because I had seen him in a film, but because, like all these actors, he is someone's child, sibling, cousin, nephew, friend, partner....whatever!!!!!  Not just a pretty face--or more-- on a DVD box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           A chemical engineer???? I am as impressed with that, as I am with h is attributes!  I never even made it to basic chemistry!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Whatever led Miklos to his decision is private.  His loss is saddening to many!

                                            So, young'uns, the next time you gyrate in front of your mirror, imagining yourselves as a porn star, think twice about that fantasy, and more about finding someone--a partner, friends--to share a loving, stable life with!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Like the song in 'Whorehouse' says, "Doatsy's not as simple as she seems!!!!!!!!!!"