Oh, My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You Have Got To See "Novitiate" For The Scene, Where Melissa Leo Splays Out Across The Altar, And Spreads Her Legs For Christ!!!!!!!!!!!

                              I realize how blasphemous that must sound, but it really isn't.

                              Honestly, I don't know what to think.  It is painfully apparent that first time writer and director Margaret Betts wants her film to be taken seriously.  But, then, there are these scenes so over the top, the viewer cannot decide between being shocked, or laughing out loud.

                              Take Melissa on the altar.  Her character, known simply as Reverend Mother, has been reprimanded by the Archbishop, (Denis O'Hare, in a good scene; wish he had been given more) for not having adhered to the tenets of the newly implanted Vatican II rituals.  In a dignified, but tearful speech, she acquiesces before the community of nuns, tears streaming down her face, that this will be the new rule of order.  The older nuns are clearly appalled, and Melissa walks out, with dignity.  Had the scene ended there, it would have been fine.

                                But things continue, with her going before the chapel altar, alone, rolling and writhing on the floor, gnashing her teeth, ranting and raving, culminating in spreading herself costumed, like a child making a snow angel, but for an adult woman having an air of sexuality about it, where she cries unto Christ, "I am still here, my spiritual husband!"

                                 How is one supposed to accept this?  Melissa goes about this with all the acting ferocity she is noted for, but even she does not seem clear why she is doing this?  So, how can we?

                                   And that is the problem with "Novitiate."  It wants to be taken seriously, but between this, self flagellation, starvation, a nun walking nude through the dining hall, in protest of Vatican II--I kid you not!!!!!!!!!!--and a lesbian encounter that I cannot believe someone as astute as Melissa Leo's Reverend Mother would let anyone get away with, I am at a loss for words as to what was intended. I thought Ken Russell's 1971 film, "The Devils," was pushing things, but some of the scenes here, and how they are enacted, would make even Russell bug-eyed.

                                 Having been raised Catholic, I HAD to see the film.  But I found it upsetting, not just over the frequently medieval antics these young women were forced to perform in the second half of the twentieth century, but how the viewer is called upon to absorb this material--seriously, or with irreverence???????????

                                  Margaret Quall, whom I have been told, is Andie MacDowell's daughter--and one can see the resemblance--plays the title role, but there is an actress-y side to her, like she is trying to channel Jennifer Jones in "The Song Of Bernadette," rather than genuinely inhabiting her role, as Jones so brilliantly did.

                                      The most reverential, and interesting sequence, was when the nuns take their final vows.  The phrase "Bride Of Christ," is taken, literally, as they march down the aisle, families present in traditional wedding gowns, each espousing her vows, being asked what she seeks, after which they prostrate themselves face down on the floor, and are covered with a black cloth.

                                       I found this fascinating.  I am sure it was done back then, I wonder if it is now????????

                                  Other things about this film irked me.  A young novice hopes she makes the nunnery, so she can die young, and become a saint.  Yes, I kid you not!  That is what she says.  Well, I say, hon, if that's what it is all about for you, than what are you doing here?  That is NOT what is all about.  Another says she was inspired by Audrey Hepburn in "A Nun's Story!!!!!!!!!"  Where were your researchers, Miss Betts?  It is "THE Nun's Story," and does anyone recall how that film ends?  Audrey Hepburn throws open the convent door, and, in a famous long shot, walks away from its world, her steps clacking over the cobblestones to a decidedly non-Catholic fadeout.  The Church must have shocked by this.  I can only imagine what they would think of "Novitiate."

                                     And you have to see the scene where Julianne Nicholson, as Cathleen's mother, Nora Harris, has it out with Melissa Leo!!!!!!!!!  Hons, I am telling you, not since "The Turning Point..........."  With this role, Julianne makes it clear she could play Alice Crimmins as cheaply as Alice was, at the time!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It is not decisive enough to be taken seriously, nor fun enough to be campy.  Despite some good work by solid actors, the film rests in stasis.  Oh, and might have been improved by having been shot in black-and-white.

                                     When the film was over, I was ready to say "Amen!" and drink an enormous Cape Cod!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Anyone who goes to this film had best be prepared for both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        And it makes clear why we Catholics' bodies are pain wracked, from stone floors!!!!!!!!  Pain wracked from stone floors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!