Seven Months Down, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      This July will always be remembered for having seen "The Music Man" onstage, at the Winter Garden.  It will also be recalled as when I challenged myself by re-reading W. Somerset Maugham's masterwork, "Of Human Bondage," which gave me a chance to wallow--Why did I need to? --in a big, depressing book.

                                           Yes, there were fireworks on Independence Day.  Also, a dear friend of ours lost his mother, and we are all sad about that, and concerned for him.

                                               Today, Broadway says bye bye to Beanie in "Funny Girl," and the entire production of "COMPANY."  The last is a loss, the first a blessing.  We have tickets to see Julie in August, and cannot wait, and are curious to see what happens when Lea and Tovah step in.  Miss Lea had better watch herself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   July gave us our first real heat wave, and it was scorching.

                                                    And I had some time with Dexter yesterday.

                                                     So, that was July.  Hot, fun, and cool--at least inside.  Just the way we like.

                                                       Next time I post, it will be August, which promises lots of drama, and which I have always had ambivalent feelings about since childhood, because the next month is always September, which means the year is slowly winding down, and I forever associate it with Back To School.

                                                          Wish us luck in August, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, I Need Some Cerulean In My Closet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        "Why is no one reaaaaaady??????????"

                                        "Have you got Demarchelier?"

                                      "I will deal with all of this."

                                        Like I have said, girls, summer is just speeding by.  So, now I am looking over my closet--I am not even thinking about fall, yet! --and I see it lacks cerulean!!!!!!!!  I mean, how can that be?  I am not to be outdone by Blake Lively!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Can someone even get me Demarchelier?   Where is my coffee?  I want it hot, not tepid!

                                             See what I am up against, girls?  And all I ask for is a little cerulean!

                                              What are you up against, darlings???????????????????????????

When It Rains, It Pours, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   I keep hearing, in my head, BARBRA singing "When the sun comes out/And the rain stops knockin' on my windowpane."  This by way of inviting all you out there to "Svengoolie's" screening of the 1975 film, "The Devil's Rain.," tomorrow evening, at 8PM.

                                                    I do this, with reluctance.  If you have seen the film, you know why.  For those who have not, tune in to see how awful, and boring a film can be.

                                                     This, despite having a galaxy of TV stalwarts, like Ernest Borgnine, William Shatner, Ida Lupino, John Travolta, Keenan Wynn, and Joan Prather, among others.  Keenan was compensated for this dreck by appearing in one of cinema's all-time masterworks that year, Robert Altman's "Nashville."  As for Ernest Borgnine, well, following his success as the boss everyone loved to hate, and see killed, in 1971's "Willard," he began appearing in a slew of films, where he was often the demented leader of some cult.  My favorite of these was "Deadly Blessing," a1981 film featuring Sharon Stone, where he played some twisted Amish like leader.  The ad was the most famous item about the film--a picture of a woman screaming in a bathtub, legs up and spread, as a snake pops out of the water, between them.  Yeah, I know.   But I am telling you, everyone went to see it, and because it was directed by Wes Craven it was actually good.

                                                     No such luck with this one.  If you must watch, girls, the best to hope for is Kerwyn, and maybe a cameo by Toonie, because "Sventoonie" does not return till the fall.

                                                        When it comes to trash like this, give me "The Initiation Of Sarah," or "Satan's Schol For Girl" any day--or night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   

                                               

                                                      

When The Family Annilhator Is Female, It Seems Doubly Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Medea started it all, darlings.  Once, I used to write about all sorts of crime cases on here, but the ones that get me of late are the family annilhators.  And while John List, on November 9, 1971, set the gold standard, the last crime I covered on here was the Hart family murders, where a lesbian couple, Jennifer and Sara Hart, killed themselves and six children by driving off a 100-foot cliff in Mendocino County, CA, on March 26, 2018.  Family annilhation and females are certainly ramping off.  Remember "The Perfect Nanny," by Leila Slimani, published back in 2016?

                                       On Tuesday, July 26, the bodies of four people were found murdered in a house in Danbury, CT.  They were found by the husband of the mother, though it was not clear if he was living with them.  But the mother and children lived with others in the house, who were not home at the time of the incident.

                                          The mother, Sonja Loja, 36, from Ecuador, had been running an illegal day care center for several years.  On the day of the incident, she phoned clients to say she would not be able to care for the children that day.

                                           She went on to strangle all three children, Junior Panjon, 12, Joselyn Panjon, 10, and Jonael Panjon, 5.  Then she went into the backyard shed to hang herself, where she was eventually found.  The children were discovered first, inside.

                                             When I first heard the story, I, of course, thought first it was the husband.  But as the tragedy unfolded, it left me wondering.  When Loja started on one of the children, why didn't one or both of the others run out into the street, screaming for help?  They might have been able to save themselves.  What could have possessed the mother to do such a thing?  This was not just being a bitch, like Casey Anthony, but I suspect rage over something built up over a period of time.  Fine, so kill yourself, not the children!  This reminds me so much of Susan Smith, back in 1994; those children did not have to be killed, because her husband, David, said then, he would have taken them.  I am sure Loja's husband, or family, would have done the same, so there was no excuse for harming those children.  It is too bad Loja did not survive; there might eventually be answers, not to mention I would love seeing her prosecuted and put away for life.

                                                 Meanwhile, three innocent souls are dead, presumably being cared for by the angels.

                                                   How much more?  When does it stop??????????????????

 

                                     

                                        

A Glaring Admisson From Yesterday's List!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I am talking about the list of potential films I hope "Sventoonie" deconstructs in his upcoming season.  One I left out is 1964's "The Flesh Eaters."  Oh, boy, is this something.

                                 It starts out something like "She Demons."  A group of people are stranded on a deserted island, which was clearly shot either on Long Island or Fire Island.  It is inhabited by Martin Kosleck as Peter Bartel, a mad scientist--is there any other????????--who is experimenting with chemicals to concoct a liquid that consumes human flesh.  Now, why would anyone want to do this?  Power, I am sure, but these types never face the sobering fact--with all the world populaces gone, whom does one rule over?????????

                                   Meanwhile, the film is stolen by Rita Morley, who plays a Princess Kosmonopolis  (or, as she is better known, Alexandra del Lago, in Tennessee Williams' "Sweet Bird Of Youth') type, who is clearly channeling Lauren Bacall.  So much so I wonder why Bacall was not recruited for this production, but then who would expect her to do this piece of crap?  Not she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      The movie is pretty slow moving, but it culminates when this big blob thing, pictured, emerges from the water, and just about fills the entire TV screen.  It looks so ridiculous I have to wonder how, on this budget, the special effects department achieved such a thing.

                                         Which is reason enough to watch the film, and to be featured on "Sventoonie."

                                           Girls, I am telling you, it is a riot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     

Darlings, How About A Summer Lunch, At Balthazar?????????????????????

                                 Summer is steadily slipping away, girls, and I think we all deserve a summer luncheon.  Not one of those spread sheet Civil War graveside picnics, nor a Jane Austen country "Sense And Sensibility" type.  I mean, be real!  In this heat?  With things crawling and scratching below you?  And in those gowns????????  How the hell did they ever do it.

                                  Selecting our best summer frocks, I suggest a lunch at Balthazar.  Who knows, we may run into ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!  And wouldn't that be exciting?

                                     Just think, elegant coolness in the midst of the hottest time of year.  And ANNA.  Who could resist such a proposal?

                                       We shall see if my suggestion comes through.  If so, I will give you a full report.

                                        And the latest from ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How One Describes "The Minutes" Depends On One's Perception!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Interpretation is the least definitive thing about Tracy Letts' play, "The Minutes," which David and I saw at its closing performance, on Sunday.  More definitive is the quality of the direction, (Anna D. Shapiro, again) acting, set design; actually, the entire production.

                                           Jessie Mueller, long our musical theater treasure, sings not a note in her performance as clerk Mrs. Johnosn, and she proves herself adept at not only blending into a solid acting ensemble, but one with some quite Grade A actors.

                                             These include Mr. Letts himself, who, as Mayor Superba, gives both a genial and dark performance.  Old timers Blair Brown and Austin Pendleton--he, especially--liven things up with their dismissals of bureaucracy, having been in it too long, but the one who really walks off with the show is Sally Murphy, a Steppenwolf veteran, who, like Jessie, played Julie Jordan in Lincoln Center's "Carousel," back in 1994.   Imagine, this production has two Julies.  As Mrs. Matz, Sally Murphy is more interesting for what she does--her quirks, her mannerisms--than what she says.  She does have one of my favorite lines, however--"I have to take too much goddamn medication!" which I can relate to.  Her busyness distinguishes her as an actress finding her way this way to each character she plays.  Good as everyone is, Sally is hard to miss.

                                                As for the darker aspects of "The Minutes," you may want to stop here, because while I will not reveal the literal ending, I may make enough references that may inform you enough to make a reasonable guess.

                                                I knew I was on the right track, when the council members started enacting onstage the story of what happened in "the creek incident," back in the 1800's.  At some point in the proceedings, I said to myself, "This is like the 1956 film, 'The Searchers'."  Within minutes, that film is actually referenced in the play.

                                                 As for the ending, I shall only reference "Lord Of The Flies," by William Golding, and "The Lottery," by Shirley Jackson.  As for what happened to missing council member Mr. Carp, well, you tell me.  I have my own idea of what happened, based on the ending and what I think is about to happen to Mr. Peel, but I am not sure I would be agreed with.  And that is just fine.

                                                 "The Minutes" operates on the premise that we are all our own worst enemies.  And that we prefer our illusions to the actual truth.  The question of how far we will go to maintain such is open to debate, which is what the final, shocking moments of "The Minutes" makes clear.

                                                    Is the status quo really the safer route?  Or is it heinously dangerous?

                                                    I know what I think.  Catch a subsequent production of this play, of which there are sure to be many, and see what you think.  "The Minutes" should be seen.  It fits in with our times but is applicable to any.

                                                       Hurry up, girls.  The clock is ticking..........

                                                      And don't we all just love that little bird?????????   What a satiric riff on "1776!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ten Things Needed To Know About Lea Michele!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                

                                                 1. Lea Michele is a bitch.

                                                2.  Lea Michele is a Bitch.

                                                3.  Lea Michele is a BItch.

                                                 4. Lea Michle is a BITch.

                                                 5. Lea Michele is a BITCh.

                                                  6. Lea Michele is a BITCH.

                                                  7. Lea Michele killed Naya Rivera and got away with it.

                                                 8.  Lea Michele is illiterate.

                                                  9. Lea Michele is a bully and a racist.

                                                10. Lea Michele will NOT be able to save "Funny Girl."

                                       Now, darlings, the last question is key, because one cannot salvage an already sinking ship, and this production was doomed from the day it was announced, as the producers and the director had the wrong concept altogether.  In fact, their concept boiled down to one word--cheap.

                                         That thing can be gotten away with in London--after all, what do they know about musicals? --but it will not work over here.  And it hasn't; from the first rehearsal footage I saw of the show, to the actual product, the casting, everything that could go wrong with it did.  And while Lea may think of herself as the NEW BARBRA, she is not, and I am not sure BARBRA herself could save this production.  Well, maybe with the singing, but that is it.  With her back the show would be reduced to a one-woman concert.  Which is maybe what audiences want.

                                         Which will not come from Lea.  Oh, she will sing better than Beanie, she will try her darndest to act nice, but soon the facade will slip away, as will her resilience for doing eight shows a week, which she has not had to do in at least fifteen years.

                                             Really, the team should just let Julie Benko bask in her newfound glory, and take the show out to a gentle closing, rather than a crashing flop Beanie would have left it, and now Lea.

                                               Next, after Lea?  Call me, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           

                       

                                                  

Do Such Things Exist In Real Life???????????????

                                    One of my favorite scenes in "The Devil Wears Prada," besides Meryl's "Stuff Monologue," is the scene where Emily show Andrea "the book," being a mock-up of the current issue of "Runway" magazine, in the film, being put out.

                                      The concept of such fascinates me, and, having never held a job like Andrea's or Emily's, though I certainly could, darlings, and I am available, only give me enough time to select my summer wardrobe, like Demarchelier.

                                        But, really, some of you out there must be in the field, so perhaps my question could be answered.  Are book mock-ups common for each magazine issue, be it "VOGUE" or otherwise?  Or has our overly technologized society done away with such delicious creative endeavors?  

                                         Any takers here?  How about lunch at The Pines?   How about the ANNA Special?????????????????

A Little Known Fact About The Movie Poster For Hitchcock's "The Birds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               Now, I am sure we have all seen this poster countless times and have wanted it for ourselves.  I mean, girls, who wouldn't?

                                  Looking at it now, I am sure everyone out there takes for granted that the woman being attacked in the center, is 'Tippi' Hedren.  It would seem to be a replica of the scene where she is attacked by birds in the attic, near the climax of the film.

                                   Reading up on this film, I discovered the aforementioned not to be.  The woman pictured, it turns out, is not 'Tippi' Hedren, but Jessica Tandy.  True, it does not much look like her, but think about the scene in the Brenner house, where the sparrows come down the chimney, into the living room.  At one point, Tandy's hair gets undone like this, and she assumes this position.   

                                     Or did she just inspire the pose, and they drew on 'Tippi's' face????????????

                                     On matters like this, I believe what is said.  So, till proven otherwise I inform you all the woman in the poster is Jessica Tandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        But I still want 'Tippi's' green outfit, and fur coat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Did These Girls Get Their Makeover At Sally Hershberger? Does She Now Do Teeth Bleaching??????????????????????????

                                I have wanted to see the 1960 movie, "The Brides Of Dracula," for a very long time, and I got my chance, last Saturday night on "Svengoolie."  Considering that "Sventoonie" was not on, this gem from Hammer, made in 1960, almost made up for it.

                                Notice the one on the left.  That is Gina, played by Andree Melly, and she is the most famous of all the brides.  Her image was even used in a card game during the 1960's--Milton Bradley's "Monster Old Maid," which I had.  She was mistakenly labeled "Dracula's Daughter," and was designated as the "Old Maid."  Can you imagine?

                                 These girls are just having fun, giggling and carrying on, like any other group of schoolgirls.  The entire film is simply fun.  Little Pippin especially loved the set and costume designs.  And the lush color.

                                      A nubile woman named Danielle is on her way to be a teacher at a girls' school, where all the students are nubile and aged beyond their supposed years.  And yet, Mona Washbourne (who played Mrs. Pearce, in the 1964 film of "My Fair Lady!") runs the place like some sort of 19th century European Miss Porter's.  Meanwhile, in Von Meister Castle, Martita Hunt (yes, Miss Havisham of David Lean's 1947 "Great Expectations!") dressed in a stunning gown with a red and black cape, sizes up Danielle, where she is forced to stay at the inn.  The Baroness extends her the courtesy of the castle, and before we know it, there is a handsome blond young man chained and wailing outside Danielle's bedroom.  It turns out he wants Daneille, but not in the way one would think.  Over dinner, the Baroness reveals the chained man is her son, who is feeble-minded.  Of course, Danielle goes digging, and through a set of circumstances, unleashes the son, who turns out to be a vampire, and the first person he destroys is his mother.  Wouldn't Sophocles be proud?  Martita now being out of the picture, I feared the film's liveliness would be lost, but she has one final moment, where she comes back as a vampire, and Peter Cushing, as an always on the prowl Van Helsing, drives that stake through her heart.

                                     The young Baron's plan is clear--he wants to make vampires out of all those nubile schoolgirls.  Hence, "The Brides Of Dracula."  He only succeeds in the two pictured here, Andree, as Gina, and her girlfriend, the Village Girl, played by Marie Devereux.

                                      He is played by handsome young (40!) actor David Peel, whose next to last film this was.  The filmmakers wanted Christopher Lee--this was intended as a sequel to 1958's "Horror Of Dracula," but they could not afford Lee.  I think they did better with peel--a hot, blond, vampire!  

                                      But the movie plays fast and loose with the vampire myth.  After stakes are driven, crucifixes shoved into faces, and holy water scalding the undead, Dracula and his brides are destroyed by fire, in a windmill where they are hiding.  The whole long shot looks like a Technicolor recreation of the mill scene in Universal's original, 1931, "Frankenstein."  True, Robert Paige, as Frank Stanley, burned his lover, Kay Caldwell, played by Louise Allbritton, while in her coffin by day, in 1943's "Son Of Dracula."  So, maybe this wasn't a stretch!

                        Next to Martita Hunt and Andree Melly, the liveliest performance is Freda Jackson, a horror veteran, as Greta, the housekeeper.  She starts out doing an imitation of Katina Paxinou in "For Whom The Bell Tolls," then descends into a vampiric sort of madness so incredulous, it descends to the level of camp!  Once she gets tossed off a terrace, the picture is almost done!

                                                                              

 '                                   But Andree, as Gina, is the most famous of the 'Brides.'  Her foundation almost matches fine.

                                      "Fangs a million," I am sure she is saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sad, And Good News--This Was The Last "Sventoonie," But He Will Return In The Fall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Girls, I am telling you, "Sventoonie" is the most fun-filled comic relief TV has said since Amy Sedaris, and it is a shame she does not come back on.  "Messiah Of Evil" was the last "Sventoonie" for this season, but he has been renewed for the Fall, meaning more than just us residing here love him.  And Trevor. And, of course, Blob E. Blob.

                                       For awhile though, it will be strange, ending "Svengoolie" without a "Sventoonie" to look forward to.  We already have experienced that, as shall be reported.  But the promise of a return of "Sventoonie" is enough to keep as calm for the remaining summer months.  I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to seeing "Sventoonie" and company in the fall.  Here are some films I hope he deconstructs--1.  "The Horror Of Party Beach."

                       2. "She Demons."

                       3. "Spider-Baby."

                       4. "The Baby."

                       5. "Curcuru, Beast Of The Amazon."

                      6. "Reptilicus."

                       7. ""Plan 9 From Outer Space."

                       8.  "The Hideous Sun Demon."

                       9. "The Curse Of The Living Corpse."

                     10. "Horror Hotel."

                     Those just happen to be my picks, darlings.  I am sure all of you out there have more, so any suggestions, just add them to your comments.

                        I can't wait to see what "Sventoonie" comes up with!!!!!!!!!!!

       

                 

                      

So, Darlings, Let's Pick Up Where We Left Off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     My last post, on July 14, talked about the upcoming "Svengoolie" screening of "The Ghost And Mr. Chicken," which was definitely NOT one of 1965's gems, like "The Sound Of Music," or "Doctor Zhivago."  It is not even worth talking about, except to say it proved that Don Knotts was very good at being Deputy Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show," and that was it.  When the Fife persona is expanded, as here, into a two-hour film, the stretch is interminable.

                                         Inevitably, "Sventoonie's deconstructed film, 1973's "Messiah Of Evil," was the better part of the evening.  It was also--but wait, girls, that is for another post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Remember the Los Angeles Christmas sequence in 1977's "Annie Hall," seen from a car window, as it drives past a movie theater showing "House Of Exorcism?"  "Messiah Of Evil" should have been on a double bill with that.

                                           Of course, nobody in this film went anywhere, career wise.  But it has an interesting visual style, and a plethora of stylized color I could see influencing David Lynch.  Aside from that, the story is sub-par.  A young woman goes to a seaside coast California town, searching for her missing artist father.  She happens on a cult of the undead, and the film ends with a plot twist going all the way back to 1919's "The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari."  

                                              Infinitely better than "The Ghost And Mr. Chicken."

                                              And just who or what is the "Messiah Of Evil?" Find that one out for yourselves, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, What Can I Say? The Computer Died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Actually, it was the hard drive.  It died a week ago Monday morning, and, girls, I am telling you, I am so sorry for being off so long, and missing you all.  So, what have we missed?  A lot, and I will do my best to catch up to you, as well as post any new ideas which may surface.

                                 Heaven help dead computers!  They should not be allowed to die.  Having grown up in a world where they were just fantasies, I now find myself screaming how I cannot live without one.  I never thought I would become this.  I mean, now it informs my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  While I inform you of mine.  

                                   As I have heard it said, "put some gratitude in your attitude."

                                  I have a lot of both, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Again, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Girls, I am afraid this will be one week when "Sventoonie," no matter what film is deconstructed, will prove better than Svengoolie's presentation, which is "The Ghost And Mr. Chicken."  Someone had the not so bright idea of making Don Knotts into a comic movie star; it did not work.  While not as bad as The Three Stooges, it is boring and moronic.

                                             It was last broadcast sometime in April of 2021, and Svengoolie claims that, along with 1948's "Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein," it is one of the most frequently requested titles.  The latter film I can understand, being of better quality; even if low end for Universal, it still maintains some of that studio's artistry.  But 'Mr. Chicken' is just plain stupid.  Even Blob E. Blob is sad about its being shown.

                                             So, my suggestion, girls, is, if you have never seen it, watch it, and see for yourselves how boring it is.   Or just tune in to "Sventoonie," and see what surprise is in store.

                                             Saturday fun these days is wherever we find it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wildwood Crest Has Become The Real Life "Shit's Creek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                     That spelling makes sense, dears, because it has been reported human fecal matter has been found in water along its beaches.   This does not surprise me for a minute.

                                         Wildwood Crest is a low-end resort town, where the White Trash of Jersey, or their wannabes, go for summer fun.  Only how much fun can one have in a shit ridden ocean?  I can guarantee you, there will be no shark sightings here, as no self-respecting shark will go near this literal crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          From all I have heard about the "Crest contingent," it could not happen to a more deserving bunch.  So, plan your vacation spot accordingly, darlings!

                                            Trash is as trash does!  And it knows damn well where to float to!!!!!!!!!!

"Now You Watch Your Mouth, Watch Your Mouth, Miss Lea Michele! Cause We Don't Take That Tone From Some Former TV Diva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  Indeed.  The "Funny Girl" saga continues, and will do so, as long as the production is running at the August Wilson Theatre. Whose future I question.

                                   I hope that when Lea walks into the August Wilson for the first time, one of the cast or crew walks up to her, and says that "Dreamgirls" paraphrase above, then smacks her across the face.  This to let her know she is NOT, as she thinks, the new BARBRA, nor Broadway's Queen Bee.  And if that does not work, and Lea continues with her reputed viciousness, you can bet Miss Tovah Feldshuh will take her aside, and read her the riot act.

                                      All of which makes me worried about the show.  Lea, after all the bad publicity, needs this career boost badly, and if she fails, that finishes her, professionally.  I have no doubt she can sing the score, but can she sustain eight shows a week?  Excuse me; already they are running into trouble because Lea, once signed, demanded two nights off a week.  Who the hell does she think she is?  The producers capitulated to one night off, Thursday, which is when Julie Benko will go on.  I can almost guarantee Lea will give Julie the Margo Channing treatment, which is a joke because Benko has such a stronger grasp on the show, having done it so many times, it begs the question why she was not given the role in the first place.  Remember, this is a story about a girl from nowhere who gets somewhere, and, with BARBRA, the stories were parallel.  The same could have been done with Julie's casting, but who cares about art, anymore?  So, Miss Lea, you had better damn well measure up, onstage and off, or this will be the final nail in your career coffin, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Now, about Jane Lynch.  First, she was leaving September 25, like Beanie.  Then Beanie came forth with her message that she was leaving July 31, and now the producers are scrambling to cover their asses, trying to say they were not blindsided, that they knew this all along, when they really did not.  As for Jane, I am sure when she heard Lea was coming on board, she wanted no part of that, after years of "Glee."  But now the spin is she is leaving, not July 31, but September 4, which means when David and I go to see it, on August 27, we will see Jane in the role of Mrs. Brice.

                                         Or will we?  Because today I read in some pieces that Jane is still leaving with Beanie, while others say September 4!  What is going on, "Funny Girl" people--producers and publicists?  Why all the hush, hush, surrounding every move made during this production?  And no Original Cast Album of this show?  Or will Lea do it?

                                            The rumor flies that Lea was a done deal, a week after the TONY Awards, and I believe it.  Another source says one unnamed producer, who I admire, wanted to let Beanie go, after the reviews.  Only Big Mama Sonia Friedman did not have the heart to fire Beanie.  And look what happened?

                                              One thing can be said for Lea.  With director Michael Mayer being gay and married, she did not have to go under the restaurant table and blow him, like Anatole Litvak did to Paulette Goddard in the 1940's, at either The Brown Derby, or Chasen's.  But then, this is someone who showed Jonathan Groff her vagina during at least one performance of "Spring Awakening," and Groff was disgusted.  Who can blame him?  I don't want to see Lea's thing!  I would have gone to the Equity Deputy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               I wonder who the deputy is on this show?  I have a feeling he or she will be working overtime, once Lea arrives.

                                                But that will not be till September, and I promise a full report of the August 27 performance we see.

                                                 As I said, the saga will continue.  Remember what Olympia Dukakis said in "Moonstruck--"

                                                 "It isn't over, till it's over."

Happy Bastille Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Leave it to me to find an unusual picture. But really, with that Parisian sunset, and the gargoyle, isn't that a beautiful shot.

                                     Let me clarify something.  "Les Miserables" is NOT about the French Revolution, so don't play the cast album as a celebration.  Better to watch or read "A Tale Of Two Cities."  Especially the 1935 film, with the climactic fight between Blanche Yurka, as Madame Defarge (who steals the movie) and Edna Mae Oliver!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Or enjoy champagne with peaches in the middle of the afternoon!

                                     However you choose to celebrate this day, dears, have a blast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dumb Bug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why The Hell Is It Leaving New York City For New Jersey????????????????????????????

                                     This is one of the many hilarious things about Universal's 1957 giant monster movie, "The Deadly Mantis," shown last Saturday on "Svengoolie."  The monster is apprehended in the Holland Tunnel, while trying to escape the bright lights of NYC for the Garden State of Jersey!  Why? I mean, I was raised in that state, and if there was not much there for me, there certainly isn't much for a gigantic praying mantis.

                                       Now, earlier, I said I would reveal how the mantis was accomplished.  It was done in three ways.  The first, and most impressive, was that a 200-foot Papier Mache mantis was built for some scenes.  In others, like when it pops up from the snow crevice, a puppet was used.  And, in the sequence where it is scaling the Washington Monument, a real praying mantis was placed on a miniature monument.

                                         And here is another thing.  I thought it was "preyiing mantis," when it is actually "praying mantis."  Why?  Is the bug Catholic???????????

                                            Another thing to note--the plot sets up William Hopper to be the romantic interest of Alix Talton as Marge, the magazine editor, but she ends up two-timing him for Craig Stevens. Also, Paul Smith's performance as an overtly horny hetero Corporal, livens things up.

                                              All told, though, the mantis steals the show.  And it turned out to be the highlight of the evening.

                                          Because the film Sventoonie chose to deconstruct this past week was one we never heard of or wanted to again.  This was a 1973 film, "The Werewolf Of Washington," where Dean Stockwell--thirteen years before "Blue Velvet"-- plays a presidential cabinet adviser who becomes a werewolf.  It borrows heavily from Universal's 1941 classic, "The Wolf Man," and is as cheesy as hell.  Though the make-up is pretty good.  But, after "The Deadly Mantis," something better than this was deserved.  Oh, well, at least lovable Blob E. Blob was there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             But, girls, if you missed it, you just HAVE to see "The Deadly Mantis."

                                         Poor, lonely little Deadly Mantis Doll.  Won't you take him home, and give him some love?????????????????????????

                                                                                     

Sometimes Waiting Is Worth It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  I had never seen "The Music Man" on stage.  I had missed the last several revivals, and when this one was announced, while I was happy it was playing at the Winter Garden, my favorite theater, (because of "MAME" and "FOLLIES" having played there) I was a little worried about Sutton Foster, whose voice is not in the range of Marion, like her originator, the great Barbara Cook.  However, I am happy to report, on July 7, when David and I, plus some friends of ours, caught the matinee, all fears vanished.

                                   There is an unseen star onstage, and that is Warren Carlyle's choreography.  Like Justin Peck, with "Carousel" four years ago, he has made this "Music Man" more dance centric, and the entire cast, including a good number of children are more than up to it.

                                     As soon as Hugh Jackman launched into "Trouble," and Sutton Foster got the emotionality of "Goodnight, My Someone," I knew this production was in good hands.  Foster does something darker and interesting with Marian that I had never seen before.  She is a match for Hugh Jackman.  The sheer high we had expected to obtain from seeing "Funny Girl" months earlier, was more than compensated for by this performance of "The Music Man."  I am still on a high from it, even as I write.

                                      Not since "Carousel," four years before, have I seen such a perfectly realized musical production.  And the audience agreed.  As soon as the Overture burst out into "Seventy-Six Trombones," the theater began clapping in rhythm.  And when Harold and Marian embraced at the climax of "Till There Was You," people were applauding, and I was crying real tears.

                                         Especially beautiful and heartbreaking was Benjamin Pajak's touching performance as Winthrop Paroo, Marian's kid brother.  The chemistry between he and Foster was emotionally palpable. Same with Marie Finn as Mrs. Paroo, Jayne Houdyshell as the Mayor's Wife, Shuler Hensely as Marcellus Washburn, and Emily Jewel Hoder as Amaryllis.  As for the ensemble, every step, every note they sang, I wanted to be up there with them.

                                            Thank God for Santo Lopqasto's sets and costumes; he is still Broadway's best.  And this type of musical is Jerry Zaks' directorial element.  This "Music Man" marches perfectly to the beat of Meredith Wilson's lush score, and I am so glad I waited for this production to see it.

                                                Girls, see this immediately, with your someone, or the someone you still wish for.  It will send your emotions soaring on a joyous and hopeful note.

                                                   Enjoy it while you can. Shows like this are not done anymore.

                                                                            

The Bubble Has Finally Exploded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                               

                                      Darlings, I am telling you, when the smoke clears, and history settles in, this could be the "All About Eve" of our time.  Going back almost a year, to when it was announced Beanie Feldstein would perform the lead in "Funny Girl," I, like many intelligent Theater Queens, knew she was wrong for the role.  And when I saw the performance, on April 2, well, it was worse than I thought.  Then came the reviews.  Then no TONY nomination.  And Beanie, a garden variety spoiled brat, acted like such, missing performances, saying how much she cared about her dream, when she had lost it.  Let me tell you, if I was performing a dream role, nothing, not even the critics, could stop me from getting out there and doing it.  Did you know Richard Feldstein, her father, was one of the show's producers?  And that Beanie did not even have to audition for the role?  Which explains why, before a single performance was given, she requested, and got days off.  Some just four days after the opening.   There was no doubt, girls, Daddy bought his dumpling a Broadway show.

                                        But when Beanie did not get the reviews or the TONY nod, she just lost interest, and started skipping shows.  Plus, she got engaged to be married, so that, not the show, became her priority.  Hey, Beanie is not only a non-team player, but she is also fickle.  And, yes, spoiled.  So, she and Jane Lynch announced their departures from the show, to take place on September 25.  Fine.  Many of us couldn't wait to see Beanie go; especially those having seen her perform.

                                            However, this past Sunday, Beanie busted forth and announced she would be leaving on July 31, two months before scheduled.  Jane Lynch, too.  Something was going on.  With Beanie, it was simply that the producers finally owned to having made a mistake, savaging any future career for director Michael Mayer, and deservedly.  So, it is farewell and good riddance to Beannie, who, in ten years, will be a Long Island housewife with a baby, unless Daddy promotes her in some Off-Broadway vanity show which no one will come to see.  She is almost as nuts as Bette Davis in 'Baby Jane!' The producers, in order to cut ties with Beanie sooner, fired her, and bought out her contract.  Hey, it couldn't happen to a better person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                As for Jane....Lynch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Yesterday, it was announced that Lea Michele, and Tovah Feldshuh, would replace Beanie and Jane, beginning September 6.  Someone must have been reading this blog, because I have been touting Tovah ever since Jane's departure was announced.  I even said Tovah should have been cast in the first place.  So, I am dancing all over the place, for her!

                                                Now, Lea Michele is the snake in the grass of this whole story.  I remember her less than stellar performance of "Don't Rain On My Parade," on the 2011 TONY Awards.  This was to have served as a sort of audition for her to do "Funny Girl."  But Lea screwed up, so everyone thought that was it for Lea's chances.  Except for Lea.

                                                    That whole bit, about her having dinner with Michael Mayer, saying what a wonderful choice Beanie was, and sending Beanie a congratulatory card about her being "the greatest star" was pure bullshit.  In reality, Lea was gunning from the role even then, probably having learned that Daddy bought her the show, because otherwise Beanie would not get it.  Lea knew Beanie would implode, and when she did, there she would be, ready to go on.  Which is pretty much what happened.  I mean, she got away with Naya Rivera's murder, so to step into the Anne Baxter/Eve Harrington role is nothing for Lea.

                                                         However, Lea screwed up once, she could do it again.  At 35, even from a stage distance, her skin looks hardened.  Can she sustain the show's schedule?  She had requested two nights off, but was only granted Thursday, when Julie Benko will go on.  Julie will also perform exclusively from August 2 to September 4, so already she has more shows under her belt than Lea.  I am sure when Lea and Julie cross paths, Lea will let her know up front who the Queen Bee at the August Wilson Theatre is.  Which explains why Jane Lynch is departing early; after bearing several years of Lea's behavior, she does not want any more.  I don't blame her.

                                                           Yes, dears, the bubble has exploded, but the story will go on.  I am sure, once this show is done, someone will reveal the truth, which may be more than even I have recorded.  My hope is if Lea acts up, Tovah, a gracious lady, but also a tough cookie who has been around theater longer than Lea, will set her straight.  But that remains to be seen.

                                                                David and I will be seeing Lea and Tovah.  We have to, just to see if Lea can claim to do what she has maintained all along.

                                                                 It is certainly too bad Al Hirschfeld is not around.  I would love to end this post with a cartoon of his, showing Beanie getting her fat ass booted out of the August Wilson Theatre, and Broadway, for good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                  See you on the aisle, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               

Girls, Tomorrow Night, It's "The Deadly Mantis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                     Darlings, I am sorry, but I have GOT to talk about the poster!  Isn't this one of the greatest ever seen?  Those ominous words--"This Was The Day That Engulfed The World In Terror."  I am telling you; the Universal publicity department must have had a field day with this one, going all out.  I really think it is one of their best.

                                                         Veterans Craig Stevens and William Hopper are on hand, with the femme lead played by Alix Talton, who only makes evident they could not get Mara Corday or Faith Domergue, as she channels both throughout.  This is a camp fest, and I have found out how the special effects were done and let me tell you, they are cheesy.  I will share this with you during our post film discussion, when we will know then what "Sventoonie" is planning to deconstruct.

                                                             As stated before, due to plans, David and I cannot watch this in real time.  But don't let yourselves get stopped from missing this cherished camp classic.  I have been hoping they would show this for weeks.

                                                               Some things are waiting for, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       "See you Saturday night, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

How The Hell Does One Play Connect Four???????????????????????????

                                      Forget video games, girls, I cannot begin to understand them.  I am from the generation of board games--I had them all, save "Pirate And Traveler," and "Game Of The States."

                                       Those still around draw me in with their colors.  So, how about Connect Four?  I love the look, and the colors, but what the hell is it?  It reminds me of a computer toy I had years ago called Think-A-Dot, where you dropped marbles into slots to change blue to yellow, and vice versa, in some kind of pre-techno Tik Tak Toe.

                                          This game seems to take things to the next level.  Is it Tik Tak Toe, Checkers, Chess, or what?  Has anyone played this?  Owned it?  Can anyone explain?  Like the line from "Frank Mills" goes, "I would gratefully appreciate it...."

                                           I know this one is still out there.  So, it must have something going for it.

                                            Is this for math majors only?????????????????

Here Is What My Re-Reading "Of Human Bondage" Will Look Like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          That's me, on the far right, with the most fabulous period gown, darlings!!!!!!!!!!  To re-read something like "Of Human Bondage" is to step back into another time and spend a lot of it there.  So, I am still debating whether I should take this on, or not, though some unknown force is compelling me to.  And literary compulsions usually lead me into a good direction.

                                             Or maybe I just want the period, and that gown!  Hell, it's a lot better than slatternly Mildred's seedy wardrobe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               So, why is she the novel's most interesting character?  Maybe because of Bette Davis?????????????????

                                                 However things turn out, I will let you know what I decide!!!!!!!!!!!!