How I Might Stage "King Lear," Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                         I just cannot get "King Lear" out of my head, girls, having just seen it several nights before!  As I watched, I pondered on how I might stage this masterwork, and came up with several ideas.

                         The text would be done in its entirety, of course, with a few additions thrown in.  Such as:

                          1. A Prologue--The doors open, and out step Goneril's and Regan;'s husbands, looking like loutish brutes, but cowered by their wives.  They stand off to each side, mutely, while the orchestra strikes up, and out come the two daughters, in shimmering gowns, singing "We're Just Two Little Girls From Little Rock."

                          2.  Once the actual play begins, they change costumes--they dress throughout in black body stockings, with death white faces and coal black eyes and blood red lips, suggesting they are harbingers of Death.  And when they move on stage, they slither like snakes.  And their speeches come out like hisses of snakes!

                          3.  When the King is dividing up his estate, and comes to Cordelia, the actress playing this role throws off her gown, revealing fishnets, top hat and tails, and breaks into a jazzy number and dance to "I've Got Your Number" from "Little  Me," before being hauled off.

                           4.  Upon quarreling over Edmund, whom both are sleeping with, Goneril and Regan perform "A Boy Like That," from "West Side Story!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           5.  When things finally come crashing down on them, Goneril and Regan do a duet version of "If He Walked Into My Life," suggesting they, from their viewpoint, treated their father well.  At the end of the number, Regan and Goneril simultaneously die on stage--Regan, from a poisoned cup she drinks out of, Goneril, from a knife wound that Regan engineers, making it appear Goneril stabs herself.

                           6.    Upon the deaths of Lear and Cordelia, their spirits rise, and Cordelia sings  that portion of "Les Miz," where Fantine directs Valjean to his Heavenly reward!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Everything else stays the same!  Resulting in a heightened 'Lear," throwing things to Goneril and Regan, while highlighting their monstrosities.  

                              Maybe I missed my calling, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!