Girls, It's Not As Easy As You Think

Let me tell you up front, girls, being gay in New York is not as easy as it seems. Freedom and options come with a price whether that be STD's or discarding your porno sex fantasy notions in favor of reality. Oh, and when I say girls, I mean all you gay guys out there, because from my vantage point the butcher the guy the more inwardly Nelly he is. That's Nelly, not NEELY.

What do you think of this, girls? Two men go out for a two year plus period. They are seen there and about at all the right restaurants. Their sex life may not be perfect, but, hey, you can't have everything. They go to London for a dream of a literary cum theatre trip. The partner calls it their "honeymoon trip" and gives the intended a lovely Victorian night shirt with stripes. I mean, very Cecil Beaton.

Then, just a short time after the two year anniversary, the partner begins to act strangely,
questioning not just the relationship but things he has known about the intended for years, like his penchant for classics and literary ficition, which he then goes on to attack? As well as attacking the intended's friends, whom he has been introduced to, while the intended has not met any of the partner's friends. If, indeed, he had any.

To make matters worse, when problems are recognized and talk begins the intended asks if a break up is desired. This way both can walk away with dignity and no hurt feelings. So what happens? Can you believe this? The partner picks a fight about how they are going to spend the Thanksgiving holiday, and then sends the intended an email saying "I no longer want to have anything to do with you."

Break-up by email? Can you imagine anything more cowardly?

Well, I can girls! Because all of this is exactly what happened to me? Why? Becauase I failed to read signs I did not want to read, and because gay men overall are more coldfooted than their straight coutnerparts when it comes to committment.

I mean, this is just the tip of the iceberg. In their never ending quest to find a relationship, not just get laid, gay men face as much agravation as their straight female contemporaries andt then some!!!!

Everyone says don't for love and it will come. But what happens when you stop looking and it doesn't come. It seems the answer is more gay men need to outgrow their inwardly adolescent behavior before love will find its proverbial way.

Girls, We Just Wanna Have Fun!!!!!!

Darlings, last night the "Sex And The City" screening was so much more exciting than I could have imagined. Let me say first and outright that I AM Miranda. I have her intellectual brilliance, and as my friend with me said, "You are uptight enough." He got that right!!!!!

I am telling you, when Carrie gave Louise the Louis Vuitton bag, I went wild. And when I saw the store door with the name Diane Von Furstenberg on it I screamed! I SO want a Louis Vuitton bag! And a Diane Von Furstenberg original.

Darlings, SATC is what all us gay men want--to be THIN, GORGEOUS, BRILLIANT, HAVE
GREAT SEX--in fact, pretty much what we do anyway. So girls, as I have not realized it till now, this blog will become not only my SATC but an SATC for all gay men. Women are invited to join in.

You think I haven't done the sex clubs? The sex parties? Honey, from 1990 till 1996 I was on the circuit!!!! And darlings let me tell you orgasm leads to exhaustion, which is why I stay at home, read my literature and do facials!!! Like all you girls out there--or that is what you should be doing, girls.

So stay tune, girls. Straight women have Candace/Carrie! Gay men have Michael/The Raving Queen!!!!


Love to all, girls!

Girls, We Have To Get Over This "Sex And The City" Nonsense!!!!!

Darlings, just what are we girls supposed to do? Now that SATC has arrived in movie theaters thousands of those of us who are impressionable, and even those of us who have been around the track are going to be disillusioned over their lives not being defined by the gospel according to Carrie Bradshaw. Well, sweethearts, let me tell you, as far as I am concerned my sex in the city outdoes Carrie and even Samantha's by leaps and bounds. Not just because I know all the fetishes--bet Candance Bushnell and Carrie Bradshaw don't know what FF means--but because in addition to such there is substance and abundance in the way I live my life. I mean, I read books, darling. And not just trash. But serious literature from Jonathan Franzen to Jonathan Safran Foer to Proust. When does anyone in the world of Carrie read?? And what do they read? Fashion ads for products that will become outdated as soon as they buy them? Leading them to buy even more which is what the fashion industry counts on--the gullibility of its customers????

Sweethearts, instead of bemoaning the fact that your life is not "Sex And The City" do what so many of us do instead--look around at the reality of your life and create your OWN SATC. Because it is YOURS it will have more meaning for you than trying to ape Carrie.

As Blanche du Bois said, "I don't want realism, I want magic."

That magic is obtainable if we stay true to ourselves. In Blanche's parlance, you CAN
make enchantment!!!!!

Girls, "Valley Of The Dolls" Goes Great With Coffee!!!!!

Girls, on Sunday mornings there is nothing better than curling up on my luxurious divan in my pink peigenoir watching the screen classic "Valley Of The Dolls." I am telling you, darlings, I AM Neely!!!! Not since Sergei Eissenstein pioneered the Odessa steps sequence in "Potemkin" has the art of montage been used so faitfully. Start with Neely's Rise To Star Montage, from her alarm getting off, to a "Star Is Born" type trio number that even Judy Garland might have thought a litltle stagy, to marriage. Not to mention Barbara Parkins head turns and twists as the Gillian Girl. What more could one ask for on a Sunday morning. And when Patty Duke finally crashes in the gutter, we all want to cry out NEEEEEEEEEELY O'HAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let me tell you, girls, our Sunday morning is complete. Who the hell needs Charles Kurault, anyway?

Girls, Jackie (Sussann) told our lives the way they are! This film is my autobiography! And without coffee it is incomplete. Hell, take a doll with the coffee and blast off!!!!
Get high, girls!!!!!!!

Girls, Teach Your Daughters To Call Their Men "Big Boy!!!"

Girls, from the time I was knee high I found the surest two words guaranteed to get a man to give me what I want were--"Big Boy." So successful is this phrase that a burger chain is named after it.

Just try it out--"Oh, big boy!" "Buy me that at the store, big boy!" "Give it to me all you got, big boy!" Soon you will have everything your heart desires.

"Buy me that house in Great Neck, big boy!"
"Buy me that Van Cleef and Arpels garnet, big boy!"
"I need a new Prada purse, big boy!"

See how much power you can exert over your man with these two words. And think of the results--you will get EVERYTHING you want!

So remember when raising your daughters, girls--the first words out of her mouth should be "Big Boy." Then she will be set for life.

Just like me, girls!!!!!!

Girls, Why Can't You Experience The Radiant Incandescence of "Juno?"

What is wrong with you girls? "Juno" is the freshest most enlightening film in years and Miss Ellen Page is a true star who is sure to be in the pantheon with Meryl. She's young? So what!
She's smart; damn right, she is intellectually brilliant and she is not afraid to play characters who have such, dark or otherwise. If one cannot experience the radiance of "Juno" and Ellen Page, perhaps you aren't ready for building blocks.

Darlings, we all want to be like Ellen Page, a role model for the intelligensia. We want to look like her, dress like her, wear our hair like her. Girls, she is the model young womanhood sorely needs. Forget Brtiney, forget Paris Hilton this is the Page Age and Ellen is the most stunning bearer of this surname since the late great Geraldine Page, whose career hers will be on a par with darlings!!!!!!

Wise up, girls! Do you want to end up an uneducated beautician slut? Because that 's what you will do if you do not heed the brilliance of Miss Page.

Love to all my girls!!!!!

Happy Anniversary, Girls!!!!!

Darlings, today we, this blog are one year old today. Who would have thought we would have survived. From Diana Vreeland to "Cold Case," it has been a year filled with all sorts of bedevilment--and who knows what the following one holds???? But congratulations to you and all my girls who are resonsible--good God am I turning into Sibyl????? Or Sally Field???? Anything but that, even if she does have two Oscars.

So here is to the second year of this blog and hopes for a man and maybe a house in Great Neck!@!!!!

Love you all, darlings!!!!!