Come On, Darlings, Light This Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, the fun just continues!!!!!! Last night, after recovering from a migraine, and a book group session that fizzled when the member we wanted to roast did not show, I was cuddling with Monsieur, when on came the "On Fire" segment of "Law And Order: Criminal Intent." Now, I am not as partial to this segment of the franchise as I am to 'SVU', but it is STILL set in New York, the acting is first rate, as has come to be expected overall, and it is SO fun, girls, to see how fat cute, cherubic Vincent D'Onofrio gets with each episode.

And this one was something. It starts out with a spinsterish church secretary, Margaret, working away one evening, when, suddenly, a Molotov cocktail flies through a nearby window, setting fire to the church, St. Gerald's, with the flaming Margaret
running into the street, screaming, when the firefighters arrive!!!! Burnt to a crisp, darlings! Like Joan Of Arc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who caused the fire? And why? Before you know it, churches are being set aflame all over, but the investigators think it is a cover up for St. Gerald's being the main target.

Then we meet the Reid family. Yuppie scum Justin, and his sex kitten wife Noreen, whom he shags in his father's bathroom, right before dinner!!!! Real class, yeah!!!! Justin is SO big on proving himself--saying how he moved away, became a broker trainee, and was making six figures before he was able to drink. Then he moves back to the old nabe, with trophy Noreen, and buys the biggest, most vulgar house on the street, just to show off to the neighbors how superior he is to them!!!!
Which would be like me going back to Highland Park, New Jersey, and purchasing a house on Harrison Avenue!!!!! Which I don't need to, because, as I have said, from the moment I was born, I knew I was superior to everyone in that town!!!!!!!

Show off Justin even offers to donate $100K to repair the church he grew up in, and feels such affection for. A REAL Christian!!!!!! Yeah, right!!!!!!!!!!!

But then we met Justin's step mom, and Glenn, Justin's half brother. Regina, the step mom, is played by a mature looking Theresa Russell, who is doing an impersonation of Kathleen Turner, when she was once attractive. So much so I thought maybe Kathleen was wanted for this role, but they could not meet her price. And looking like the cow she is, how could she play this part???

Anyway, it seems there is something funny, conspiring, between Justin and Regina, like she has egged him on all his life, like an ersatz Lady Macbeth. Perfect casting for Theresa Russell. Meanwhile, half brother Glenn gets sloughed aside by everyone, even though he has health problems, and behavior ones that make him seem impaired, or what in less PC times might be called "retarded!!!!"

The one left in the dark, even by the end, is Mr. Reid, who has no idea how bad things were under his roof.

Things start unraveling with Justin's roommate, Charlie, whom the detectives question, and for all intents and purposes looks like their perp. But then charlie is killed in a way suggesting he was about to start another fire--though there is not a burn mark on him!!!!! Aha!!!!!!!

With the aid of some skillful math, the truth is pieced together, with the suspects gathered in the church for a denouement.

It turns out Glenn set the fire. Margaret's death was unfortunate in that she happened to be there. But she was the cause of things, sending to Glenn records giving evidence that Justin is not his half brother--but his actual father. It seems the firsr Mrs. Reid died when Justin was a teen, and then Daddy remarried Regina (just as nasty as "Little Foxes" Regina). Teen Justin had trouble accepting her as Mom, so, one weekend, with Dad away on business, Mommy appeals to his hormones, seduces him, and becomes pregnant, with Glenn. Glenn is born somewhat prematurely, and has lifelong respiratory problems, but this is skillfully covered up by Regina. he calls Regina "You witch!" which is the least of it, and now Father and Son begin to eye each other with mutual hate. Which Glenn cannot be blamed for, after Justin admits to killing Charlie!!!!! And Glenn's inconsolability over that death makes me wonder how close he and Charlie were. Huh, loves!!!!! And Glenn had set fire to the church--he worked for a cleaning outfit--to cover Margaret's secret, then went on an arson spree, thinking to throw everyone off the trail.

I was so glad when they clamped the cufffs on that scum Justin and bitch Regina. I would like to have seen Mr. Reid and Noreen taken them both apart!!!!!
And Glenn gets hauled off, too, for setting the fire, and causing Margaret's death!!!!!!

Such sick fun, darlings!!!!! And rare that everyone gets their just deserts!!!!!!! That Regina was one sick, calculating bitch, and no one plays one better than Theresa Russell!!!! Except me, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"L and O' CI" may not be as inspired as 'SVU' or "The Golden Girls," but when those are n ot available, it is a wonderful wind down!!!!!!!!!

Now, wind this down, dolls!!!!!!!