Well. Here We Are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                   Happy Halloween, darlings!   Whether it is Jamie Lee Curits knocking on doors for help, being pursued by deranged killer Michael Myers, or Margaret O'Brien, as Tootie Smith, fleeing from Mr. Braukoff in "Meet Me In St. Louis," I hope you celebrate Halloween in whatever way floats your boat!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      As for me, dears, you know how much I love those evil nuns!  And want to play one!  I may get that chance, yet--who knows?

                       So, tonight after dinner--having wanted to watch this for along time--my beloved and I are going to watch "Asylum" of "American Horror Story," with Jessica Lange and Lily Rabe playing two of the most diabolical nuns seen on screen for a long time!

                        I even have a feeling, out in Glendale, Long Island, at the Sisters Of Mercy, Sister Camille D'Arienzo, and the girls, will do the same thing--kick back, and howl in laughter over this nun depiction!  More original than "The Trouble With Angles, " darlings!  Though, don't forget, we LOVE Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       And this is also it for October.  Can you believe it--just a few weeks ago I was experiencing High Dental Anxiety, and now, here I am, with just eighteen days left to go, in my Fifties?????????

                        Once my birthday--November 18--kicks in, the year begins to wind down--Thanksgiving, the Holidays, then poof!  another year gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         So, Happy Halloween, dolls, and let's enjoy it, while we can!

                         I so wanted to include Margaret O'Brien in the classic Halloween sequence from "Meet Me In St. Louis!"  That scene won her that Special Juvenile Oscar, darlings!

                        Alas, I was unable to find it, so here are Jessica Lange and Lily Rabe as those evil nuns from "American Horror Story!"

                         From our house, to yours, on Halloween!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deconstruction #9--Barbara Cook Singing "No More Candy" In "She Loves Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                I know, girls, it seems like months since I have done a deconstruction, but with all the drama this month, plus other events, both past and upcoming, it has been hard to stay on track.  I know some of you out there were wondering, when, if ever, there would be another?  And some of you Theater Queens who read this have probably been grumbling about when I am going to include something with Barbara Cook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Well, loves, prayers do get answered--on here!

                                 But here's the thing--"No More Candy" is hardly a stand out in the Bock-Harnick score of this show.  You could almost call it a non-sequitir, but it is important in two very special ways--it is the first time Amalia is heard to sing, and, it introduces Barbara Cook's voice.

                                  Seldom has such a song introduced a singer's voice so impressively.  Start with how the voice seamlessly blends with the music of the music box.   Then, listen to the lyrical way in which Miss Cook holds her vowels-- "We becooooooooome indiscreeeeeeeeeeet, eating sweeeeeeeeeet after sweeeeeeeeeet....." --in order to remarkably demonstrate not only superb vocal technique but one of the most gorgeous soprano voices of the day.  Bock and Harnick knew exactly what they were doing.

                                  But it is the ending that takes one's breath away.  And leaves one feeling inside a church, in the presence of something holy, having just heard the holiest of sounds.  Amalia finishes the song with the words, "And it sings in you ear, no more candy, my dear/In a way, it's a little like the vooooooooooice......ooooooooof.....Goooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!"  What she does with those last three words is so achingly exquisite it just takes one's breath away, which is why this song stands out for me as much as its more standard fare--"Will He Like Me?' "Dear Friend," and, of course, "Ice Cream."

                                  Now, I was not able to find "No More Candy" for you, but here is the exquisite Miss Cook singing "Dear Friend," a song all  Romantics and Theater Queens can appreciate and relate to! The same vocal technique is lyricism is here from Barbara, and just listen to that poignant introduction!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Enjoy, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These Two Bitches Were Justifiably Done In By Their Homicidal Daughters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 You all remember the Season 9 opener of 'SVU,' darlings, entitled "Alternate."  This was the episode, where Cynthia Nixon, going for the Emmy gold, in a redux of both "Primal Fear" and "Sybil," plays Janis Donovan, a person allegedly with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and faked several personalities.  My personal favorite was Dory, who dressed in tight, clingy clothes, short shorts, had girlish braids, and visited Kathy Stabler at her home, where the two girls sat down, had coffee, and Kathy had to listen to how hot Dory thinks Elliot is.  Not that Kathy has not heard this before; hell, even Isabel Gilles, who played Kathy, had to hear it from folks on the street!

                                  The whole thing turns out to be a charade, so Janis and her sister, Cass, once she is out of jail on a minor charge, can proceed to the home of their parents, Francis and Molly Donovan, and murder them.  They had good reason to.

                                   Francis and Molly, though fictional, are, jointly, the winners of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award. These were two who never should have had children, but did, and what they did to their daughters--like beatings, and making them drink hot sauce, kneeling on kernels of rice--the standard abuse crap. The worst of the two, I think, was Molly; instead of protecting her daughters, she either watched, abused them herself, or held them down, for her husband.   By 16, Janis leaves home, but feels guilty about Cass, who, eventually, leaves, too becoming a messed up drug addict.

                                   The Donovan girls are pretty messed up, anyway, and should not have children.  Does Cass have a daughter?  I am not sure.  They say abusers were once abused, so I would like to have known the Donovans' back story.  Interesting how two abusive personalities can be attracted to one another, and coalesce.

                                     But they were abusive bitches, and deserved what they got!  It was sad for Cass having to go to jail at the end, but, with Janis screaming to get her out on Battered Child Syndrome, and the parents, in their cameo shot, shown dead, even in prison, Cass is better off.

                                       And the Donovans, this week's winners, can go burn in HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....But The Hayley I Most Wanted To Be Was When She Played Nikky Ferris In "The Moon-Spinners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            "The Moon-Spinners," darlings, is so unusual for Disney of this period--1964, right before "Mary Poppins"-- that I cannot believe it has not become one of the ultimate gay movies.  And it is so adult, based on a mystery novel by Mary Stewart!!!!!!!!!!!

                               It has the aforementioned Hayley Mills, whom so many of us wanted to be, darlings, but I especially to be her here, because this is a kind of a breakout appearance, where she dresses as a young woman in some sophisticated outfits, that hair is perfect, she is working with Eli Wallach (playing a Greek jewel thief in almost a foreshadowing of his iconic performance in "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly") and Pola Negri (complete with leopard!!!!!!!!!).  I cannot believe I was so young I did not know who Pola Negri was when I first saw this film!  But my mother knew!

                              However, the reason I loved this movie were the three windmills shown during the opening credits, where, at night by the moon, maidens were said to spin their flaxen.  Isn't that just so romantic?  As was the isle of Crete, the wine, and the food!  And I could have been tutored in Greek!
And don't forget the title song!

                               But the reason I most wanted to be Hayley in this film is that I wanted to take that ride, hanging on to the windmill, screaming my head off, but looking as perfectly groomed as Hayley did.  This is my favorite moment in the film, and a crowning moment in Hayley's career!!!!!!!!!!!

                                And remember, girls, even though she is now 68, Hayley Mills is still a virgin.
When one is Hayley Mills, what else can one be?

                                   Just like yours truly, dolls!!!!!!!!!!  And no hate mail, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, You All Know I Wanted To Be Hayley Mills.....................

                          I just love this shot of Hayley  in "Pollyanna."  Wouldn't it be nice if I could go back to those carefree days of my innocence, having the same picture taken, with my beloved Cujo??????

                            You know, I think it is high time Hayley got her due, so I am proposing to anyone out there, hopefully someone at the Film Forum, that in the coming year, there be a Hayley Mills Film Festival.  It would show all of her Disney work, and then a few extras.  Consider--

                             1. "Tiger Bay" (1958)--her film debut!
                             2. "Pollyanna"--the first film for Disney, for which she won a Special Juvenile Oscar, the last ever given out.
                            3. "The Parent Trap" (1961)--where she made a Top Ten hit  out of "Let's Get Together," though I preferred the B Side, "Cobbler, Cobbler."
                             4. "Whistle Down The Wind" (1961)--where Hayley and some children think they have found Jesus Christ hiding out in a barn! Definitely not Disney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                             5. "In Search Of The Castaways"--adapted from Jules Verne, with Maurice Chevalier and George Sanders. You have GOT to see the avalanche sequence, girls!  And how Hayley handles it!!!!!!!!!!!  Only from Disney!
                              6. "Summer Magic" (1963)--Oh, my God!  Burl Ives, and "The Ugly Bug Ball!"

You just gotta hear it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Disney, of course!

                               7.  "The Chalk Garden" (1964)--where Hayley goes for the drama gold, acting in an Enid Bagnold  play adaptation!!!!!!!!!!!!!  With her own father, Deborah Kerr and Edith Evans!!!!!!!!!!!  Taking a Disney break!
                                8. "The Moon-Spinners" (1964)--where Hayley goes totally sophisticated, girls!!!!!!!!!   I will have more to say on this!!!!!!!!!!  Even my mother saw this one! An adult departure for Walt Disney!!!!!!!!!!
                                9. "That Darn Cat" (1965)--Hayley's last film for Disney, and loved by all! Better than that Cristina Ricci remake!!  No offense, Cristina, but you should have kept your paws off it! No one competes with Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And, Of Course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                              10. "The Trouble With Angels"--where Mother Superior Rosalind Russell matches wits, with, but can't steal scenes from, Hayley and June Harding!  What ever happened to Harding?
Who cares? Hayley is the one to watch, and wait to you see that ending!  If "The Song Of Bernadette" makes you cry, this may, too.

                                   Ten films!!!!!!!!!!  That's more than some get!  I say, let's get busy and
watch some Hayley Mills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    "Summer Magic!"  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is Little Debbie Actually A Lesbian??????????????????

                                     You have to wonder, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not  that I have tried any of the Little Debbie products; they always seemed too distinctly Middle Class for me, girls!!!!!!!!!!!  But, last Friday, while food shopping with my beloved, I came face to face with Little Debbie, whose products were on my eye level, and I was struck at how butch she actually looked!

                                         Not since Sis and Butch in my edition of "Go To The Head Of The Class" board game (by Milton Bradley, of course!!!!!!!!!!!) have I seen such butch-ness.  They also had freckles on their cheeks, which gave them a decidedly butch appearance.  Little Debbie, to compensate, has that cowboy hat, and that slant-eyed, slatternly look on her face.  She is up to something, even if that includes rug munching!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Now, dolls, I don't want to give you all nightmares--especially this early in the day.  But the issue must be faced.  Little Debbie has a decidedly Sapphic look, which makes me wonder if she is actually from Staten Island!!!!!!!!!  I hear a lot goes on, over there!

                                             You all remember the comic book character, Nancy, by Ernie Bushmiller.  Now, she definitely was!!!!!!!!!   A lesbian, I mean!  I can picture she and Little Debbie hanging out at the Cubby Hole, or maybe the Clit Club!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I have never seen anyone buying Little Debbie products, which makes me wonder if lesbians are the key purchasers!!!!!!!!!  A statistical study should be made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                That Little Debbie!  Fresh!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Fresh, indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 She should be made to stand in the corner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  I am telling you, she's a Dyke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

39 Years Ago Today........To This Very Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           I know it is not forty years, darlings, but it is the very day...Saturday, October 25.  On this day, I was getting ready to see the sensation of the hour, Michael Bennett's then new musical, "A Chorus Line."  What I did not know was the outcome of that experience would impact and resonate throughout the rest of my life.

                              This would be a day to go back in time to.  Seeing the Original Cast, with the awareness and knowledge I have now.  I can't think of any theater experience I have had which topped it, though my initial viewing of "Sweeney Todd" came close.

                                 To share that momentous day with you all, here is an idea of what it must have been like. This is the Original Cast performing the celebrated opening number on the night it swept the TONY Awards.  To see this, initially, without knowing what to expect, was, literally mind blowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It changed my life, darlings!  And here I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go Play With Your Planchette, Dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        After seeing a piece of crap like "Ouija," one realizes even more what a masterpiece the original "Friday The 13th" was.  The actors in this mess, like those in any of the "Final Destination"movies, are going nowhere after being seen here, and Lin Shaye, from "Insidious," (which I did not see) is the brightest spot in this film, but not enough for it to jump start her career.
This film will come and go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          And why not?  It is so predictable, especially to those of us who know the genre. Two little girls are seeing, in a darkened room, playing with a Ouija board, while it is raining outside.
Cliched, but it works.  Ten years later, one of the girls, Debbie, as a teen, tries to burn the board, but it returns, then she takes down the string of Christmas lights decorating her mirror, and hangs herself with them!!!!!!!!  A promising beginning, but guess what?  The movie goes downhill from here.

                           It is almost paint-by-numbers, as Debbie's friends try to find out what happened, with some of them also dying along the way.  The same old corn--a disturbed family who once lived in the house, and one of the daughters was murdered; a mysterious woman in an insane asylum turns out to be the key to the whole thing, and a surprise jolt at the end, as the heroine looks into the planchette.  I badly needed a cup of coffee after this one, and I made sure I got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           I have owned Ouija boards over the years, but even this movie made me think it is time to rethink the notion of buying another one.  Also, I never heard of these "rules"--not to play it alone, nor in a graveyard (that, to me is just common sense) and circling the board for every person playing.  When I did it, we just circled it, saying, out loud, "Ouija Board, Ouija Board....asking the question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Not only was this made-up crap, but badly made-up at that!

                            Next year, I want to see a film where people are attacked by giant, moving Tarot Cards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, You Have GOT To See This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       I am talking, of course, about the controversial, so-called feminist video, where little girls, dressed as Princesses, are out to combat sexism in society, the workplace and elsewhere. This is all to the good, except that the F-word expletive is used so much by ones so young, instead of titling this, as I have "The Potty Mouthed Princesses," you could call it "Bugsy Malone Meets David Mamet!!!!!!"

                      I mean, not since "Glengarry Glen Ross," have I heard the word "fuck" used so many times.  Plus these girls use words like "rape," and "sexual assault."  Do they even know what they are saying?  Then there is this disturbing segment where one says "One of out of five women will be sexually assaulted," after which they count off, and one says, "Which one of us will it be?"  Chilling!!!!!!!!!

                      Two adult women also appear--a black woman, and another who sure looks like Melissa McCarthy!!!!!!!!!!  Are these the filmmakers?  Don't they realize the mixed message this presentation is sending?

                        The ideas are great, and commendable. But why use the F-word to get the point across, when you don't need it?  Simply for controversy, and to get attention!  And having the girls dress up as Jon Benet Ramsseys, once again sexualizing children, while telling those out there not to demean girls, is just bad conceptualizing.  What were these filmmakers and writers thinking??????????

                          But see for yourselves, darlings! How can something so intrinsically right be so intrinsically wrong???????????????

Darlings, What Is It With That Tossed Salads, And Scrambled Eggs???????????????????????

                                   Yes, dears, I have eaten them.

                                     However, I was never an admirer of "Frasier."  In particular, I did not admire its star, Kelsey Grammer.  I never thought, as an actor, he was worthy of carrying a series.  In one way, I was wrong, because look how ling the show and he lasted, becoming now a part of TV comedy history.  On the other hand, though, the producers wisely surrounded him with actors--John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, David Hyde Pierce, Peri Gilpin, Dan Butler, and Edward Hibbert--who could act the bejesus off Grammer.  They were better than him, and they made the show.  Frasier, though the title character, was to this show, what Bobby was to the musical "Company"--the lead character, though everyone around him was more interesting.

                                      What I loved most about Frasier was its closing song, "Tossed Salads And Scrambled Eggs."  I used to tune in to the end, just to hear the song.  I was always curious as to who actually sang this, because it was so talented.  When I actually found out, and came to accept, that it was Kelsey Grammer himself, I thought, why doesn't he do more offbeat stuff like this, instead of playing a stuffed shirt like Frasier?  Playing that stuffed shirt paid dividends for years, but what are you doing now, Kelsey???????
You are slowly fading  into obscurity, especially after that disastrous one-night "Macbeth" on Broadway.  Why don't you listen to that closing song, and think about how it can jump start your career again!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Every so often, that song races through my head, which is why I am writing this post!  They're calling again, darlings!

                                         So, listen to how talented Kelsey is, and what he could do with that talent!

                                          Quite stylish, girls!!!!!!!!!  Just like yours truly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Am Telling You, Girls, It All Started With That Barry And Claudette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          So much fun was had last night, darlings, at last night's screening of the one, the only, the original, 1980 "Friday The 13th," at Chelsea Classics, with Hedda Lettuce.  I am telling you, as soon as Barry and Claudette appeared on screen, you could hear the audience hissing, especially at Claudette, the slut!!!!!!  She just wanted to get Barry into that shed so she could prove she kissed better than Mary Ann!!!!!!!!!!
Now, Mary Ann is never shown, but we don't see her shagging around with that Barry, getting herself killed, do we?  That is because Mary Ann, though she kisses, is a good girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But having sex doesn't make Barry and Claudette eligible victims.  Their murders, which happened at Camp Crystal Lake back in 1958, (just think, if alive now, they would be in their early Seventies!!!!!!!) were the result of their negligence the year before.  They were supposed to be watching Pamela Voorhees' (the cook) son, physically and mentally challenged, Jason.  But their loins flared, and, in the heat of things, Jason sneaked  off, went into the lake, and drowned.  Of course, Pamela was grief stricken, and I am sure all felt for her.  But the Christys, who ran the camp, made one serious mistake--they invited Barry and Claudette back, the following year!!!!!!!  I wouldn't have!  Not only was this a slap in the face to Pamela, as their presence further triggered her grief, it  dissed her son Jason, which fueled her rage, leading Pamela to take the actions she did.   I hope that just before Claudette succumbed, Pamela slapped her across the face, like she later does with Alice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              When Claudette is finally backed up against that wall, arms splayed, and screaming, as the logo of "Friday The 13th" comes onscreen with the sound and image of shattering glass, the crowd went wild!  You could hear the cheers all the way up to Washington Heights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Before going any further, I am  surprised this film has not been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church, or, if it is still around, the Catholic Legion Of Decency!!!!!!!!!  Because this film is the greatest argument for young people not to have sex that I am surprised the Church has not used it in parochial school classes!!!!!!!!!  Mrs. Voorhees is one step short of an avenging nun; seen in the present, she almost foreshadows Jessica Lange as Sister Jude in "American Horror Story!"

                                 Though I have seen this film at least half a dozen times, I had forgotten the tracking shot of the killer going through the cabins of the small children being cared for, at camp, looking at them.  In retrospect, this was clearly done to show Mrs. Voorhees would never harm them.  They were prepubescent, non-sexual, and reminded her of her son, Jason.  They were the ones she was trying to save, in her world view!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Showing this is sheer genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 So much of this film is iconic.  Annie's walk through Blairstown; the woman sitting at the store fountain with that weird striped dress and glasses, making one wonder if she is Mrs. Voorhees, or what, because she looks more to be from some Fifties sci-fi movie!!!!!!!!!!! (I would love to know the name of the woman who played this role; she says "Camp Blood!  They're opening that place again?"  If any of you girls out there know the answer, please alert me!!!!!!)  Don't forget that shot of the Moravian Cemetery in Hope, New Jersey!!!!!!!  Darlings, I have stood in all these places, and, let me tell you, things look the same now, as they did, 30 plus years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Then, there is Jeannine Taylor, as Marcie Cunningham.  Straight guys are hot for her; gay men want to be her.  Not to mention Kevin Bacon, sporting a healthy boner through his blue Speedos!!!!!!!!!!!!  And Marcie's Katherine Hepburn speech, in pink T-shirt and white panties!!!!!!!!!!
And Brenda getting killed, off screen, in the rain.  And Sally Anne Golden, as Sandy, the waitress in the Blairstown  Diner, where I have eaten, darlings, who just wants a night on the town with Steve!!!!!!!!!  Not  to mention Walt Gorney's  brilliant performance as Crazy Ralph!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      "Friday The 13th" has actually improved over time.  Its structural brilliance--a reverse of "Psycho," with the son dead, but the mother alive, was ingenious.  But Time, unfortunately, has taken from us, five of the film's cast members--

                                          Willie Adams--Barry--supposedly killed in a car accident, several years after  making the film!!!!!!!!!

                                            Laurie Bartram--Brenda--So beautiful--who died in 2007, of pancreatic cancer at only 49, leaving a husband and five children!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Rex Everhart--Actually an all-around Broadway actor, whom I have seen in several things over the years.  He played Enos , the truck driver who drives Annie, and gets away with patting her ass, helping her into the truck!!!!!!!!!  He died in 2,000, at the age of 79, of lung cancer!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Sally Anne Golden--Sandy, The Waitress--who died, at 72, back in 1982.  She was the oldest actor to appear in the film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wonder if she ever got that night on the town, with Steve??????????????

                                                 Walt Gorney--Whose brilliant turn as Crazy Ralph came close to stealing the picture from Betsy Palmer!!!!!!!!!!!  He died, at 91, after a long illness--hell, he was 91!!!!!!!!!--at St. Vincent's Hospital, in New York City!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Rest In Peace, all!  You are loved forever!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Now, on to cheerier things.  When a certain green jeep pulls up to Alice's cabin, and Betsy Palmer steps out into the open, in that white, fisherman's sweater, well, the screaming and clapping rivaled the first time Donna McKechnie did "The Music And The Mirror," in "A Chorus Line," down at the Public, back in 1975!!!!!!!!!!!!  For the next 13 minutes, (her total amount of screen time) there is no doubt, in anyone's mind, about whom this film belongs to!!!!!!!!!!!  You better believe the audience was doing all the sounds---"Ki-Ki-Ki-Ki-Ki!  Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma!" and "Kill her, Mommy!  Kill her!," but my favorite Betsy moment is when Mrs. Voorhees, still trying to calm Alice, throws back her head, smiling that toothy grin, and laughingly says, "I'M not afraid!"

                                                     Who knew Betsy Palmer had such iconic teeth?  Who knew rural Jersey had such good dental coverage????????  Much of her performance is played through her mouth and her teeth; an ingenious move, on the filmmakers' part!  I don't think I have ever seen a film where an actor plays their role through their teeth!  But Betsy is brilliant, teeth and all!  And I just love it, when she slaps Alice, silly!

                                                      Of course, the audience screams, when she loses her head!  You almost have to!  The look on Mrs. Voorhees' face, as she realizes what is about to happen, is priceless, showing Betsy's greatness, as an actress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Yes, darlings, New Jersey has three things to be proud of!  It gave birth to Meryl Streep, and "Friday The 13th!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                          Not to mention The Raving Queen!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           "Kill her, Mommy! Kill her!"

This Episode Was A Bodice Ripper, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             In older days, when glimpses of stocking still shocked, as Cole Porter once said, cheap romantic novels, featuring highly imperilled women, were called "bodice rippers."  "Pornstar's Requiem," this past Wednesday's episode of 'SVU,' would qualify as such, since it involves both the porn victim, and ripping  the victim, Evie Barnes (a remarkable performance by Hannah Marks) of everything, including her dignity.

                             I have to confess, as I was watching, I didn't know where the writers were going with this.  All the 'SVU" episodes claim to be "ripped from the headlines," but what the hell was this based on??????   Well, as I probed on the Internet afterward, I found out.  Type, and ye shall find, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Back in March, a young college (Duke University, to be exact!!!!!!) coed named Marie Weeks was outed by a student as being porn performer Belle Knox.  She came clean  about what she was doing, admitting it was a choice she made, due to the astronomical costs of higher education; she has a point, there.  But she was raped, and degraded by every male fiend out there, who, via online, phone, or even good old fashioned snail mail, had no qualms about verbalizing their fantasies to her.  After all, she is a porn star!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              The episode essentially followed the same trajectory.  Evie is a good girl, who makes a particular choice, which still makes her a good girl.  Two students, Daniel Pryor (Max Ehrich) and Justin Adams, (Harry Zittel) discover "Roxxxanna De May--Evie's screen persona--online, and, suddenly, this girl, who, off the set dresses so plainly they would never give her the time of day, is suddenly the object of their revved up sexual desires.  They invite her to a party, where they lure her into a bathroom, have sex with her, and film it!  After all, she is a porn star, right????????????

                               There is so much wrong with this.  Let's start the fact that she said no.  And no means "NO!"  Second, what is it with everyone wanting to film themselves having sex????????  Has privacy and intimacy gone out the window, thanks to our technological age?  This was one of many issues this episode tried to cover, as Evie transforms from mousy victim, into crusading sexual rights activist, losing everything--her college education, the support of her parents, who were so inhumane to their daughter, I almost made both of them Bitch Of The Week, and, ultimately, as she feels, the option of doing anything else, except what she knows best--porn!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Which is where Rollins and Carisi (Peter Scanavino, cuter and better than Danny Pino, who, I hope is on his way out!!!!!!!!!!!) find her.   But it is how they get there that is interesting, because, for a minute, I thought they were bringing in at least an aspect of the Tyler Clementi story..  Evie's mother (Lisa Barnes, played by Emily Donahoe, who looks like she could be the daughter of Eleanor Donahue!!!!!!!!!!) shows up, finally evidencing some concern for her daughter, who has dropped out of  sight, leaving what amounts to a suicide note on her computer!!!!!!!!!!!!  I thought she was going to commit suicide, but when Olivia asks the mother about a favorite place, and the mother mentions New England, they know she has gone back to porn, because, as Tutuola says, it's where professional porn filmmakers can still film sex, without a condom.  I don't know how accurate that is, but it raises another issue.

                                   Doesn't Evie care that she could contract HIV???????  And what about the fact--and it IS a fact--that, eventually, she will age out of the industry?????????  Then, what is she going to do??????????

                                 The episode ends with Evie defending her choice, scoring two points.  Now, everyone can watch, and, when someone on set calls "Stop!" it is respected!

                                   Now, girls, I know what you are thinking.  Why didn't Evie just go for a scholarship, or take out student loans?????????  I guess with porn, she could be debt free, because she made enough money from it to cover costs, and some student loan debt can be lifetime lasting.  I certainly don't advocate anyone doing sex work, but it is a choice, and people need to realize, just like in mainstream films, what one sees on the screen does not necessarily represent that person off screen.  On these counts, the episode scored.

                                    But that judge, Oscar Briggs (wonderfully played by Richard T. Jones!!!!!!!!), setting aside the jury;'s verdict, due to a combination of the Double Standard, or being paid off by the defendants' parents or school, made me want to put my fist through the screen. It also made me aware of how lenient a sentence the defendants in Tyler Clementi's case got, though I hope, on some level, they are haunted forever.  But these boys, like Ravi and Wei, weer so venal, I am not at all sure they will be haunted.  This served as a stimulating plot device, because I cannot imagine any judge getting away with such a thing in real life.  And, girls, IF a jury's verdict CAN be set aside, what, then, is the good of our justice system????????????

                                      This episode offered so much food for thought, but what about Baby Noah??????? A picture of him in Olivia's office is used to represent he is till around--but is he??????????--and Olivia says he is fine, and at home.  Alone?  Doing what, trigonometry?????????

                                       Once more Olivia simply cannot keep a kid.  But it was so nice, for a change to have this be a thought provoking 'SVU' segment, and not "The Olivia Benson Show."

                                          When the writers make the show Olivia's, maybe it is because they see themselves in an alternate universe, writing "My Little Margie!"

                                             Make sure you walk onto the right set, now, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Misty Upham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Misty Upham may not have been on the literal fast track in Hollywood, but she was an actress whose career was on the rise.  She worked with Melissa Leo in "Frozen River" (2008), to great acclaim, and last year, she achieved The Actor's Dream by working, and having major scenes with, The Divine MERYL--Meryl Streep in the largely unsatisfying film version of "August:Osage County."  Since it was directed by some hack, John Wells, and one of the central roles cast with that bitch, Julia Roberts, even with MERYL the film was sure to be ruined.

                                      In light of what happened to Misty, it is doubly bad the film was ruined. Had the film ended correctly, MERYL and Misty, for film history, would be locked in embrace, with the play's poetic ending captured on film. But, no, Wells and his toadies had to cave in to Miss Julia, and give her the final shot--along a highway of passing cars.  Too bad one of them didn't run her over!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Misty struggled with mental illness--depression and bipolar disorder.  You'd never know it, from her work on film.  When she went missing, on October 5, alarms went out. And when, on October16, her body was found, at the bottom of a ravine, near Seattle, well.....the jury is still out on whether or not it was foul play or suicide, (I favor the latter!!!!!!) but what was clear, certainly to Misty's family and friends, and those, such as I, who witnessed her work, was that a promising talent has been lost to us.

                                        Gracious to a fault, the Divine MERYL made clear her sadness at this loss.

                                        Achieving dreams was not enough for Misty; clearly something went wrong.

                                        Society needs to be more tolerant and vigilant towards the mentally ill!!!!!!!!

                                         Rest In Peace, Misty, and may you actually now BE at peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beth Macintyre Is A Fabulous Bitch, Girls, But A Cautionary One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             A revisit to "Black Swan," the 2010 Darren Aronofsky film that won Natalie Portman her Best Actress Oscar, reveals it may not be the Ultimate Bitch Movie, (that distinction belongs to "Valley Of The Dolls;" how could it  not????????) but there are plenty of bitches in this film, which aspires to be so much more than what it is--thanks to Aronofsky's dazzling visual tricks which turn into an art film into something that might have been more entertaining, had it stepped down to the campy level of, say "The Turning Point."

                              The most important thing I learned from "Black Swan" on a second viewing is that if your mother is Barbara Hershey, there will be issues.  Erica Sayers is an ex-dancer wannabe, who pushes her daughter into the world she so desperately wanted.  Sometimes there are positive results from this, as witness Kelly Bishop's now iconic transformation into Sheila Bryant in "A Chorus Line."  The trouble with Erica is., mentally, she still thinks she is Moira Shearer in "The Red Shoes," when she never was in the first place.  So, it is no wonder she does the kind of number that is going to mess her daughter, Nina up, whether she gets the lead, or not.

                                 Thomas Leroy, the director, recognizes in Nina a budding Eve Harrington, which she is brought to, in the famous scene where she loses herself, and loses it, pushing at her reflection in the mirror, and screaming, "It's my turn!"  Nina is on her way to first class bitchery, but she cannot upstage the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.

                                   The prize goes to Winona Ryder, as Beth Macintyre.  Beth was once the star of the company, but she has aged out, and this Swan Queen is not about to give up her throne.

                                     Hons, I know how Beth feels.  And I love her best bitch moments, when she confronts Nina at the party, calling her "You fucking little whore," and when she tells of Thomas in front of everyone.  This is the kind of bitch we love; one who stands up for herself, and seems resilient.

                                        And how about that haunting moment when the two swans pass each other
in the stage alley?  One on the way out, the other in!!!!!!!!


                                       Alas, Beth (though said to be based on Gelsey Kirkland) is a fictitious bitch,which means she is a construct by the writer and director.  Instead of empowering Beth, they make her implode into herself, getting hit by a car (was it intentional or not?) and hospitalized, where she may or may not attempt suicide with a nail file.  The last thing we see is Nina visiting her. where Beth says, "I'm not prefect. I am nothing!"

                                         Girls, this is why I say Nina is a cautionary bitch!  I think the filmmakers want to say, don't behave this way, or you will end up like this.  I say Beth needed a dose of Bitch Medicine--maybe some more drinks--and should have exited or a regal note, like Ann Blyth, as Veda, who, on being hauled off to prison, sticks up her nose, and says, "Don't worry about me, Mother; I'll get by," at the close of "Mildred Pierce."    And we know she will.  Then there is Patty McCormack, going, unrepentant, to her death by lightning, at the close of "The Bad Seed."

                                           Beth's moral, girls, is if you are going to be a bitch, be one!  Don't cave in on yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              We love you, Beth!!!!!!!!!!  But we miss all you could have been!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 And no one replaces yours truly!!!!!!!!!!!!   The Raving Queen is always ready for battle!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   But all this can be energy draining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Which is why it is said, "Choose your battles well," girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, My God, Girls!!!!!!!!!! Fashion!!!!!!!!!!!!! What Is There Left To Wear??????????????????

                                 I was so stricken by the radio announcement of the death of designer Oscar De La Renta that I ran to my closet, and threw open the door, to see if I had any of his creations in my closet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Alas, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 How could I have been so shortsighted?????????  First, I did not know Oscar was anywhere near 82; I thought him in his Seventies, with some time left to create, and me to buy.

                                   Understand, when I go clothes shopping, it is a major undertaking. Something has to grab me--colors, patterns, fabrics--and then, I have to look at the all-important designer label. If, in my head, I hear the designer's voice, saying "Look what I have created for you!," then I know to buy it.  Yes, darlings, the designers actually speak to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     But Oscar never did.  A pity.  What I could have done for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I am sure Anna and Grace are devastated!   As well as the fashion world, and my girls everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Just look at these creations, darlings!!!!!!!!!  Aren't they stunning??????? Oscar designed them all!!!!!!!!!!!  I like the pink one, second from the left, and the red patterned pants suit, on the end, myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Rest In Peace, Oscar!  Heaven has never looked so good, till now!!!!!!!!

                                      Remember, Edith Head may have given good costume, but Oscar DESIGNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, If The Authors Of "Weird New Jersey" Did Not Cover Greystone, They Did Not Know Jack About The State They Were Covering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        When I was a child, and my parents would try (as if they could, darlings!!!!!!!!!!) to scare me, they would threaten to send me to someplace called Greystone.  I never knew where it was except that it is "in the mountains of North Jersey," and it was not until many years later that I discovered it was a mental hospital!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Surprise, surprise!  As far as I know, no family members of mine have ever been confined there, though I can think of several who should have been, and should be, now!

                               Except, as I saw for myself this weekend on the extended Morristown  tour, Greystone is now a very Gothic looking, abandoned asylum, where I sensed the horror of the place.

                               Like Castle Medina, in Roger Corman's 1961 movie, "The Pit And The Pendulum"--featuring Barbara Steele, fresh from her triumph as Princess Asa, whom we just LOVE, the year before, in "Black Sunday"--at night, it is said among these parts that the shrieks and moans of the spirits walk about the place, that their moans of pain echo from the depths of the dungeon, where the dark deeds were done!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 At night, the bodies of the hunchbacked and demented, who died there, arise from their graves, in search of victims; innocent passersby, who may just be doing a nightly constitutional  past this fascinating place, but beware this fascination.

                                   The horrible demons will leap upon the living, twisting and mangling their bodies, so that they become one of them, laughing, cackling and howling all the while!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Of course, darlings, you know I was just itching to stay out all night, roam about the place, and see for myself what actually goes on. And who and I what I just might see.

                                       Beware the fascination of Greystone!  Beware falling under its possessive spell!!!!!!!!  Who needs "American Horror Story," when New Jersey has this??????????

                                         If only Sussex County had not destroyed the Native Village, which no one writes about.  This was a grass hutted recreation of a cartoon African village, with performers enacting real natives, holding spears, and everything. I always wanted to go, but my parents would never hear of it. The natives reminded me of those in "King Kong" (1933), and I expected to go there and hear Noble Johnson's (the Native Chief) line from the film--"Ana saba Kong!"  Which means, of course, "She is the bride of Kong!"

                                          Alas ,it was not to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Maybe, after all this Greystone talk, I need a nice, young Catholic priest, to do an exorcism on me!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           You know, Father Wattawaste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     

Darlings, Who Would Have Thought Morristown, New Jersey, Would Be Such A Swinging, Happening Place??????????????????????

                                               "A Trip To The Library,
                                                Has made a new girl of me,
                                                For suddenly I can see
                                                The magic of books."
                                                 --Barbara Baxley as Ilona Ritter
                                                    in "She Loves Me" (Bock and
                                                 Harnick, 1963)


                                       Back in my Seton Hall days, I knew this guy, Jason,(no, NOT Jason Voorhees!!!!!!!!!!) a science student.  He was not only attuned to science, but to his sexual
orientation, which is how I got to know him.  He hailed from Morristown, and from the way
he said it, you would have thought it was Middle Class Nowhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Well, that may have been then, but this is NOW!  When we visited our friends, Linda and Marilyn, at their palatial estate in Morris Plains, we weren't prepared for the excitement that awaited us.

                                            The first sight we saw, as we pulled up to the residence, was the sight of a group of policemen questioning this white haired woman, sitting on a bench, who, I kid you not, was dressed in Mrs. Voorhees!!!!!!!!!!  This was a very rural area, so she was probably running around those wooded areas, crying "Kill her, Mommy, kill her!"  I mean, it is Halloween time, and "Friday The 13th" is being screened this week at Chelsea, so the timing was just perfect.

                                               Next, we went into Morristown proper.  Now, when I am off from work, libraries are the last place I want to visit, but you have got to see this one.  It looks like Manderly, and inside, it has the feel of another age--quiet, stately, respectful of those who are there for serious purposes, not just to technologically jerk off, or whatever other nonsense in the name of technology people think they are doing.  Even the librarians here seem genuine and human; not like the caricatures of most whom you see in the city!!!!!!!!!!  Believe me, I know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 I always judge a library by its Fiction collection.  And this one is pretty impressive.  How about "The Song Of Bernadette" by Franz Werfel?  Oh, my God; you better believe it!!!!!!!!!  And all of Taylor Caldwell's books!  I did not check, but if they have Taylor, you better believe they have Frances Parkinson Keyes!!!!!!!!!  And they had the complete Jane Smiley Oeuvre, including--are you ready--"The Greenlanders," and in hardback!!!!!!!!!!   I had such a time trying to order this book online, and I had to content myself with a paperback edition, which is in mint condition, but I had never expected to see a hard backed copy of this book anywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh, and Helen Hooven Santmyer's "And Ladies Of The Club!"  I am telling you, I wanted to scoop up all of these books, and take them with me!  But cooler heads prevailed!!!!!!!!!!   So, someday I am going to have to spend a couple of days in this place, reading my way through the Fiction collection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   As for the night life, it is a jumping place!  We dined at The Dublin Pub, hosted by this woman who needs to see a casting agent, because she could be the next Christine Baranski.  The best chicken and bacon sandwich, with Cole Slaw, one could ask for.  And right across the street from The Community Theater, where all kinds of performances take place.

                                                     The Episcopal Church, which we visited earlier that day, was like something out of the Cloisters, in Manhattan.  I visited the garden of St. Peter, and meditated.  I have not done that in a long time.

                                                       The Village Green of Morristown is beautiful, and I loved the statue of Morris Frank and Buddy, pioneers in the Seeing Eye Dog movement, which happened up there.  I was deeply moved!

                                                         However, I was not moved by the fact that there was a Century 21 nearby. Which, being with my beloved, we went to!  Not the highlight of my visit, by a long shot!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         What was more exciting was spending the night, windows opening, overlooking a hilly knoll leading up to a nursing home, where, at night, we could hear, from our beds, the plight of the aged!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        But, I am telling you, darlings, who thought there could be such life, outside the city?????????  And in Jersey, yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Take a ride to Morristown, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet some of you are sure to score some action!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                               

Damn!!!!!!!!!!! I Had Expected This To Be The Book Of The Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  It may only make my Ten Best, but what a pleasure it was to read "Some Luck," by Jane Smiley.  The first of a trilogy detailing generations of the Langdons, an Iowan farm family, this is deep in Jane Smiley territory--lyrical depictions of farming that makes us non-farmers want to turn our tills to the soil, human and natural drama, the unfolding of the 20th Century--only as Jane Smiley, the only other Jane beside Austen I can seriously say, in literary terms, can write it.

                                   I enjoyed every page, and eagerly await the next volume in the trilogy.  But it didn't have that indefinable something extra that makes a reader know when they are reading a Book Of The Year.  I still have a few volumes to get through, meaning, if it has not come from Jane, or Anthony Doerr, then it is anyone's guess from whom it will come, which means a total surprise. Which I will let you girls in on, as soon as I read it.

                                    This book did make me want to read the entire Jane Smiley Oeuvre.  I have quite a few volumes to get to, because Jane has been at it, for such a long time!  May she never stop!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Just love you, Jane!  Especially the descriptions of the vegetables and pies!!!!!!!!!!!!

If ANYONE Were To Do To Me What This Man Did To Child Star Lauren Chapin, I Would Have Handled It The Same Way She Did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               The man in question, pictured above, is Peter Tewkesbury, no relation to Joan, because he did not have that kind of brilliant talent. He was an average TV director, who just happened to latch onto directing many episodes of a series that has now become iconic--"Father Knows Best."

                                                  But he was not a nice man.  He was a fucking son of a bitch!

                                                    The proof was revealed in Lauren Chapin's book, "Father Does Know Best," first published, I cannot believe it, 25 years ago, in 1989!!!!!!!!!  Where has the time gone!

                                                      It is quite a book, the most harrowing account of a child star's life, on a par with "Call Me Anna," by Patty Duke.  Too bad no one has ever written Anissa Jones' story.
Now, THAT would have been something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        Lauren, of course, played little Kathy Anderson, on the hit show, where the character was known as "Kitten."  At home, Lauren's mother was a stage mother tramp, and her brother, Billy, a child actor himself, who scored  big in the 1955 thriller, "The Night Of The Hunter," but never achieving the lasting fame of his sister, abused her, too, because he resented this.

                                                          So,  often, for Lauren, the fabricated family set was a safe haven.

                                                           Until one day.

                                                            Lauren goes into exhaustive details about that day which are recorded on pages 67 through 69 in the book,, but she does not mention which episode they were shooting.  If I may make an educated guess, based on having  seen almost all the episodes, and then reading the book, my guess is the episode in question was "Big Sister," which was first aired on January 8, 1958.

                                                             This is where Kathy goes away to a Summer Camp, where  her eldest sister, Betty (Elinor Donahue) is also a counselor.  Of course, the sisters are assigned to each other, and tensions ensue.  For one thing, Kathy hates the change she sees in how her sister relates to her, because, to ensure she makes a good impression on the job, Betty demonstrates that she can be extra tough on one she loves--her own sister--which drives Kathy over the edge emotionally; so much so, that, while a storm comes up, she runs away from camp, and cannot be found.  The last scene has Betty finally finding her, in the pouring rain and blowing wind, clutching her affectionately, and profusely apologizing for her behavior, while Kathy sobs in her arms.  I have never forgotten this moment, because it is the only time I have ever seen Elinor Donahue, here or anywhere else, play a bitch.  And, second, because, while the scene involved crying, something about Lauren's in that scene was not right; meaning it was almost too real.  And there may have been a reason for that, as Lauren recounted.

                                                           She starts out by saying that everyone was comfortable working with Peter Tewkesbury, who was in his 30's, married, and with children.  She even confessed to having a brief crush on him.  He worked well with the actors, but on the day in question, Lauren's character was required to do a crying scene,(which makes me think it was the episode above) and for whatever reason--a bad day, problems at home, or maybe just plain exhaustion--she was not able to get it right.  Twekesbury was feeling the heat from studio bosses to bring in the goods on time, and this was taking much to long.  So, he resorted to the oldest trick in the book--using excessive verbal abuse on Lauren, to get what he wanted!!!!!!!!!  Adults, especially those in corporate America, do this to each other all the time, but to do this to a child--a professional worker, but still a child--is heinous.

                                                             According to Lauren, Peter had sent cast and crew on a break, while he fumed, over what to do.  While Lauren was playing cards with some crew members, she heard Twekesbury call her in a manner he never had before--"You goddamned brat, get your goddamned tail out here, at once," he screamed.  Lauren approached, and stood there, while, Peter, screaming, dressed her down, professionally and personally, in front of everyone.  None of her cast members came to her defense.  As soon as he saw tears forming, he turned the cameras on, filmed the scene, and instantly transformed back.  "Now, that's the kind of crying we want to see," he called out generously!  " You've got it, Lauren!  Great!"

                                                                You know, if this had been me, darlings, I would have walked over, and smacked him across the face!!!!!!!!!  He would have had no idea what he was dealing with, with me, and he had no idea about Lauren.  Thanks to her tramp mother, and all the scum she slept with, Lauren had quite a vocabulary for a little girl, and, screaming at equal pitch, she fired back an invective of obscenities, at Tewkesbury, for using the cheapest trick in the book to extract a performance from her.  She was so incensed, she walked off the set for three days; even her tramp mother backed her up!

                                                                Peter Tewkesbury is no longer alive, but if his children are, I am glad Lauren told the truth about their father---he was an abusive son-of-a-bitch!  Anyone who messes with me in this manner---or tries to--will get the same results!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                  Sometimes, you just have to be a bitch, darlings, and with Lauren, at that time, Bitch Knew Best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                   Fuck you, Peter Tewkesbury!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!