"They All Lived Together In A Little Crooked House!!!!!!!!!!"

                                             Girls, I am telling you, you should have seen "Splitting Heirs," on last night's Season Premiere of "Blood Relatives."  This story was a hoot!  Imagine a town like Laceyville, Pennsylvania (what a name!) where the local barber and his family are considered the town gentry! Sweeties, where I came from, a barber would be confined to Goat Alley.

                                                What a family those Colegroves were. Butter wouldn't melt in their mouth.  But that Mama Marlene--what a bitch!  Taking her anger out on a little girl, Brianna, adopted by son Robert  and daughter-in-law Heather. Seemed Marlene disapproved of the adoption, and them taking on a third kid, since she and hubby Joe were supporting then all, living adjacent to each other on adjoining properties. What I want to know is--why didn't Robert or Heather work?????????  Even gangsters earn a living!!!!!!!!!  And how about poor Fantine????????????

                                                   No wonder there was tension in that household, which turns out to be as crooked as Agatha Christie's!!!!!!!!!!!  What Marlene does is take out her anger on son Robert, by writing him out of the will, leaving him with only $1.  Meanwhile, oldest son Michael lives with his parents, is not married (uhm, hmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I am not sure if he works either.  Hell, the senior Colegroves take the prize for Best Enablers!  They outdo even Agnes Wickfield in "David Copperfield!"

                                                    Tensions came to a head on the night of August 8, 2007, when, amidst a blinding thunder and lightning storm, right out of a Gothic thriller, someone broke in to the Colegrove house, severed all ties (like phone wires and such) to the outside world, and shot, at point blank range, Son Michael. Daddy Joe, and Mama Marlene  Even leaving Michael's brain on the bookshelf!!!!!!!  Way to go!!!!!!!!!.  Now, maybe Marlene  did deserve it, but she really oughtn't to have been murdered. Someone just needed to bitch slap her good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        For awhile, it looked like Robert or Heather would turn out to be the killers. But it turned out to be Golden Son Steven--the youngest, an Air Force honoree, an athlete, but also a big old con artist. Steven had this ruse where he was living away from his family, rent free, with some couple, who took him in (why???????) due to his suffering from colon cancer!!!!!!!!!  Which, it turns out, he never had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Steven was another one it was not clear what, if anything he did for a living!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Freeloading seemed to be the Colegrove siblings' family trait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well, supposedly ( and I will explain why I say "supposedly") it was Golden Boy Steven, who was the culprit!!!!!!!!!

                                                              With Robert having been written out of the family will, that left Steven and older brother Michael as mutual beneficiaries.  Well, it seems Steven wanted it all to himself, and he concluded the only way to attain that would be to eliminate Michael and his parents.  Nice, huh??????
Watch out for those so-called Golden Children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   Except, (and here is where the "supposedly" explanation comes in)  I maintain that Steven is taking the rap for someone else--his adoptive niece, Robert and Heather's adopted daughter, Brianna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                     I am telling you, those shots of Brianna, always in a white angel's outfit, with halo and wings, and it is not Halloween yet--come on!!!!!!!!!!!!  What parent would be nuts enough to allow their child to parade around like that.  And Mama Marlene took a disliking to Brianna from the start, and never concealed it to anyone--not even Brianna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And you better believe Brianna sensed that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                       So, I think Little Miss Brianna, under the guise of Innocence, fed up with the treatment she was getting from this adoptive family, when there were better ones out there, took it upon herself to commit the murders!!!!!!!!!!!  Cool as ice, this one!!!!!!!!!!!!  And she is still walking around today.  Let's see, if she were 9 or 10 in 2,0008 that would make her about 14 or 15 today. And she is still walking around. Darlings, all I can say is--watch out for this Lethal Lolita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                         They better get to work on straightening out Brianna! Like the song lyric says in "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia," "Little Sister don't miss, when she aims her gun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                                            Damn right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!