Darlings, What'cha Gonna Do, When They Come For You? Bad Boys!!!!!!!!! Bad Boys!!!!!!!!!! Bad Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!

"How can you do it?" asks Monsieur.

How, I am constantly asked can someone as erudite and literary as moi, darlings, watch something as trashy as "COPS?" Well let me tell you something, girls---I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! This show is a hoot, in the same sense that "Judge Judy" is. This is a true social documentation of America, and, honey, if you think America is scary now, wait till after you have watched cops.

First of all, it never takes place in New York, I guess they figure, though ficiton, "Law And Order," with its franchises, has the market cornered. Most of the shows take place in White Trashland--Texas, Florida, Georgia-- with duggies denying everything, "Ah Doan Kno', Man," says the coke addict, with the bag seated next to him. "I ain' got no drugs!" You just gotta love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The other night, the show outdid itself, when it ran a segment called "Naked Cops." Now, before my girls get all hot and bothered, thiniking they are going to see hot naked cops, let me tell you very few of the cops on this show are HOT. Many are full figured, and, darlings, it is a wonder to me how they catch anyone, because by the time they have the suspect collared on the ground, they are huffing and puffing so furiously they seem just one step away from a trip to the ER!!!!!!!! Honey, if the ballet kept to these standards, there would be no ART!!!!!! Perhaps the boys in blue should be hitting the dance barre, not the pub!!!!!!!!!!! And cool it with the donuts!!!!!!!!!!!!

The subject of "Naked Cops" was suspects, each of whom arrested, was, for unfathomaable reasons, naked. Like Jeffrey, who called himself Brian, but was sleepinhg nude in a stolen car. What was that about??? At least, he had shorts to put on. There was this other guy, in a vacant lot, no clothes on him, no sign of them anywhere, higher than a kite, covered in blood. It took sic cops to get him down, and they had to disninfect themselves from the blood, though they wore gloves.

You just have to laugh at the trashiness of it all, which is America!!!!!!!! Thank God my girls and I live in a sophisticated area. The areas these people live make the characters on "Mamma's Family" seem sophisticated by comparison. Eunice was a fashion icon compared to some of these babew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But for unwinding after a long day, you cannot beat "CO{S." It will make you grateful for what you do NOT have to deal with.

Like yours truly, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!