"Lots of married couples spend an occasional evening, at a cheap hotel."
--John Gavin, as Sam Loomis in "Psycho" (1960).
Those of you having been on here awhile, darlings, know how fascinated I am by the sleaziness of cheap motels, and amusement parks. When I was young, I thought you had to get to the Carolinas, and South Of The Border, for motel trash! But, like Dorothy, I am discovering that fun isn't far from one's own back yard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The way I discovered it was this. My sister has lived in Audubon, PA, as far back as when I was in high school. All her children were raised in the house she is still living in. For decades, the bus trip has been simple--a two hour ride out of the city, onto the Jersey Turnpike, and straight down till getting off at, first King Of Prussia, now, Norristown Transportation Center.
Ever since April, though, the trip has been something of a slog! When David and I took the trip that month, we had no idea what we were in for, so, when the bus suddenly began veering off its usual route, David spoke up, and we learned that the bus was going first to Philadelphia, where we would be forced to endure a 45 minute layover, and get off the bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, you can bet THIS queen raved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here I was, going to Philadelphia, home of "Cold Case," and I was unprepared--no Kathryn Morris hairdo or make-up! Not enough time to solve a cold case, even if I wanted to, though I did notice the spot around the corner from the bus stop, where I am certain all the dealers and hookers hang out!!!!!!!!! Real class, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This last trip, over the past weekend, was not so bad. At least, we were not laid up in Philadelphia so long, and were allowed to remain on the bus, where it was comfortable enough for all!!!!!!!!!!
But the trip going back to New York was so much fun! Girls, I am telling you, you have to see this strip of road, near Mount Laurel Township! Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!
First, by the amount of sand and stones along the roadsides, you can tell you are in South Jersey! But the Truck and Turf Motel, the Bel-Air Motel and Jay's Elbow Room Bar and Lounge are the height of trashiness. Young horn dogs who want a slut and sleaze weekend, here are your dream destinations. You cannot imagine the cheapness! David Lynch could shoot an entire film here! I bet the sheets are freshly hot--and not from being laundered!
And just ninety minutes (or thereabouts) from New York! I am telling you, who needs to go to the Deep South, for trash, when you can go as close as South Jersey?????????????
The Garden State is more than just veggies, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, my God, darlings! When I heard, as far back as January, that Feinstein's 54 Below was going to devote an evening to "Henry, Sweet Henry," hosted, no less, by Original Cast Member, and Musical Theater Legend, Neva Small, I knew I just HAD to be there! So, David and I got tickets immediately.
Anticipation was high. Especially, just weeks before, we encountered Neva Small, herself, at a service honoring the 100 years of the Actors' Temple. We told her we were looking forward to the evening. Especially me.
Ever since hearing the songs, decades ago, I have loved the score of this show, which I never saw. It ran for only 80 performances, from October 23 to December 31, 1967. My parents had promised to take me to see it after the Holidays, but, alas, it closed.
For those who want to know the more substantial history of this show, get hold of a copy of William Goldman's book, "The Season." It is all there.
What is important, for Musical Theater Queens here, is that this was the show that put the late Alice Playten on the map, and earned her a TONY nomination, for her renderings of "Poor Little Person," and her big show-stopper, "Nobody Steps On Kafritz!" Which, by the way, I saw Alice herself perform, live, on the Avery Fisher Hall stage, back on October 25, 2004!!!!!!!! But this is also the show that made Neva Small a Legend Of The Musical Stage. When Bob Merrill realized what the throbbing, emotional quality of her voice could convey--at age 14, no less!!!!!!!!!--he wrote, for her, the number, "I Wonder How It Is." You have to hear it, darlings, especially when she gets to the part, "Sometimes, I just visualize..............!" Oh, my God! Neva just takes your breath away! And she has been doing it ever since!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so psyched for this evening! My anticipation was even higher when I saw that one of the presentation's producers was Steven Carl McCasland. This was the young man who is the head of the Beautiful Soup Theater Company, and directed that moving production of the musical, "RAGS," back in 2013. That was four years ago! Imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, how was the evening? How could it not be magical, because, just to hear this song sung professionally is a treat so seldom offered Theater Queens that I am disappointed more did not flock to it! Sure, some were there, (you could tell that by the applause accompanying the names of Neva Small, and, especially, Robin Wilson!!!!!!!!!) but many were not the least bit familiar with the show. I was excited for them, for what they were about to hear.
For starters, the complete score was sung! I wish they had opened with an audio of the original show's Overture, to get the house in the mood. This show has one of the most rousing overtures out there, underrated and under appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neva, of course, was a dream. Though I wish the evening had made more use of her. Couldn't she have sung just one song? Even a reprise of "I Wonder How It Is?"
Taking Neva's role that night, as Marian Gilbert, was a young lady named Megan Moynahan. She had to be the most nervous person on that stage, what with her role's originator barely feet away from her, the entire evening. But, so help me, not only did suggest a young Neva visually, she came as close as any I have heard to achieving what Neva Small did in "I Wonder How It Is." My breath was taken away. And when she and Beada Briglia, as Valerie Boyd, sing their musical duets, "Henry, Sweet Henry" becomes the lost treasure of theatrical magic proponents such as I claim it to be!
Alas.......................
I have to say it, and I will be as kind as I can, but Miss Brigilia was a disappointment as Val, when she did the solos. The sad thing is, she has a voice, she just doesn't know how to control and use it. And she was off pitch several times. When she began the short, but lovely, "Do You Ever Go To Boston?," I finally thought she was getting it right, but then, what should have been a tender and wistful song, she transformed into a belting ballad that was so overdone. Val is a sad soul; she is a rich child whom nobody wants, and all her solos are tinged with some of this sadness. Which needs to be conveyed. Except Miss Briglia just stands square and center and belts everything, often to the point of being overly and unattractively shrill. The poor thing was using a mike too!!! So, the belting was unnecessary. By the time she got to "Here I Am," I was biting my tongue; so much so, I wanted to run up to the stage, grab Neva, and sing the score with her!!!!!!!!!! Anytime, Neva; just say the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, darlings, I felt bad for Miss Briglia, who should have been restrained, or replaced. Once those duets came, Miss Moynahan carried her through on them, but the solos fell far short of what they are supposed to be.
Alice Playten is gone, unfortunately, so Alexa Shae Nziak, in the role of Broadway's first musical Mean Girl, Lillian Kafrtiz, had no cause to be nervous. Her numbers came through, not only because she knew how to belt the numbers properly, she also knew how to act her songs, with her voice. I loved her as Kafritz, but thought, maybe she should have played Val.
Alas.
The Girls should have walked off with the show. They are supposed to. Miss Briglia was the one misstep that failed.
Ron Spivak was humorously smarmy as Henry Orient, and Corinna Sowers Adler an appropriately selfish bitch, as Mrs. Boyd, a mother any child is well to be rid of. The musical ends just as the rest of Val's story is beginning; with Mom out the picture, it can't help being a happy one.
Despite what you just read, I loved the evening, darlings!!!!!!!!!! Nevertheless, there were some qualms--
1. The final line of "Academic Fugue" was cut. The final line is, "I'll drink some ink, and die!"
2. Again, a better Val was needed.
3. More of Neva.
4. This is a period show, and should have had some visual uniformity. The girls should have been in private school uniforms, not looking like Lindsay Lohan clones!!!!!!!!!!!
But this is me, darlings! You know how specific I can get, when I want something I love to be absolutely perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Henry, Sweet Henry" celebrates its 50th Anniversary this October.
Despite my qualms, this was still a jeweled Valentine of an evening!
But just wait till I do it with Neva!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Above, here are Neva and Robin Wilson, for those who have never experienced the magic of the 1967 original!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My beloved and I always watch CBS News before shutting down for the night. I am hot for Lonnie Quinn, and I just LOVE Marcia Kramer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marcia is a fiercely dedicated TV journalist. She is on the beat, all the time, and, when seeking answers, does she go after them.
So--
This past Thursday, my beloved had the day off. When I should have been home, writing the Bitch Of The Week column I just wrote, we had to dash to my pharmacy in the city for a med run, as we were going away that weekend.
We got off the train on the Upper West Side, at West 72nd Street. I began going up the stairs, and I quickly passed a blonde haired woman, whom I instantly recognized. Before I could process it all, I proclaimed loudly, "Oh, my God! It's Marcia Kramer!"
And it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was in the area, getting people perspective on Mayor De Blasio's notion of single handedly taking over the MTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marcia heard me, and asked if I wanted to be interviewed. I said I did.
Moving down to the platform, I looked directly at Marcia as she asked me about this idea. I said it was impossible; no one can run the MTA alone. There was a little more, but that was the gist. She thanked me, and we moved on. My David was in the background, so some of him got on TV too. Before parting, I said, "We love you, Marcia," to which she graciously answered, "I love you, too."
This was actually a week of graciousness. As the next post will prove.
But, really, Marcia is the best! The segment was aired on Channel 55 that evening, between nine and ten PM. I actually thought I looked good, and I seemed comfortable on TV! I actually was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like Lana Turner, darlings, it is all about being in the right place, at the right time!
I may not have found my Schraft's yet, but I am getting close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should have written this post last Thursday, girls, but things have a way of interfering with even the best intentions.
Now, many of you may ask, "Why Yoko? Why now?"
Let's face it, Yoko has been a bitch from the get go. She is the original "Crazy Asian Woman," and, to this day, I hold her primarily responsible for the breakup of The Beatles!!!!!!!!!!!
But it is what Yoko is up to now that makes her a Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week!
She has been seeking, and looks like she is going to get, co-writing credit for the John Lennon classic, "Imagine!"
The crust! The nerve! What's the matter, Yoko, is there a lien on your Dakota apartment? Do you need money that badly????????????????
When John met her, she was some kind of ersatz artist. She should have stuck with that, and kept her mouth shut. Lennon and McCartney were the real artists, not she; remember, this is the one who penned that phrase "woman is the nigger of the world!" You call that lyricism? Compared to the melody and words her husband wrote for "Imagine," which, by now, is almost an international anthem for world peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, Yoko Ono is the belated Bitch Of The Week! Just when all seems safe, she surfaces like a bad penny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go back to Okinawa, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or wherever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Imagine" belongs to John Lennon. And that is final!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The author's name I can barely pronounce, much less spell, but I can attest that one reader cited it as "Shirley Jackson meeting Vladamir Nabokov," and I have to agree with this assessment.
"Eileen" has a creepy undertone in its prose style, suggesting the Gothic implications of Jackson, and the more erotic ones of Nabokov. It sneaks up on the reader, because one is never sure where this story is going? Is it a tale of social outcast embitterment? A narrative by a schizophrenic? A clandestine, lesbian thriller? An exploration of female psychosis?
Actually, "Eileen" is all of these things. And the way Moshfegh builds the tension quietly till it explodes in an almost conventional revelation, shows how wonderfully she can rework generic conventions.
The novel is told in flashback, with the older Eileen, now settled somewhere, looking back on some events of her pivotal, twenty fourth year.
What I would like to know, is what happened afterward?
I hope another novel answers that question!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Despite what you may think of her, girls, the monster in
Queen Of Outer Space" was NOT Zsa Zsa Gabor! May she rest in peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With a new version--though why--of Stephen King's massive Tolstoyan (though not of equal quality!) tome, "IT," on the horizon, it is time to examine spiders on film.
I can recall slogging through "IT," when it first came out. I still think the book did not need to be that long, though Pennywise, both on the printed page, and, thanks to Tim Curry's brilliant performance, became an iconic character.
I am not sure how Pennywise will fare in the new version, but I can tell you, from the moment I discovered, first reading the book, that IT was a giant spider, I was not impressed. Slogging through one thousand plus pages for THIS??????????? I expected something original from Stephen King. So, in my mind, I pictured the most terrifying looking giant spiders I could remember, like the one from Universal's "Tarantula!," or the one in AIP's "Earth Vs, The Spider!" I mean, that one was shown going for an innocent baby!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I saw the spider in 1990's "IT," I laughed aloud! What a pathetic excuse for a monster; you could knock over this paper mache thing with one swipe! So, I had to wonder if the spider from "Queen Of Outer Space" had been, or is, brought back for the King vehicle?
True, the 1990 one has longer legs, but, really, they look ready to snap off, for a crab meat platter!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe the 1958 spider grew in 32 years! Or maybe they just attached longer legs to its body frame!
In either case, both creatures are pathetic! So, how will this be handled in 2017? Will digitization make for a more terrifying spider, or will these pathetic creatures be recycled????????????
Because, if they are, why don't other, neglected monsters get their due?
Why isn't cute Cuccumbo brought back?????????? Now, HE had star quality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If the payoff in this upcoming "IT" turns out to be as poor as I suspect, I can only offer one suggestion---
Stop trying to redo this story, unless it is to be done right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darlings, I am all for colonoscopies and screenings and such, but I have to admit I never took this ad seriously. Especially, when the really gross part--collecting the stool sample--is just glossed over, by being mentioned so fast, it is almost censored.
This ad was in vogue awhile ago, then it seemed to disappear. Now, it is back, and I find it odd and creepy. The voice over is cute, but when you grasp the excremental purpose of the ad, it is downright sickening. Now, I get it, when Baby Jane Hudson said she only wanted to talk about the "nice things."
Can't we all just agree to get our colonoscopies, and stop airing this creepy ad?????????
Really, girls, it, literally is full of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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