Can You Imagine Anything More Disgusting, Darlings????????????????????

                        I absolutely cannot stand that disgusting Triscuit commercial, with Martha Stewart!!!!!!  Every time it is aired, I just want to slap that phony bitch across the face.

                          And she is so phony. Let's start with the way the whole thing is photographed--in glowing Technicolor, suggesting someone studied Vincente Minnelli's artistic palette.  As though Martha and her surroundings look as fresh as an MGM movie musical.  If you believe that, kiddies, then I have a big sink hole to sell you.  Two, actually.  They are called Florida, and Staten Island!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Martha never looked this good, in her life!

                            The very idea of the contest--creative cuisine design on a Triscuit!!!!!--is distinctly Middle Class!!!!!!!!!!!!  From what I have heard, only two people have actually entered the contest!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Of course, having a recipe selected for note is an honor, of sorts. But the carrot she his dangling out at people is a chance to come to New York, and meet with her.

                                 Anyone who believes  this deserves what they get.  The meeting will certainly not be in bucolic surroundings, like above. It will probably be a five minute encounter, no better than a quickie with a prostitute in some hotel tryst, that will take place in a hotel lobby, where Martha grabs the prize winner, and dumps it, quickly shakes hands, and gives the winner whatever cash or trinket is being offered, and then goes on her selfish way.  Anyone expecting an all-paid sit down, leisurely lunch with Martha, where you get to girl talk, had better get that idea out of their sad illusions, or else they will end up like Blanche Du Bois!!!!!!!!!

                                  Now, I would prefer to meet with Cathy Mitchell. She is more genuine, and I bet I would get a free dump meal out of it.  As well an an all-expense paid GI series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Wouldn't that be better than Martha, darlings???????????????