Saturday, June 29, 2019

Can You Believe We Are Now Halfway Through 2019???????????????????????????????


                                    Where does the time go, loves?  Gay Pride, and the halfway point of the year!

                                     What a month it has been.  We learned about the 50th Anniversary of the movie "Last Summer."  We were granted the happiness of witnessing Celia win a TONY Award, we are planning Pride excursions.

                                        All in all, June seemed to burst upon us, and whizzed right through.

                                        Thankfully, all is well.

                                         Looking forward to fun, in July!

                                         Like Betty and Veronica!

Or Josie!!!!!!!!!!

See you next month, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Gay Pride, With Love, From Gojira!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                             Sweet Baby Gojira is right by my side, as I write this, with Big Gojira sending everyone his love, and best wishes, for a Happy Pride Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   That is why we love him so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                As for me, dolls, I will return on Monday, to report on our excursion!

                                Again, Happy Pride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here Is The Suprise Choice For Tomorrow's Pride Song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                I can think of no better choice than BARBRA's unique rendition of "Jingle Bells."  After all, BARBRA means GAY, and when has La Strident ever had so much actual fun, as when she was doing this song???????  Better than that pretentious "Classical Barbra" thing, or trying to make "My Favorite Things" into an operatic aria!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  So, listen to BARBRA, and Happy Pride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Gabrielle, The Wine Almost Fell Into My Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



This almost non-sequitir  line is my new favorite, after a recent viewing of "Valley Of The Dolls."  Remember, when Jennifer (Sharon Tate) goes off to France, with that faux French director, to make so-called "art films," but even Patty Duke, as Neely (that's ME!) calls "Nudies?????????"

She makes this film where she is this Catherine Denueve "Belle De Jour" wannabe.  After a sexual encounter, she knocks over the wine, is practically thrown against the wall, like a piece of used property, then gets up from the bed, facing the camera, bareback, as the camera cuts to a view of Paris, ending the film.

It is a hoot! But she needs the money for Tony who is suffering in a sanitarium from Huntington's Chorea, and she has to go back to the states, and weather a battle with breast cancer.  The suicide scene always gets to me because of what I know eventually happened to Sharon Tate herself, the poor thing.

But this does not stop me from singling out "Valley Of The Dolls," as THE film to watch for Pride, as it singularly tells all our stories.

Let me take you on a cursive journey, and explain why!
                               We all start out, growing up in some suburban enclave.  Our parents and adults around us are so provincial, they are satisfied, but not us.  We go through school thinking we are superior to our schoolmates from the day we were born, which we are, as, for the most part, they are idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   We can't  wait to get away from this hick burg, and do as soon as we are able!
Oh, my God, do we yearn for a dream!!!!!!!!!!!!  And if you are raised on the East Coast, as I was, that dream can only mean conquering New York.  You take that train, knowing you are better than anyone else, hungering for excitement, glamour, all the things you have been previously denied by suburban provincialism, because the people in your goddamned town could not recognize how serious, and superior to them, you really were!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, you get your first gig, in a show.  You are given a great number.  The cast and crew love you, you know you have got the voice, and you are doing your best work.  You are as gracious as can be.  But some over aged fag hag resents you, and kicks you out.  You leave the stinkin' show--with dignity--
but latch on to something else.
Next, you get a telethon gig.  You are perky and wholesome, destined to become America's singing sweetheart!  This leads to a Hollywood screen test, and a studio contract.  You have GAY POWER!
But can you withstand the pressure?  Now comes the test!

OK, now you have the house in CA, and the pool.  But you are starting to get wardrobe fittings with fag designers, and your husband, once a press agent, has become your lackey.  You make your first mistake by getting rid of him, only you don't know it.  You still have POWER, but no support to help you harness it.  Left on your own, it spells trouble.  As friends say, you thrive on it.
You win an Oscar!  For a film in which you never sang, let alone barely spoke a word!  You have shown the world that you are BETTER than anybody!  Can this be maintained????


No, because after the Oscar, with all the power at your disposal, you are cast in a period musical, and expect everyone to revolve around YOUR schedule!  Why shouldn't they listen to you--YOU are the one, bringin' in the bucks!  And that camera man is frying you!  Crucifixion!!!!!!!!!!!  You tell everyone off, just like you wanted to do, with your school mates.  You fail to realize you are still acting out your childhood and adolescence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things can only get worse from here.  Just because you have GAY POWER does not mean things are rosy.  You catch your fag husband in bed with some studio whore, who he says makes him feel "nine feet tall," when he isn't even six inches, if you know what I mean.  And you are sick and tired of being a beard!!!!!!!!!  Where do you go from here?
You take a flight to Frisco, ending up in some cheap dive, with a man you have never seen before!  We have all been there, darlings!  Only he looks like a young Sylvester Stallone, and you pass out from pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You awake in the sanitarium, where you should have been.  Nothing but dyke nurses and ugly, orthopedic spinsters.  You have NO intention of socializing with KOOKS!  A chance encounter with Tony revives your determination to make it out of there.  David Merrick offers you a chance to do a musical for him.  You take it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While in rehearsals for the Merrick show, you go to a party and encounter your old show biz nemesis.  You give it to her, but good, and flush her wig down the toilet, like she deserves.  She's some ancient granny, and YOU are the star that is on top!
So, you are cast in "Tell Me, Darling!," a big, splashy musical. You are its star!  But you still need those pills for anxiety!  Believe me, I know!  You end up trying to go on the for the first act, in your second act costume.  It won't work, and then your Streisand wannabe understudy steps in, and replaces you.  You should not have let THAT happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now--NOW!!!!!!!!--you come to the moment of reckoning.  Church bells tolling, as you scream for everyone you have alienated!  You have still got the talent, but have you destroyed  yourself, like Helen Lawson said?  Not ME, darlings!  You just keep saying that, and make a comeback!

So, see?  "Valley Of The Dolls" is the story of all of us.  It is MY story, and yours!  Which is why I suggest watching the movie tomorrow, with plenty of alcohol fused drinks, dressed in a Travilla gown!

As for me girls--"I said I've HAD it!  Beat it!  I said I am through for the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"The Whole World Loves Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                              It really does, darlings!

                              I am going on a massive excursion for Pride Day tomorrow, so I wanted to get my words out to you now, because there will be no time on Sunday morning.  But there better be time to
listen to Sister Camille!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Now, I am The Raving Queen, but I am also Neely O' Hara.  The lovable kid from vaudeville, who became a star, and a monster.  Who wanted Allison fired from the show.

                                 I am a big star, girls!  Because I have talent!  BIG talent!

                                 Yes, it is a rotten business, but I love it.  Yes, I end up screaming in the gutter as the church bells toll, but you know, if the story continues, there is going to be a comeback!

                                   Who are you?  Who are you?

                                    Happy Pride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is Tres Leches, And Then There Is The White Trash Version!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now, darlings, I have had Tres Leches Cake, and it is really fabulous.  It is the real thing--a sponge, or, better yet, butter cake, soaked in three kinds of milk--condensed, evaporated, and heavy cream. It is so rich and delicious, it just melts in your mouth, and you are on a pure, creamy high!

Now, the White Trash contingent have their version of this, too.  Remember, in a recent post, I warned about the dangers of Costco; how excessive purchasing and eating Suzy Q's can turn one into Mama June?

Well, what real Suzy Q addicts do is make their own version of Tres Leches.  They take a Suzy Q, or maybe even two, put them in a cereal bowl, and then soak them in milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To a child, this could sound tempting, and to adults with sweet tooths, or who are tipping on the social class precipice, this could be alluring.  But once you have had Tres Leches, White Trash style, one is done.  It is like being hooked on heroin, except the drug dealer does not have to come after one, because the looming specter of Costco is always present!!!!!!!!!!

So stay away, girls!  Otherwise you will find yourself, fat, bloated, sitting on a checkered lawn chair outside your one horse trailer, gorging on these things, and wondering how you got to this point, in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you must have Tres Leches, girls, indulge only in the REAL thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday To Colin Jost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   Girls who love Colin Jost--and I am one!!!!--will want to wish him happiness, on what is today his 37th birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Colin is so scrumptious, dolls!  He looks so good, in a suit!  That smile!  Those teeth!  That hair!  He is some delicious swirl of vanilla cream cupcake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     No wonder Leslie Jones cannot keep her hands off him on "Weekend Update."

                                      And how does he look so perfect, all the time?  Colin, tell us, who does your hair?????????????????

                                      So, yes, a Happy Summer birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!  Today is gonna be a hot one, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       But, then,  Colin Jost IS hot, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, June 28, 2019

Skip This One, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      Does anyone read REAL Victorian literature, anymore?  Like Jane Austen, the Brontes, Wilkie Collins, Dickens, George Eliot, and the like?  From the praise heaped upon this poorly written novel on Amazon, apparently not, for, if readers had, they would have seen right through Kris Waldherr's poorly written  novel.

                                      Now, to her credit, it is clear to me she has read all of the aforementioned authors, and good for her. Like me, she knows the true pleasures of Victorian literature.

                                        She also knows all the generic formulae.  What she does not understand is how to put it all together.

                                           When I saw that Kate Quinn, author of a book that disappointed me earlier, called "The Alice Network," compared this book to "Wuthering Heights," I knew she was over reaching.

                                             It hardly compares.  There is so much excess--too many lost loves, generations, characters coming and going that she does not have the skill to allow readers to keep track of, a ho hum conclusion, and women upon women masquerading as other women, until one's head is spinning.

                                               If she had scraped half the excess off, she might have had a passable novel.  But with her spectacular overload, she manages to reduce Victoriana to triteness, a thing I can not allow.

                                                 It is only 300 pages, but seemed twice as long.  A sign of a bad novel.

                                                 I wish Miss Waldherr luck in her writing.  But on the basis of this overdone pablum, I am going to steer clear of her!

                                                    Stick to the REAL thing, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Danger Of Going To Costco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                Who the hell goes to Costco?  Are its stores the White Trash shopping capital of the world?

                                  It looked like it, on a trip I went to recently, with David and friends.  But I understand some very high brow people also go to Costco, which shows there is no accounting for taste.

                                     Being in Costco makes me ill.  It is gargantuan and overwhelming, as are some of the patrons, who are vacuous, loud, and vulgar, and stuff their carts full of junk they are buying in excess, but will end up throwing out. What a waste of American resources.  What about the hungry and poor overseas.

                                      Nothing epitomized the excess of Costco more than boxes upon boxes in arranged mountains of Suzy Q's, the Hostess product which is simply two uncovered chocolate cake slices, with Hostess cream--which I was always told was a blend of Crisco and sugar--in between.  Sure, I have had a couple in my time.  But, when I saw this, I realized what was going on.  The store's manufacturers want customers to stock up on Suzy Q's, becoming fatter, and more addicted, so they keep coming back, until we have a nation full of White Trash, Mama Junes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       I urge you, girls, to stay away from Costco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Otherwise, your clothes will come from Target!

Now, Isn't This Just Precious, Darlings???????????????????????


                               You  have heard me on here, about our Baby Gojira and Gojira.   Though they are not quite as tangible as Wally, The Emotional Support Alligator.  The three-year-old reptile, now 35 pounds, and 5 feet long, lives with Joie Henney of York, Pennsylvania.  Now, I don't know if Wally and Joie live with anyone else--wife, children?--but, at least, for now, it is just Joie and Wally.

                                  I have to confess this looks cute. When you see Wally interacting with Joe, with people on the street, and with children, he seems the sweetest thing.  And he may be.

                                   But Wally is still a wild animal.  And I don't think he is full grown yet.  What happens, then?

                                     Joie keeps a six gallon pool in his living room, for Wally, and has another companion in there for him, named Scrappy.  Both of them are rescue animals. Wally was rescued in 2015, outside Orlando, at 14 months.  Scrappy stays in the pool, but Wally has free run of the house.

                                      It all looks and sounds so cute.  I am all for animals giving comfort to people, and I might want to pet Wally myself, but hold and hug him?  I don't know?

                                        Joie admits Wally's affection has helped him with depression and that Wally helps others, including special needs children, who just love them.  And he loves them back, allowing himself to be pet, kissed and cuddled, which he seems to like.

                                       The question I keep asking is what is to stop Wally from one day demonstrating his predatory instincts?  I would hate to see Joie done in by Wally after all the good he has done, both for he and the community.

                                           My best to Joie and Wally.  But I will stick with my canine friends!!!!!!!!

Trash Queen Is Dead, At 91!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




                          Judith Krantz' books were all trash, and I am not ashamed to say I have read all the works pictured.  When she died, on June 22, in Bel Air, CA, at the age of 91, I was surprised, because to me, Judith Krantz seemed ageless.  But maybe that was because I was so young, during her heyday.

                          Back in the late 70;s and  early 80's, there were two trash authors, who ruled--Krantz, and Barbara Taylor Bradford.  I mean, girls, have you read "A Woman Of Substance?"  You cannot claim to be one of us girls, until you have read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Krantz, who evolved from the era of Jacqueline Susann, would write about the things my teen aged self most desired but never expected would get--glamorous gown, exotic locales, high end restaurants, and bitching supreme.  I always said "Scruples" was the story of a woman who had none--and didn't I just LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            But the Krantz book required of everyone on here is--"I'll Take Manhattan!"  Long before Candace Bushnell created Cary Bradshaw, THIS was the story all Gotham aspirants read!  And then, Valerie Bertinelli, in the made-for-TV movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Krantz may have been trash, but compared to what passes for that on the market today, she and Babs (Bradford) might as well have been the Brontes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Indeed, "New York Magazine" did a piece on Mort Janklow, and lawyer and member of the literati, who handled all these authors, and was married to Linda LeRoy, daughter of Mervyn, who produced "The Wizard Of Oz."  It was my intention to read as many of these books as I could, and then go work for Mort.  The books gave me aspirations.  But the results took me to other places!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               The best memorial to Judith Krantz, which I would like to see, is a pink boutique, like the cover of "Mistral's Daughter," selling haute couture, and hardback and paperback copies of Krantz' work.  It could be called "Krantz'," and pilgrims would flock to it, straight women and queens alike.

                                Till the day that may or may not arrive, rest in peace Judith.

                                 You gave our younger, baby boomer selves, something to aspire to!!!!!!!!!!!

Regarding Bitches, Harm Always Seems To Come Down To Animals Or Children--The Most Innocent Of Victims!!!!!!!!!!


                                      Tenia Campbell, of Medford, Long Island, is not only the winner of The Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.  She is also winner of the Susan Smith Mother Of The Year Award, for killing her precious two year old daughters.

                                       Campbell was not motivated by greed or avarice, like Smith, but some kind of mental disturbance.  She is from Medford, but told her mother, driving around, that she was suicidal and would kill her daughters and herself.

                                        She only killed the daughters.  By 4:05 they had been found, all in the car, by the Montauk Nature Center, at  1929 Montauk highway.

                                         To think this happened in Montauk!  Montauk!!!!!!!!!!!!  Where the best of society, including yours truly, go to for the Summer.

                                           This tragedy could ruin things.  I don't care if Tenia had mental problems, there was no reason to do in her daughters.  Herself, maybe, not two innocents.

                                            It is horrible, pathetic, and tragic.  The girls did not deserve this.

                                            Tenia may have.  Hopefully, she will be locked up, observed, and never come out of institutionalization.
                                                 
                                              What did this bitch do to them? When they were found, the kids were in cardiac arrest.  They died by the time they arrived at Stony Brook Southampton Hospital!!!!!!!!!

                                                 But this bitch was not too unaware to make sure she was stylishly coiffed!

                                                  She doesn't fool me, the bitch!  When the story does come out, as it will, her selfishness will be revealed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   Honestly, girls, what is it about Long Island????????????????

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

It Would Not Be Pride Week, Without A Marriage Column!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





                                 It was April 12, since I wrote the  last one, girls, so, what better time for another than Pride Week, when guys are looking for guys?  Oh, I know, girls are looking for girls too, but I leave that to those better informed in that department than I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Of course, even when pictured above, waiting for a phone call, we have to look our best.  Ending up as a male gay spinster can be terrible.  If you think the female ones are pathetic, the males are worse.  The best example I can think of is the male librarian, in the 1982 film version of "Sophie's Choice," with Meryl Streep.  You do NOT want to end up like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  So, let us take a look at the above suggestions, and see which are best to follow.

                                  96.  Be Flexible. If He Decides To Skip Dancing, And Go Rowing On The Lake,
                                          Go--Even If You Are Wearing Your Best Evening Gown--First of all, girls,
                                         remember what glamorous boating did for 'Tippi' Hedren, in "The Birds."
                                         Sure, you want to dance, girls, but if you want the guy, showing up in a boat
                                         in a designer outfit will really impress him.  Hell, it may even help him
                                         catch more fish. And the more fish he catches, the more of a man he feels,
                                         so, it is all win, win, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                97.    Hide Your Phi Beta Kappa Key, If You Own One.  Later On, Junior Can
                                         Play With It--This one I would approach with reservations.  While every
                                         husband wants an Ivy Leaguer, or Seven Sisters graduate for a wife, don't
                                         shine the light too brightly yet.  Let him know you know who Dorothy
                                         Kilgallen is, and, of course, Jackie and Lee, but don't bring up Virginia
                                         Woolf, or "The Awakening," by Kate Chopin, until after the wedding
                                          ceremony is completed.

                               98.     Turn Wolves Into Husband Material, By Assuming They Have Honor--Now,
                                          I know this may be more difficult for some than others.  It requires quite
                                          a bit of acting skill, the most you will ever need, here, so my suggestion to
                                          those less skilled is to start by taking a basic acting class!  Then act your
                                          way through this scenario!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               99.       Resist Making Him Over--Before Marriage, That Is--This may be one of
                                           the most important essentials on here.  Sure, he may slurp his soup, and, as
                                           frightening as it may seem, he may not know the difference between
                                           Versace, and Balenciaga!  Especially if he is a gym rat; they hardly know
                                            anything, because all they think about are their bodies, which is the only
                                            item they have to offer.  So, bag the body, then do the whole Pygmalion
                                            thing--and it can be done--afterwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              100.       Learn Where To Draw The Line, But Do It Gracefully--Yes, girls, we are
                                            the princesses, we know what it is all about, and that it is about us, but,
                                            again, this is something not to be revealed, till after the ceremony.  And
                                             don't EVER let him into you bedroom--not because of premarital sex,
                                             darlings, but because you don't want to intimidate him by all the designer
                                             clothes in your closet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              101.         Remain Innocent, But Not Ignorant---Think of Maria, in "West Side
                                              Story. That white dress look, with a red belt in the middle is perfect!
                                              Before the wedding, every outfit you go out in should be some variation
                                              thereof.  And, of course, you can demonstrate your interest in  haute
                                              cuisine, when you lure him to a high end place, which is essential for
                                              landing a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Wo Hop, downstairs, in Chinatown, is for
                                              an evening out, after the kids have arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              So, there you have it, girls--and guys!   The Pride Guide To Possibly Scoring This
Weekend!  Or at least, at some future time in one's life!

                               Have fun with these methods, and Happy Pride, dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                             Remember, this could be you, too, someday, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                       
                                           

Girls, This Is Like A Day In My Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               "Mel, do you call this acting?"--
                                                  Patty Duke, as Neely O'Hara in
                                                "Valley Of The Dolls" (1967)


                                 Yes, dears, like Neely O'Hara, one of my role models, the alarm goes off, and I am up and at 'em.  First come the pills, then the coffee, then the blog.  After that is what is seen and you will see here.

                                   I am telling you, it can be rough.  After a day like this, my back's near broke.  And in MY condition.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Hopefully, I won't end up in the gutter, like Neely, but, like her, what I know, from writing this blog is--

                                           "The whole world loves me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                           Get a look at what I go through, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 24, 2019

Wouldn't It Have Been Something If Irena, From "Cat People," and Lota, The Panther Woman From "Island Of Lost Souls," Combined To Team Up InTheir Own Cat Women Movie?????????????



                                           I was always fascinated by Lota, The Panther Woman, who was always billed in the film as that, but who I later discovered was played by an actress named Kathleen Burke. Of course, as a child, I wanted to be her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              "Island Of Lost Souls" had she, and Bela Lugosi as the Sayer Of The Law, made up to look like a werewolf, who speaks the famous lines, "What is the law?  Not to eat meat?  "What is the law?  Not to spill blood!"

                                                You see, Lota's mother had been an actual panther, and so had she.  Bela had been some kind of animal, because Charles Laughton as Dr. Moreau (this was based on H.G. Wells' novel, "The Island Of Dr. Moreau") was trying to convert beasts into men. Lota was billed as "his most perfect creation."

                                                   But when Richard Arlen washes up on the island, and stirs Lota, she comes in conflict with human, physical desires, and predatory, animal eating ones!

                                                   What a dilemma.

                                                    Whereas, Irena, in "Cat People" had been descended from some kind of cult that worshipped the cat as God, and were granted the power to transform themselves into one, as she is seen doing in this film.

                                                        Lota is still my favorite. But some enterprising movie maker, during the Forties, should have thought of teaming these two gals up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Just two girls, on the town, and on the prowl!

                                                         Out cattin', those Satin Dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Fingernails Scraping A Chalk Board!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                               And that is NOT a compliment, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               The thing about Christopher J. Yates, is that I loved his second novel, "Grist Mill Road," which I read in early 2018.  It came to my attention, via a review in "he New York Times,"and I loved its twisted tale.  Check out January 2018 on here, if you want to read, or reread, what I wrote.

                                                 At that time, I did not know it was his second novel.  Recently, someone mentioned "Black Chalk" to me, that it was by the same author, and had actually been written first.

                                                    I picked it up, with great anticipation.  All this talk about a "great psychological thriller," and a "shocking twist," peaked my interest.  But it all turned out to be a ballyhooed fizzle.

                                                     Unless you hit it big, like Paula Hawkins, with "The Girl On The Train," or the mysterious "The Woman In The Window" by A. J. Finn (who now turns out to have been Dan Mallory) there is an inherent problem at work in this genre.

                                                       Every working author wanting to reach the heights of the aforementioned desperately wants to try and rewrite one of two books--either "The Secret History," by Donna Tartt, or "Gone Girl," by Gillian Flynn.  Why bother?, I say, because these books have been written and will endure, and while I admired "Gone Girl," in my opinion "Sharp Objects" topped it.  It will be a long time before fiction has as fascinating a figure as Amma Crellin!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           Yates tries to redo Tartt.  There is a private school, standing in for Oxford, a clique of kids who come from poor families, and are there on scholarship, who first form a bond over this, then get into this weird Dare And Consequences game, where the stakes get higher, and higher, and relationships begin to disintegrate.

                                                             Doesn't it sound all too familiar, dolls?

                                                              And, of course, someone gets killed!

                                                              As for the surprise twist, it did not come as any big deal to me. When finally revealed, my reaction was "Ho hum!"

                                                                Why did I feel the need to go down this path again?  Because in the right hands, the journey can be fascinating.  But not here.  Added to which Yates' book goes back and forth in time, with no real clues, until one is in the midst of the text, and his structure is in student outline form, the way so many of us were taught, years ago.  It does not work well for the story.

                                                                     I will say this for Yates.  He is kinda cute, girls; he looks something like Jason Danieley.  So, if there is a third book, I might actually give it a try.

                                                                       But, Christopher, dear, if you strike out, I am done!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Open Letter To Anna Wintour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                      The following was prompted by a shopping excursion done in Bay Ridge, with my David, and our neighbors, Dan and Jennifer, yesterday.  Now, first, consider the shopping took place at Century 21. When I was young, single, and first living in Bay Ridge, I could find things.  I had this gorgeous Alexander Julian blue and white striped short sleeved shirt, that was the pride of my closet, and the envy of all, who saw me wear it.  I was emotionally attached to that shirt, and did not get rid of it, until I simply could not fit into it anymore.  Which took a good twenty years, so that shirt got good usage.

                     Yesterday, there was no feast, just famine.  Hence, my appeal to someone capable of giving me a definitive answer--ANNA WINTOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                       Dear Anna:

                        Once upon a time there was something published called "MEN"S VOGUE."  It petered out, for whatever reason.  It is too bad, because more so today, than ever, men, whether straight or gay, need fashion guidance.

                           Speaking for myself, who is gay, I like to find something that speaks to me, where I imagine the designer cooing into my ear, "Look, what I have created just for you."  And what it takes for that to happen is something that does not occur to those regarding fashions for men--color!!!!!!!!!!

                             Color, and color, and more color!  I want my shirts, or jackets to be alive with color!  Mind you, I am not talking Billy Porter; let's say several notches below.  But on my excursion, yesterday, forget it!  The men's colors were all dark and dreary.  The entire atmosphere of the suit department was funereal; as if everyone was going to a funeral.  While in the casual corners, where I used to find things like Alexander Julian, the atmosphere was strictly "gangsta'," or Fred Flintstone garish Hawaiian 1950's style shirts.

                              Obviously, Anna, I am shopping at the wrong place.  But you are many things, and one of them I know and admire you for is being pragmatic.  I know there are ways and places I can find where I might be able to pull myself together, but where are they?  And why does not the more mainstream pay more attention to male fashion? Women get so many more fashion breaks than men, and while I love seeing a gorgeous gown or ensemble, why can't men have color and variation for themselves?

                                I wish you would talk some sense into these creators and designers about men.  I don't have your influence, but worse, I am losing, increasingly, a desire to go shopping.

                                We just lost Gloria Vanderbilt.  Must civilization stop, as well.

                                 Sincerely,

                                  Frustrated, Gay, Sixties-Plus (Age, not Size!) Fashionista!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Pride Week, Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      Have you ever heard of this, darlings?  I hadn't, until the other day.

                                       This is a rainbow milk shake.  There are recipes online, but the most famous place to get one is Diner By The Sea, on Long Beach, Long Island.  Except, there is an ongoing water problem, involving e-coli, so I would not advise, going there, right now.

                                          Still, I thought it would be a novel way to usher in this Pride Week.

                                           But, just what the hell is it? It looks like a vanilla milkshake, outlined with food coloring poured into it.  Or is pored outside the glass?  I cannot imagine the rainbow imagery comes from actual ice cream, but I can't be sure.  The only thing I am sure of these days is that Kate McKinnon is a lesbian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Looking at it does make me curious.  But looking at it now, with my diabetes, and even, younger, with my stomach, I am not sure I could handle such a thing.

                                               Still, it is a pretty sight.

                                                So, Happy Pride Week, Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Darlings, Wait Till You See What Has Been Done To The Barnum's Animals Crackers Box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                     I despise the changing of traditions, and the traditional box, pictured above, always had the animals in their cages with string.  I never thought of myself as cruel or exploitative.  I never could be, as my love for all my animal friends has been recorded on this blog.  And this was a product from Nabisco, who wanted to sell their product, thereby keeping everything wholesome.  So, to me, these animals were friendly and treated well.

                                      After gathering several boxes, I used to string them together, so I could have my own circus train.  In fact, I kept a wagon atop my cubicle, at my former work place.  There was never a problem.

                                       It was never an issue, nor would it still be, I believe, if I were there.  But, somewhere along the way, the PC police decided this was animal cruelty(!!!!!) and, so , look what they have come up with--
Look at this!  Now, the animals are in the wild.  So, no more circus trains, but, even worse, look at the image, carefully.  These animals don't look friendly.  They look aggressive, and seem as if they are ready to come at one!

Is this any way to sell a product?  With animals on the cover, threatening to kill one????????

I understand restoring them to the wild.  Listen, I read all the Joy Adamson books, and, of  course, I saw the movie "Born Free."

Keep the animals in the wild!  But make them a little more cutesy, please??????????????

What better way to end this post, than with Shirley Temple, singing "Animal Crackers In My Soup?" Although, if the lyrics are really listened to, it alludes to violence against animals.  

Even Shirley had a dark side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Oh, My God, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Divinity That Is MERYL Is Actually 70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                        Another inconceivable aspect to this day--Meryl Streep--yes, MERYL!!!!!!!!!!--turns 70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        How is that possible?  And how is she able to look so good.  The only answer can be, well, she is MERYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  As good as I may want to look at this age, darlings, you can bet I won't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         To me, it seems like yesterday, when MERYL appeared on the acting scene.
And now it is 40 years later???????????????

                                           Happy 70th, MERYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You look fabulous, are a class act, and aren't about to stop yet!

                                            Have a fabulous birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"That's all!"