"Kingdom Of The Spiders" Exploits Both Actors And Animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Now, girls, I may not like spiders, but they have a right to exist.  Same with rats and pit bulls.  But "Kingdom Of The Spiders" sets new lows, not just in script, acting, direction; in fact, just about every aspect of filmmaking, but some things I will not tolerate.

                              One thing I don't abide is child exploitation.  Now, the child pictured above is Natasha Ryan, who was forced to do this scene.  But Natasha has an unsavory history.  For a brief period of time--maybe till Child Protective Services got wise--Natasha was whom to call on when needing an actress to portray a doomed child.  Take note.  She was the abused child in the 1976, TV film "Sybil" with Martine Bartlett unforgettable as the abusive Hattie Dorsett.  The same year she was in "Kingdom Of The Spiders," Natasha was in "Mary Jane Harper Cried Last Night," a TV movie about child abuse. which had an adult Susan Dey not only being horrid and neglectful to this child, but cozying up to daddy Kevin McCarthy in a disturbingly incestuous manner that I thought was pushing the envelope for television.

                               Now, let us talk about the spiders themselves.  Six years ago, when Bruce Davison scored a hit with "Willard," which used real rats, I understand that when the film was done, all the rats were exterminated.  Again, I don't like rats, but that seems inordinately cruel.  Why not just fly them to New York City, and dump them into the subway system?  What difference would it make, anyway?

                               It was comforting to notice that, in the crowd scenes, which hardly compared to "Gone With The Wind," the actors seemed to be dancing over the spiders, as though not wanting to kill them.  This also may have had to do with fear of contact with them, or being bitten, but at least the viewer did not have to watch spiders being squashed in front of their eyes.

                              What this film proves is that giant spiders are better than real ones.  They are scary and menacing--and, most of all, not REAL.  At least, I hope not.  And they are much more menacing than real life spiders.

                                 Those having never seen this film should take a look.  Having already seen it, I can say if "Svengoolie" should show this again, David and I will skip it.

                                  "Down came the rain, and washed the spider out," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is A Tragic Day, Darlings, With Two Sad Anniversaries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               The first is the 85th Anniversary of Kristallnacht, or the Night Of Glass, where stones and bricks were thrown at Jewish affiliated businesses and places of worship in Germany.  It triggered what become known as the Holocaust, and with the situation in Israel, seems even more prescient today.

                                                                       

                            And, on this day, 52 years ago, John List, aged 46, killed his wife Helen, his mother Alma, and his three children, Patricia, Frederick and John, Jr.  He planned the act for November 1, which was All Saints Day.  It was his belief they were living in a world of sin and would go on to sinful deeds--Patty was already active in theater!!!!!--and felt they would be better off if he sent them to heaven.  He even allowed the daughter a Halloween party, knowing it would be her last night alive.  But something cancelled the plan--a part that did not arrive, maybe--and it was done on the 9th.  The connection to Kristallnacht is chillingly coincidental.  Nothing I have read on List indicated it was ever on his mind.

                          Nevertheless, this is a tragic day.  May all rest in peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             

                                                                        

It Is Here! Nine Hundred Ninety-Two Pages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All BARBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All The Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  No, darlings, I have not bought it, nor have I read it.

                                  And I am not sure I am going to.

                                  Having felt I grew up with BARBRA, and during the "Funny Girl" period wanting to BE her, having read much about her over the years--hell, decades-- I don't know how much more I can know about BARBRA, or would want to, without knowing her personally.

                                     Almost a thousand pages.  Hubris?  Arrogance?

                                    If I hear this is juicy, where she grinds axes, I may give it a glance.

                                    BARBRA does deserve to have the last word.

                                     But must she shove so much down our throats??????????????????????

                                     

Easily The Biggest Piece Of Crap This Theater Season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Girls, until now, I have only had two theater experiences I count as the worst.  The first was back in the eighties or nineties and was a musical friends of mine were working on called "Buskers,' about street performers.   In the cast was Tony Azito--I couldn't believe he was in it--and Martin Charnin's daughter, Sasha.  After seeing this show, Charnin bought out his daughter's contract and pulled her out of the production.

                                         Then there was "Sex And Longing," with a script by Christopher Durang, and a star turn by Sigourney Weaver.  I am sure she did this travesty as a favor to Durang, and, having seen it, all I can say is, boy, he owes her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  All I can recall from this mess were actors screaming the titular words.

                                           But now, along comes "Ode To The Wasp Woman," starring of all people, Sean Young. Now will those past the Boomer age even know who she is?  The only movie I ever saw her in was 1991's "A Kiss Before Dying," with Matt Dillon, and while she was pretty enough and read her lines well, she was no Meryl Streep.  And while still retaining some of that prettiness today, she looks bloated and blowzy, which is perfect for her playing the role of actress Susan Cabot, who scored her biggest hit in 1959's "The Wasp Woman," directed by Roger Corman.  I watched it on Monday, and believe me, the movie is better than this play.

                                            One sign of a bad play is when the director is the author.  That is the case here.  The playwright, Rider McDowell, actually had a good idea--he wanted to examine the failures of four Hollywood performers--Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer, Susan Cabot, George Reeves (Yes, "Superman!") and Barbara Payton.  The problem was he did not know how to blend these stories together cohesively.  The piece should have come off like Sondheim's Assassins," but, as a director he was unable to blend things together.  All one gets are vignettes about these actors' tragic endings, and how fame does not solve problems.  Duh.  I know that by now.  Some scenes are distasteful to watch--like when Barbara Payton is suggestively being sexually abused by her father.  Others are so badly lit, especially when the performers are upstage, one can barely see them.  It is like watching a shadow show.

                                                As if this were not enough, each actor gets their own song, but why country and western tunes were chosen is beyond me.  Was the director trying to go Robert Altman, or something? He lacks the talent for such a concept.  Payton Georgiana fares best in the song department, as Barbara Payton, delivering a truly professional rendition of "Help Me Make It Through The Night."

                                                  Sean Young neither adds nor detracts from the production.  She hits her marks, says her lines, but in no way does she stand out.  Anyone could have been cast in her role.

                                                     Let's face it.  If the farthest this play got was The Actors Temple, it has not much of a future.  Don't expect it to move, around the corner, on Broadway!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

                                                       Still, I would recommend it for this sake.  Experiencing art should require those to experience at least one piece of crap in their lives.  This show is just perfect for that!

                                                        With books, it is Shirley Conran's "Lace."  What a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         

                                               

Girls, "You've Gotta Eat Your Spinach, Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                             I mean, to stay healthy, darlings, you really do.

                            Now, for those beyond the Boomer generation, who are generally clueless, the two adults are Jack Haley, who went on to screen immortality in "The Wizard Of Oz," and Alice Faye, a famed chanteuse.  The little girl is America's Depression Darling, Shirley Temple, and, yes, there was a time when I did want to be her, but after what puberty did to her--I mean she was never the same, the day she bought she first brassiere--and those curls, I am not so sure.  I wanted to be longer lasting.

                             But the song keeps going through my head, and I thought I would share it with you.  It is from the 1936 film "Poor Little Rich Girl," and Temple was at her height.  Poor Alice Faye and Jack Haley.  But he did go on to screen immortality.

                                As for Alice, oh, my God, she really was desperate when she acted in 1945's "Fallen Angel," where she played--can you believe it? --Anne Revere's sister, and Linda Darnell shows one to glamorously eat a hamburger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh, hons, I am telling you.

                                Spinach was a lesbian favorite for a while, when Todd Haynes' 2015 film "Carol" was out.

                                  Lesbian or not, Shirley was right, eating spinach is good for you.

                                  It helped even a plain Jane, like Olive Oil, to land Popeye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Here is that iconic screen moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Darlings, I Have Been To "The Island!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

                                                                               

                          Several weekends ago, David and I, with our friends Dan and Norma, took a train ride out to Long Island.  Now, I cannot tell you the last time I was out there, nor would I want to remember it.  I mean, I have my reputation to consider, girls, and if I was to be actually SEEN on Long Island?  It would be a scandal the fashion pages would surely cover!

                            Nevertheless, off we went.  Our first stop was the Nassau County Museum, that pictorial looking mansion, above.  The interior and grounds were exquisite; the latter reminded me of the garden of my Aunt Katie, in Red Bank, New Jersey, when I was a child.  She had only 4 acres of property; this had at least 40, if not more.  We sat and chatted in an exquisite atmosphere.

                           For dinner, we decided to travel, by taxi, to nearby Great Neck, where I once told myself that was where I wanted to live.  I read a novel in 2004 called "Great Neck," by Jay Cantor, which made me mad for this place.  I also knew someone who grew up there, and said if I were to live there 24/7, I would have nothing to do except become an alcoholic.

                            Now the Great Neck Diner was wonderful, the food abundant and good, and the town environs were from another world, another era.  But one I was not unfamiliar with.  Because what the guy from Great Neck said to me was the truth.  Darlings, Long Island is just New Jersey on the other side of the Hudson.  It would have made no difference if I had grown up out there.  Oh, maybe some teachers would have been better, but I think I still might have not been wired for math.  Standing on those streets was for me, going back in time.  When we were finally seated on the train, I could not wait to get back to The City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               As for the Modigliani exhibit, we came to see at the museum, there were some excellent portraits and sketches, but nothing dazzling.  But then, darlings, you have to understand.my standards for museums come from The Metropolitan Museum Of Art.  I doubt Rihanna or ANNA would have even been seen here.

                                  So, girls, no fear, I am not going to be moving to Long Island.  But seeing it was a learning experience for me.

                                    The suburbs were not just Highland Park, New Jersey; they are everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If You Have Arachnophobia, Darlings, I Would Avoid This One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Was this even released in the theaters?  Judging by William Shatner being the only known member of the cast, I would have to say no.  If anyone can tell me otherwise, please do.

                                                This month, "Svengoolie" goes back to his single feature format, and half hour schtick.  I wish he would get rid of the latter; it just does not work.  He is best in small doses.

                                                 "Kingdom Of The Spiders," I have a feeling, will turn out to be a film where the poster is better than the actual product.  From the above, one would expect giant spiders, like in 1955's "Tarantula," or 1958's "Earth Vs. The Spider," which is actually better than the 1955 Universal classic.

                                                    The poster suggests a giant spider, which would be fun; even a whole group of such, like in 1954's "Them."  Unfortunately, I have seen the trailer, and these are individual real spiders, very tarantula-like.  Simply put, it is "The Birds," with spiders, minus any artistry.  Perhaps this will be another "Night Of The Lepus."  Only I don't think so, because giant rabbits were a novelty. Real spiders crawling all over the screen--and the unfortunate actors, as this was way before CGI--are genuinely off-putting, so I don't know how much I will be able to tolerate.  But, girls, I am telling you, one could not pay me enough to work with real spiders, even if CGI.

                                                     But it might be fun to see how Shatner and his group of Unknowns deal with these very real creatures.

                                                       Who will probably end up stealing the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!