Girls, "Valley Of The Dolls" Goes Great With Coffee!!!!!

Girls, on Sunday mornings there is nothing better than curling up on my luxurious divan in my pink peigenoir watching the screen classic "Valley Of The Dolls." I am telling you, darlings, I AM Neely!!!! Not since Sergei Eissenstein pioneered the Odessa steps sequence in "Potemkin" has the art of montage been used so faitfully. Start with Neely's Rise To Star Montage, from her alarm getting off, to a "Star Is Born" type trio number that even Judy Garland might have thought a litltle stagy, to marriage. Not to mention Barbara Parkins head turns and twists as the Gillian Girl. What more could one ask for on a Sunday morning. And when Patty Duke finally crashes in the gutter, we all want to cry out NEEEEEEEEEELY O'HAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let me tell you, girls, our Sunday morning is complete. Who the hell needs Charles Kurault, anyway?

Girls, Jackie (Sussann) told our lives the way they are! This film is my autobiography! And without coffee it is incomplete. Hell, take a doll with the coffee and blast off!!!!
Get high, girls!!!!!!!

Girls, Teach Your Daughters To Call Their Men "Big Boy!!!"

Girls, from the time I was knee high I found the surest two words guaranteed to get a man to give me what I want were--"Big Boy." So successful is this phrase that a burger chain is named after it.

Just try it out--"Oh, big boy!" "Buy me that at the store, big boy!" "Give it to me all you got, big boy!" Soon you will have everything your heart desires.

"Buy me that house in Great Neck, big boy!"
"Buy me that Van Cleef and Arpels garnet, big boy!"
"I need a new Prada purse, big boy!"

See how much power you can exert over your man with these two words. And think of the results--you will get EVERYTHING you want!

So remember when raising your daughters, girls--the first words out of her mouth should be "Big Boy." Then she will be set for life.

Just like me, girls!!!!!!

Girls, Why Can't You Experience The Radiant Incandescence of "Juno?"

What is wrong with you girls? "Juno" is the freshest most enlightening film in years and Miss Ellen Page is a true star who is sure to be in the pantheon with Meryl. She's young? So what!
She's smart; damn right, she is intellectually brilliant and she is not afraid to play characters who have such, dark or otherwise. If one cannot experience the radiance of "Juno" and Ellen Page, perhaps you aren't ready for building blocks.

Darlings, we all want to be like Ellen Page, a role model for the intelligensia. We want to look like her, dress like her, wear our hair like her. Girls, she is the model young womanhood sorely needs. Forget Brtiney, forget Paris Hilton this is the Page Age and Ellen is the most stunning bearer of this surname since the late great Geraldine Page, whose career hers will be on a par with darlings!!!!!!

Wise up, girls! Do you want to end up an uneducated beautician slut? Because that 's what you will do if you do not heed the brilliance of Miss Page.

Love to all my girls!!!!!

Happy Anniversary, Girls!!!!!

Darlings, today we, this blog are one year old today. Who would have thought we would have survived. From Diana Vreeland to "Cold Case," it has been a year filled with all sorts of bedevilment--and who knows what the following one holds???? But congratulations to you and all my girls who are resonsible--good God am I turning into Sibyl????? Or Sally Field???? Anything but that, even if she does have two Oscars.

So here is to the second year of this blog and hopes for a man and maybe a house in Great Neck!@!!!!

Love you all, darlings!!!!!

Girls, You Cannot Underestimate The Importane Of Proper Eye Shadow Applique'!!!!!

Girls, what a March it has been--from Lion to Lamb and back crammed with Lent, St Pat's, Palm Sunday, Holy Week and Easter! Tomorrow, girls, is Spy Wednesday (so spy on someone) St. Jospeh's Day, and of course the day the Swallows come back to Capistrano!!!!!!

More than anything it is important for us girls to keep going, and one way to do so is by proper eye shadow application. I just read that the widely anticipated April release of the "Prom Night" remake (yes , they are redoing the Jamie Lee Curtis) will focus on the killer's motivation as NOT being childhood trauma and a sibling's death by an bunch of suburban brats, but on the telling fact that years before, in childhood, Wendy, who grew up to be the town bitch/whore, would not instruct the killer in proper eye shadow application. What a fucking bitch! Darlings, it is enough to kill anyone, because let me tell you you do not go anywhere outdoors without your eye liner!!!
How you do your eyes can make or break a girl in this world, and "Prom Night 2008" will make it clear to all how this cannot be undervalued.

Meantime, girls, just remember what our doyenne of dance, Miss Donna McKechnie says:
"Get up every morning at eight,
Do your hair, do your face,
Sing your scales,
Limber up at the barre!"

See you at your places, girls!!!!!!

Girls, Let Us Celebrate The Miracle of Donna McKechnie

Sweethearts--

I am telling you there is no excuse for such scurilous filth on the Internet. Today I discovered, going back to August 22, 2006 this article on the then forthcoming revival of "A Chorus Line" by this ersatz writer/dancer named Toba Singer. Girls, she has her own website, and she looks like a cow! I am talking Totie Fields, only without the true artistry that was Miss Fields.

This two ton Tessie Tura has the nerve to criticize Donna McKechnie. How many shows have you stopped, Toba? How good do you look in a red skirt? And just how flexible is that body of yours?

It seems to me Singer is the one with the fixation--on Priscilla Lopez. She goes on to talk about she and Priscilla studied together at the High School of Performing Arts. THEN she has the sheer audacity to committ one of the greatest faux pas in theater history--to violate confidentiality that even Priscilla Lopez has kept all this time as to the true identity of Mr. Karp in "Nothing." I have known many actors who studied there who knew but there was alway a tacit agreement not to reveal him. And so we get it first hand from Tubby Toba!!!!

Says how she studied dance with Phil Black. Sweetie, didn't we all. So did Trini Alvarado!
According to Toba what "A Chorus Line" is really about is she and Priscilla, and not, as she phrases it "Michael Bennett and his morbid fixation on Donna McKechnie."

Excuse me, Toba? Were you part of the creative process of ACL? Were you a member of the original cast. How dare you claim the show is about you! Honey you couldn't do a time step, let alone walk across the street.

As for Mr. Bennett and his morbid fixation on Donna McKechnie, let me tell you this Michael is fixated for the same reason as the other Michael--we both respond to Donna's emotionally impassioned style and artistry, the perfection of that bodily symmetry that, darlings, you know we all want to have, but which only Donna can own!!!!! Donna is a true miracle; while at home recuperating from a shoulder disc slip up and listening to her CD, I heard that inner voice of Donna that all us dancers hear say "Honey, if you can get on your feet--dance!" Before I knew it I was dancing "The Music and The Mirror" full out and feeling no pain!!!!!! The miracle of Donna is how she reaches all artists whether she is present or not. How many artists has Toba Singer reached? With the piece she has written she is sure to alienate more than she will reach.

Michael Bennett, God love him, had a reputation for being a theatrical bitch, but he is no longer with us. But THIS Michael is still here, so let me speak for him--Miss Singer if you say one more scurilous thing agst Donna you will learn from me the true meaning of the word B-I-T-C-H.

Hope everything is beautiful at your ballet, darling!

Girls, We Just LOVE Palmolive Dishwashing Liquid!!!!!

"You're soaking in it.
DISHWASHING LIQUID!!!!!!!
Relax, it's Palmolive!
Really mild?
And it softens hands while you do the dishes."
--Jan Miner as Madge the manicurist

Girls, who would have thought that Palmolive would pave the way for the fashion industry
and Hollywoood? The other night while washing my dishes with said product I noticed how
the color clearly resembled Keira Knightley's gorgeous "Atonement" gown. Darlings, I am
convinced the costume designer of "Atonement" was inspired to create the gown while
washing dishes with Palmolive! If only Jan Miner were here to see how Madge paved the
way for fashion iconography.

So, girls, scrub up tonight with Palmolive as it points you the way towards Hollywood
glamour. And the next time you bitch about housework, think about what product could
be the next trend setter. Maybe Clorox????

Love you all, girls!!!!