Girls, This Talent Has Gone Down The Drain!!!!!!!

Darlings, speaking of books, I read one recently. Not that that is news, because generally I read so much I just cannot report on everything. But something peaked my writer inspiration enough to recount. This is Myla Goldberg's latest, "The False Friend."

Now, who is Myla Goldberg, you might say????? Sounds like a nice Jewish girl, living in Brooklyn??? Well, loves Myla IS a nice, Jewish girl, living in Brooklyn. And over a decade ago, darlings, when the Twin Towers still existed, she was THE literary darling of 2,000, for her stunning novel, "Bee Season," which I chose as one of the Books To Remember for that year, because it was just so brilliant, and seemed to signal the arrival of a new, major talent. A talent that disappointed with her second novel, "Wickett's Remedy," which not even I read, darlings!!!!! But now, with her third novel, "The False Friend," which I have read and will talk about here, the question must be asked---What has happened to Myla Goldberg?????

Talk about losing your way!!!! "The False Friend" is frustrating because it is filled with so many good things that should have propelled it forward. Instead, it comes to a halt, like a stalled car.

The central character, Celia Durst, was once a Suburban Princess, who, with her cronies, preyed upon a more vulnerable girl, named Leanne. One day, when they are ten, something happens--while walking in a forbidden wood, Celia's best friend and bitch crony, Djuana Pearson, vanishes into the woods.....and is never seen again. Memories of her getting into a stranger's brown car haunts the girls. So--we have a gaggle of girl bitches, a bullied girl, and a childhood abduction. This should be fantastic, right?????? But Goldberg does nothing with it.

We meet Celia as a thirty something adult, having PTSD memory flashes of her being responsible for Djuana's disappearance. Allegedly, she saw the child fall into a hole in the woods, and, being they had just had a childish fight, left her there, telling nobody. Hence, no Djuana. As an adult, Celia is haunted, and tries to resolve and clear herself of this guilt, by going to her hometown of Jensenville, and talking to key figures from her past. Again, an interesting premise. But nothing is done with it.

The first question asked is--who is/was The False Friend of the title???? By the time I finished the book, I still did not know!!!! Do we ever concretely find out about Djuana????? No!!!!!! Goldberg seems to want the reader to form their own conclusions, but then the very last page begs differently. I closed the book in exasperation???? "What the hell are you up to, Myla???" I don;t think she knows.

Added to this, except for her ex-junkie brother Jeremy, Celia and her parents come off as so bland. Like mayonaise on white bread. Goldberg wants us SO MUCH to sympathize with Celia, but let me tell you something, girls--when you get to Chapter 20, where Celia confronts Leanne's brother (because Leanne, though an adult, will not even see her) all sympathy goes out the door. I hated Celia from that point on!!!! Too bad she wasn't kidnapped!!!!!!

Another question that must be asked--if you accept the abduction of Djuana, how could a girl who, at ten, came off as so saavy, be lured into a car. Honey, I knew not to do this by the time I began kindergarten!!!!! This is an astute fifth grader????? What is wong here??????

And why are girls so vicious???? Believe me, from my personal experiences, I was hoping Goldberg would examine this question. The girls are still prepuibescent, so you cannot fault hormones this time. But Goldberg's failure to answer this question is in line with everything else about the book--it presents, but does not explain or examine.

It is fine if the author wants the reader to do some work of their own. But only if said author is willing to work with the reader. In the end, Myla comes off as much of a bitch as Celia--she throws out interesting tidbits, and then says, so to speak, "Here; you figure this out!!!!!"


Keep writing like this, Myla, darling, and you will not even be a blip on the literary radar!!!!!!!!!

Blip YOU, Myla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!