Introducing Gay Film #5--1950's "All About Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  Midway is the perfect spot for this film for burgeoning gay youngsters.  When first submitted, Joseph L. Mankiewicz' script was entitled "Best Performance."  Which is pretty accurate because every actor AND every character in this film is giving a performance, but who the hell is the best one?

                                        "All About Eve" makes more sense, for it gives the characters a central point around which they can all revolve.  This film is ideal for young gays in the throes of puberty, because its real title should have been "How To Be A Bitch."  Every character is an absolute bitch; even the understated Karen, played brilliantly by Celeste Holm, and whose fur coat I want to wear!  Because this film prepares young gays for the world, because, let me tell you, darlings, in order to survive in this world as a gay person, you have to be a bitch.  This film, and Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara will teach you how.

                                       Really, it is one of the best written screenplays, and almost every line is quotable.  I will share a few of my favorites at the end, but I admired Mankiewicz using theater to poke subtle fun at Hollywood.  And lunch at 21?  Oh, girls, if you haven't, you simply must.  And, of course, with hats.

                                           My favorite scene is in the theater, when Margo pretends not to know Eve is her understudy.  Probably the best example of ensemble acting captured on film.  Regretfully, Celeste Holm is not in this scene.

                                              Marilyn Monroe, as Miss Caswell, a graduate of The Copacabana School Of Dramatic Arts, has a line I have often wanted to use--"You won't bore him, honey.  You won't even get a chance to talk.'"  A star in the making!

                                                   I also want the dress Celeste wears in The Cub Room scene.  Which ends in her breaking understatement with peals of laughter, realizing something no one else around her will--that Eve has abased herself for nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     The best thing I can say about this film is it is a learning experience, a pleasure to watch, and the verbal sparring is unequaled.

                                                       If this doesn't make you a bitch, nothing will, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Favorite Lines                                                                                                                                                 Lloyd Richards (Hugh Marlowe): "It is about time the piano realizes                                                         it has not written the concerto!"                                                                                                                     Karen Richards (Celeste Holm):  "Don't run out of adjectives, dear."                                                           Birdie (Thelma Ritter) "Well, let's say she thinks only about you."                                                              Margo: "Nice speech, Eve.  But I wouldn't worry too much about                                                              your heart.  You know you can always put that award where your                                                                heart ought to be."

                                                        Max Fabian:  May I say something?                                                                                                              Lloyd Richards:  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                         Eve:  "She was a liar!  She was a LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                        Watch and learn, juniors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!