Girls, I Am Telling You, Being Gay Starts With Small Boys Being Denied Their Cha Cha Heels, During Christmas, In Childhood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    "I would be so proud, if you was a fag, and had a
                                                     real beautician boyfriend.  I always worry that you
                                                     will work in an office, get married, have children,
                                                     celebrate anniversaries.  The world of the heterosexual
                                                     is a sick and boring life!"
                                                     ----Edith Massey as Aunt Ida, in "Female Trouble"
                                                            (1974)
                                   

                                   Dawn Davenport, darlings, is the perfect role model, for the LGBT community!

                                    But before we get into Dawn's story, told in the 1974 John Waters classic, "Female Trouble," (which I cannot believe was made in 1974, and is now 40 years old!!!!!!!!!) at Chelsea Classics ("Where Dreams Come True!") with host Hedda Lettuce, I gotta tell you what happened before the pic began.

                                       Hedda always opens with a half hour show.  During that time, she raffles off prizes, which people win.  In all the years that I have been going to these things, as a spinster, with my beloved, and, last night, accompanied by our elegant friend, Chris (who, I am convinced, brought me luck) I not only won for the first time--I won the Grand Prize!  This consisted of two free tickets to Bow Tie Cinemas (which I can use), a "22 Jump Street" T-shirt, and.....are you ready....a jar of "Boy Butter!"  What is "Boy Butter?"  For the uninitiated, let me explain.

                                        This is  some kind of sex lubricant for gay men--usually twinkies in their 20's, who are home alone, and have nothing better to do than jerk off to whatever porn sites they are cruising on the Internet.   Not that I am any stranger to sex lubricants or jerking off, myself, but, at my age, and with the skin issues, I have today, what the hell is in this stuff????????  Maybe I should sent a sample over to my idol, Roberta, who, as we all know is a Professional Anti-Aging Consultant, (who took Advanced Placement Biology!!!!!!!!) and could analyze its chemical properties, allowing me to know if it is safe for me to use it!
Until, then, what am I supposed to do with it?  One idea I have is running Baby Gojira up the stairs, and leaving it outside the door of our neighbor, Big Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          I mean, I was treated like a celebrity!  People waited till I walked out of the bathroom, at the end of the film, to acknowledge me!  And called out to me from restaurants, as we
made our way down Eighth Avenue, to Fourteenth Street!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         But back to the movie!  Hedda asked some viewers before it began, what they thought "Female Trouble" was about.  One person said it was "the journey of a spoiled brat!"   I resent that!
Another thought it was "the inversion of the American system!"  Cute; must be a freshman philosophy, or sociology, major!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           You know what the movie is about?  It is about the Emancipation Of The Gay Male!  The stand that we must all take to be our OWN individuals!  Yes, darlings, that is what Dawn Davenport stands for!

                                              Now, this movie, for the uninitiated, is worth seeing for many reasons, but

the one reason above all is the Christmas scene. For those of you sick of "It's A Wonderful Life," and such, just take a look at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              I am telling you, my parents should have sent me to a girl's home, where I would have been more popular there, than Roberta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                And then there is Edith Massey, as Aunt Ida!  She's kinda like our own, beloved, Auntie Alvin!  Auntie Alvin would look quite the vision in that leather S and M outfit, that Aunt Ida wears!

                                                Not to forget Taffy, the role played by Mink Stole, and who I want to play in the remake!  Car Accident as a morbid game?  Throwing food against the wall?????????  Darlings, this IS me!!!!!!!!!  And Taffy has my favorite line in the film, as I will show you--

                                              Isn't that just precious, darlings???????  And can't you hear me just saying this?????

                                              I can't say enough about the power of this film. Every young gay man who begins ejaculating should see it immediately!!!!!!!!!!  It will change him, and set him on the right path in life!

                                                "Who wants to be the first to die for art?????????????"

                                                  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!